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FU** Being Addicted

I have never experienced anger or rage like I'm having now that I'm sober. It's NOT directed at anyone...like, I'm behaving nice. Not yelling, bitching, fighting...

It's an internal fire of danged rage I've not felt...I used to get depressed. I thought I would off pills but instead I feel this rage.

I want to channel it and make it serve me. I have things to do! Any ideas?

Thanks ... LOVE YOU ALL
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Avatar universal
The anger I felt in early recovery scared the heck out of me.  I had so much of it!  But I kept hearing from those that had gone through it to just feel it.  Allow the anger, it is just an emotion.  It will not hurt you.  It must come out in order for us to begin healing.  Good luck to you!
Helpful - 0
2030769 tn?1343647674
hi,
not sure how long you have been sober, but i remember being completely full of rage the entire first month.  The good news is, it will go away.  My advice would be to try not to make any major life altering decisions during this time....or at least not when your emotions are out of whack. Hang in there, once everything balances out, you are going to experience an inner peace that was impossible to have while getting high.  It is sooooo worth it :)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
HI you will find you will have to work for your recovery  geting off the pills is just the beggining give it sime time stick with the therpy and you will be sucseeful....by the way the only people you will meet at N/A will share your common problem addiction  I wouldent worry about running into anyone that would cause you trouble there they will welcome you with a hug  I did therapy for 3yrs   went into Na after a relaps  works better for me give the tharapy a try if your not getting anny where try N/A
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Avatar universal
And taking care of loose ends that got away while high seems to help channel stuff.
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Avatar universal
therpy is good it will help also
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Avatar universal
Hey Gnarly, you're right...except I live a high profile life in my community. I'm so worried about being recognized. But, I am going to therapy twice a week. Monday and Thursday.
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Avatar universal
HI......give N/A  a try just because you stop the pills dosent stop the addiction.................Gnarly
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Avatar universal
With me, drugs covered up lot's of feelings, especially anger and resentment. It's like drugs insulated my "wires" dulling all my senses. When I stopped using the wires immediately became bare. All those feeling became prevalent. Lot's of triggers out there, any one of them can cause me to use again because of those bare wires. I would get anger I didn't know what to do with, how to channel it. All my feelings and emotional wreckage of the past needs to be dealt with, and done away with, or I'll use again. That's why I go to aftercare. My meetings have steps that I use to help me deal with the past so I can enjoy my future. It seems to work for me if I keep working at it.
Helpful - 0
1416133 tn?1351123217
Haha - well, a lawnmower (push kind of course) might give you the same result!  Hang in there, and keep smiling.  A good attitude goes a long way in this process and you certainly have that! :)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Dear ImDONE, I find our names on here are similar lol. Yes I have been cleaning, organizing, cooking, gardening... therapeutic! I have wood floors and only one area rug. Maybe I'll vacuum the lawn. Hahahaha
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Avatar universal
Abritt and Fireby, you make good points. There are specific people and situations I've never allowed myself to be angry at or about. I think that my recovery is a healthy one because yes, I was numb to these feelings and now I'm allowing myself to feel them...and two because yes I agree, my brain itself is literally healing. Not only are the protein supplements helping lean tissue recovery, my brain is benefiting. Also, the use of the word "process" is entirely accurate. Rebuilding my life, body, mind, spirituality, etc. is definitely a process. As each piece is put in place, other pieces begin to find their home too.
Helpful - 0
1416133 tn?1351123217
Cleaning is a great way to vent that anger.  Vacuuming especially!
Helpful - 0
2107198 tn?1336136106
For most, it is part of the process.  You are getting the first brain action that is not numbed, and you have started the process to heal your brain.

Most of us had not had real emotions for so long, it's ok to embrace them.

Bryan
Helpful - 0
900459 tn?1304993259
I think we all go thru this I felt the same way but my anger was at myself because once we are sober we realize all the **** we did and ppl we hurt during active addiction and its a lot to swallow but I eventually forgave myself and the anger subsided
Helpful - 0
5350624 tn?1368535783
And you know I'm here for you, girl...
Helpful - 0
5350624 tn?1368535783
I went through the sane thing. It only lasted a short time....just keep going.
Helpful - 0
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