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Fatigue and mental cravings

HI everyone. I'm having the worst time with mental cravings. For some reason I really crave valium. I got some xanax but all it seems to do is.....well....nothing. I'm so down in the dumps. This is day 5 with no lortabs. I can get my refill in 12 days. At first I thought I'd have the strength to leave it....but as the days get closer I don't think I can do without it. ANd the fatique! I don't have the energy to do anything. Just taking a shower overwhelms me. It's so weird to be sooooo tired but not be able to sleep. The xanax didn't help, the kava kava didn't help and valerian root didn't help. I started taking meletonin. I guess I could do without the sleep if I felt at peace within myself but laying there awake I just sink deeper and deeper into depression. I've got past the physical symptons..except for some damn headaches...but the mental part is just about to do me in. I'm in tears as I write this. It's 7:00 am and all I can think about is another day of hell. Any advice to get rid of this hopeless sinking feeling? I'm doing the cold turkey recipe and that is what I believed helped with the physical side but what about the mental? The only vitamin I didn't get was the 5Hp (not sure if that's spelled right) Would I benefit from that? I need some advice please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel so hopeless and alone.
14 Responses
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Avatar universal
oops, my fingers are not what they should be. i really don't
like to post in tripple!!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
joel:
welcome to the forum. i'm a 50 year old opiate abuser. a good
deal of my life has been spent using heroin. morphine, dilaudid.
oxy, hydro,levo and fentanal. i started out using herion, but i
switched over to pharm. drugs 'cause at least then i new what i
was getting! i went for over 10 years doing B&E at any drugstore
or clinic i could get into (i can't remember any that i couldn't)
there was some fantastic heroin when i switched over to pharm
drugs, but it couldn't compete with the known purity of pharm
dope! also pharm dope is easier and safer to get.

ENOUGH OF THIS!!!

all the years i shot away, i never once thought what i would do
if i ever actually needed an opiate pain killer. see i was prob-
aly just like you- i thought i was to smart to mess up my life,
overdose, get caught...........
well if none of those things things have happened to you, all
that means is they will.....

now i'm 50, suffering from intractable pain from an old injury
i got when i thought i was invinceable. today i take 40mg of
oxy-c three times a day. taking like i'm directed to take. it
is the hardest thing i have ever done.

i don't know why you see heroin as different from the rest of
the narcotics. i for one don't see it or it's user as any dif-
ferent from any other opiate addicts.

but anyhow, welcome!!
there is always room for one more in here!
keep an angel on your shoulder
kip
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
joel:
welcome to the forum. i'm a 50 year old opiate abuser. a good
deal of my life has been spent using heroin. morphine, dilaudid.
oxy, hydro,levo and fentanal. i started out using herion, but i
switched over to pharm. drugs 'cause at least then i new what i
was getting! i went for over 10 years doing B&E at any drugstore
or clinic i could get into (i can't remember any that i couldn't)
there was some fantastic heroin when i switched over to pharm
drugs, but it couldn't compete with the known purity of pharm
dope! also pharm dope is easier and safer to get.

ENOUGH OF THIS!!!

all the years i shot away, i never once thought what i would do
if i ever actually needed an opiate pain killer. see i was prob-
aly just like you- i thought i was to smart to mess up my life,
overdose, get caught...........
well if none of those things things have happened to you, all
that means is they will.....

now i'm 50, suffering from intractable pain from an old injury
i got when i thought i was invinceable. today i take 40mg of
oxy-c three times a day. taking like i'm directed to take. it
is the hardest thing i have ever done.

i don't know why you see heroin as different from the rest of
the narcotics. i for one don't see it or it's user as any dif-
ferent from any other opiate addicts.

but anyhow, welcome!!
there is always room for one more in here!
keep an angel on your shoulder
kip
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Katie, Thomas is right...in 11 or 12 days you will be feeling a lot better. The fatigue and the restlessness were the absolute worst for me. I wrote and wrote in my journal about how this was truly living hell. I screamed, I cried, I rolled around on the floor, I prayed like there was no tomorrow.
Time took care of it. Suddenly, one day, I could walk a few steps without feeling winded, and so will you. Now, I feel fine, and the miracle of that is not lost on me.

Katie, when the time comes when you have the option to fill that script, the choice is of course yours, and we will be here for you no matter what you choose, but please remember that filling that script will take you right back down this road to living hell. Please think about this addiction beast as a Demon that is trying to steal your soul...or as the nasty Dragon that our Wiz always talks about. Go to NA Katie. I really really feel that it would help you make it through that temptation. You are a good person, caught in a terrible web of addiction and none of us can do it alone.

I just want you to know that no matter what, we're here for you, and will care about you.

love,
WW
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Yes,   people here on this forum can and do relate to heroin use....I do have to say this though,,,Dope is dope,  whetever it may be percs, vics, oxy's etc..I did the demerol deal and everything else I could get my hands on and it is all bad so no, you don't have to find another site,,stick around here and everyone here can help you....the new comers, the old timers,,talk to skipper, JB, Thomas, all of them,,,,and an old time poster and dear friend of mine  Brighty has struggled through her daughter's addiction with her...love to all    cin
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Well folks....I'm having one hell of a time. My nerves are shot....my jaws are actually sore from gritting my teeth. This is a living hell. I can't seem to find a way to take the edge off. I don't think I'll be strong enough to not get my prescription refilled....11 days left. Thomas....I'm going to try 2 benadryl tonight and I pray it will let me sleep. Last night I tossed and turned so much I actually fell out of bed. And unfortunatly...no grandma's with a bottle of valium. I don't know anyone who has valium....I've already hit them all up. I'm climbing out of my skin and crying like a baby. No one around here can figure out what is wrong with me. I'm sore...weak and just downright disgusted. Later, folks.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
HEROIN!
I am just curious, no one here talks about Heroin.  You would think that out of all these pain killer addictions there would be someone in here that escalated to the big "H".  That is what happened to me.  I was a percocet, vicodin, basically anything that had oxy, or hydrocodone in it,  addict for the last 3 years, that is until about a year ago.  That is when, I discovered snorting Oxycontins.  Then about 6 months ago, I was going through that awful withdrawl from the oxys, and someone offered me some dope. Now I am probably like 95% out here when i say that I never ever ever would do Heroin.  dabbling with the percs is one thing but Heroin , oh no not "HEROIN!" Well let me tell you something.  I got a better high from 2 Percocets than I did from my first bag of dope. I am now addictd to Heroin.  About 10 bags a day. Which is $100 a day.  Just wanted to know if any of you out there can relate?  Maybe I should look for another website?  Are there any Heroin addicts in this site?Please let me know if you are out there!  Thanks, and I'm sorry for interrupting this current post, but it wouldn't let me start a new one. Thanks agin.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hello Joel,I have been wondering about that exact thing!There is very little differance in the way these narcotics are processed by the brain. With oxcy'x and vic'c ect. becoming harder to find and more expensive, there has to be an increase in H use as you described.  Shane
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
paxil is certainly an SSRI ... but I have spoken to many who have used the detox recipe anyway along with their SSRIs and not experienced anything bad. Perhaps the publishers are erring on the side if caustion, don't really know. Glad to hear the recipe is working for you. Best of luck.

Thomas
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thomas.. your recipe has been working very good for me. I'm at the end of a 2 week tapper (my 3rd attempt but so far so good) and I have been feeling rather well. Also taking 100mg 5HTP 2x a day.  I have found the "lower the slower" when tappering is a must though.  

I am on Paxil (seratonin reuptake for years) and have also been doing the L-tryosine the last 2weeks.  I went to the site you mentioned and the only warning I came across says if on MIAO (sp?) you should avoid L-tryosine. Is this similiar to the seratonin reuptake?  I'm just a little concerned after reading your post.  Thanks for any more help you can give.  Durty
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I'm afraid the fatigue -- and it's an especially annoying sort of fatigue, isn't it? kind of a profound malaise combined with muscle laxitude -- is par for the course for hydrocodone withdrawal. Twelve days from now, you;ll be feeling pretty good, actually, but the availability plus the psychological addiction will make you fill the script anyway ...

In the meantime, I'll re-print my detox recipe which includes L-Tyrosine, a substance that enables your brain to replenish several key neurotransmitters. It might help you.

Here's my tried-and-true do-it-yourself "cold turkey" detox protocol.

Supplies you'll need first:

As many Valium, Xanax, Librium or Klonopin as you can get your hands on.

--- first day off the opiate, use enough Valium or whatever, to, if possible, sleep through most of the first couple days. Then start decreasing the dose until you're down to nothing in about 5 or 6 days. You'll have to do the math. The Valium or one of its sister drugs will help tremendously with the anxiety and, somewhat, with the body aches. Valium may make you eat like a pig and, when withdrawing from narcotics, one usually craves sweets, so I'd be ready to indulge myself, along with some good escapist movies. That always worked for me.

Around-the-clock access to either hot baths or a Jacuzzi.

--speaking of those goddamn mostly thigh cramps that seem to love to show up in the middle of the night, have that hot bath or Jacuzzi at the ready. Don't hesitate to spend the majority of the week in that hot water if that's what it takes to get you through it. You may be wrinkled, but you'll have your sanity. Don't underestimate what the hot baths can do to relieve the withdrawal discomfort. They really work. Heating pads between the thighs can help with those cramps, too, but not as much as the hot baths.

Brand-name-only Imodium (over the counter at the supermarket)

-- if you're a normal hydro addict, you'll be getting the runs by no later than the second or third day off the lorcet. In my experience, it's an especially unpleasant variety. At the first impulse, take two or three and respond to returning urges with two tabs. It's important that you do it immediately.

L-Tyrosine (qty 50 of the 500mg caps) - an amino acid available at the health food store.

chronic use of narcotics depletes the brain of several critical neurotransmitters responsible for well-being and mental performance and attitude.
Plus:
Bottle of 100 mg B6 caps

My experience detoxing with this stuff says take 4000 (four thousand) mg. (8x500mg caps of L-Tyrosine) with two 100mg B6 caps every day for your "detox week" to provide your brain with the raw material it needs to replenish its stores of these neurotransmitters. Many feel the difference on the very first dose. ***Take it on an empty stomach, either first thing in the morning or at bedtime. You can continue this regimen after the first week if it continues to make you feel good. I continue to use it every other day with very few exceptions. After a few weeks, I cut down on the dosage, though, as it can cause the runs at high doses.

Multi-vitamins (most junkies don't eat too well, so this one's just for good sense).

Take a look at this link. According to this doc, you also need to add copper, phosphorus and Vitamin C to replenish the dopamine, and the norepinephrine. You might have to do some hunting at the health food store to find the right vitamin or vitamins to supply all this stuff. I got a pretty good result from just the L-Tyrosine and B6, however.

I also understand from another contributor that zinc and magnesium help replenish and restore vital substances depleted by narcotics use.

http://www.mindfixers.com/pathway1.html

WARNING: This same site says to avoid L-Tyrosine if you're on an SSRI (serotonin reuptake inhibitor) such as Prozac, etc.


Good luck.

Thomas
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Avatar universal
Katie, I felt so bad for you! I know your pain so well.  You just have to believe and know that your depression is a direct result of your withdrawal but it WILL end.  It does not, unfortunately happen overnight.  Please rely on your faith in some Higher Power as this will help you thru the rough times.  Also, if you get your script refilled you will just have to go through all this again.  There are some great detox programs available now and I finally had to go to one to get off these F***ng pills!  They make detoxing quite comfortable for you and when you come out (14-28 days) you have a much better awareness of your addiction. Just be sure and check out what medication they use to detox, darvon, valium etc. You don't want to go to one that uses cold turkey method.  Please post any questions and I will try to help.  I am two months clean and I am finally feeling alive again.  I remember the depression also and I truly wanted to die. So there is hope, you will not feel bad forever and I will say a prayer for your recovery. GBY
Shane
PS: Katie, please find an NA meeting in your town and force yourself to go.  They have all been thru it and there is much love and caring in this fellowship.  It will truly help you on your road to recovery.  This forum is a great opportunity to discuss things with others but talking with flesh and blood people who understand what you're is truly inspiring.
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Avatar universal
Katie,
The fatigue was the worst for me too. For about a week after the worst of the withdrawals, I could barely move. My energy was so entirely depleted that just getting out of bed was a HUGE effort. It has only been in the last 4 days or so that my energy has totally returned. I finally feel great.

Here is some direct advice.

If you have not already been taking the zinc/magnesium supplements, start that today.

Go to the health food store and buy some 5 HTP. Take 50mgs. If that goes down ok, in 5 hours take 100 mgs.  My doc told me I should be taking 100mgs 3 times a day as an antidepressant. This help enormously with the depression.

For me, nothing but time got rid of the totally depleted energy, except time.  I know about the sleep thing..being exhausted and unable to sleep sucks.  Sleep is still messed up for me. That is how strong these drugs are...they rob our bodies of our natural ability to function.
Remember one thing....Attitude is *everything*.  Think of how horrible you feel, how little energy you have, and remember that this is the *direct* result of the physical addiction to medication. This is how bad it is for you.  Focus on that every time you try to just walk to the bathroom and get winded..tell yourself that it is not worth it to put your body at such risk.

Honestly, the physical energy depletion will go away once you've been clean about two weeks. Suddenly you will begin to feel your own natural energy returning and you will feel better than you have in a long time. Then you will start seeing the light, and have the mental clarity to build yourself up again.

Hang in there Katie..you are almost through. This has been one of the hardest ordeals I've ever been through in my life, so I know what you are going through.  

lots of love and strength and positivity to you!
WW
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hey Katie,

I am new here but I would like to give some advise. You have come this far and by the time you are able to get you rx you will be further along. So lets say you get your med and it helps you feel better. What about when your done with it? Then you are right back to the beginning. Show yourself you have the will power to leave the medicine at the pharmacy. I know the mental cravings and the lack of sleep. And the depression. But people everyday survive this and get throught it. People like you and I. Vicoden was my poison. And I LOVE IT! Unfortunantly, I can't have it. I am still waiting for the day I don't have such harsh mental cravings. Then are lessening. They come less often. But by picking those meds up you have just stepped back on the merry go round. For me i kept watching certain movies that helped. Like 28 days and When a man loves a woman. I figured if they can do it I can. (yes I know these ******* are being paid millions to act but it helped LOL) Actually you will start feeling better soon. 3-5 days are the worse. So you are OVER THE HUMP! I have been using "Thomas recipe" and i do think it helps. If you have the 5ht use them. I was in to see my doc today and he said for me to definitly take them. And katie, it is okay to cry. To scream and ***** whatever. You are going to be emotional. But stay strong. And remember the worse is almost behind you.

Shea
Helpful - 0
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