I don't think there is ever one answer to your question. Similar to your question yesterday, there is not one problem nor solution. You also hear many say, "It's simple, not easy." Take Jesus for example, "Love they neighbor as thyself,' "Love they enemy and pray for them." It's simple not easy, there is no one answer. It's all of it. Do I think it would have helped us to learn more problem solving skills ahead of time? Sure. Would it have helped know how hard it is to come off methadone ahead of time? Sure. You also hear, "Knowledge is power." Had I known the future, I would have not started taking methadone. We are all children who are growing. Your grandmother learned from her mistakes, your mother did to, now it's your turn. Nobody gets a clean run of it, we all fall short of perfection. So I guess my answer is, if you had a different life and history, and more knowledge, in an ideal world, you may not have ever taken methadone and posted this thread.
I try to impart my knowledge of addiction to my children, I think they have a better chance than I did. I also am grateful for my addiction, not so much at 45 days, but I am trying harder to be as good a man as I can. I don't know that I would have ever been so eager to do the right thing and be my best, had I never been an addict. The truth is, I know many miserible people who have never taken drugs, rich people, poor people, and middle of the road people. I focus on, "Form this day forward." I know I'm supposed to hash through all my past and make since of it, but those issue arise on their own. I deal with each one, the day they surface. I found that I had to watch my expectations. I had hoped to feel better, understand and grown faster than I was. You are a researcher, me too. I get manic and read a few books in a day, write 100 pages of notes, discuss and analyze myself into a frenzy. Just like detox, I have had to learn how to wait for answers to come, they do.
You are doing so awesome, I really think you have a lot of great living to do. Anyway, there's my take on it. Keep searching and sharing, I'm so glad you are here.
FANTASTIC POST as always❕❗ Very good response WEAVER
I stayed too for 10 years, even as my family was dying and my world was crumbling...I stayed, 6 years ago I wanted 2 get clean but couldnt. I like this post makes me think
Excellent posts (both April & T.)
I agree that there is no one answer (there rarely is with anything that forms our 'reality'.) Even the idea that it's not our choice because it is 'genetically determined' is a choice in the sense that the person who chooses to believe this theory alone, is, in all probability, choosing it in order to NOT change. So, even our very beliefs may be motivated by our fearful/nihilistic mindsets or conversely by our courage & willingness to push the envelope, leave our comfort zones & test ourselves.
I'm actually glad that I didn't know how extended & rough my Methadone detox would be as it might have affected my determination! (I mean I understood it would be rough, rough, rough but the reality was pretty much inaccessible while still on opiates -- as was just about everything else..)
My system of Spirituality tells me that the Universe/Creative force knows what it's doing (for lack of a better phrase!) So, I too, am glad of my addiction, now. To feel otherwise, would be to regret who I am & where I'm at. I've spent too many years looking backwards in self-reproach/disgust, etc. It took me many, many years to get here but I finally realized that it's one of the toughest tests & greatest learning experiences we can go through if we can face it. My belief (excuse) that I was an addict & that that was that (low self-esteem) kept me in bondage for so long. Prayers for guidance & Meditation are what brought me the 'shift' that caused a gradual revolution in the way I saw myself, my past & the possibilities before me. Each day is a new learning experience & I now believe that each person that I encounter has something to teach me. It's a slow & gradual process but I try to keep up a constant 'emotional' read. Sure, there's still negativity & resistance but that's what I learn the most from. I have to make constant minor adjustments & for this I'm grateful. I'm thrilled to be grateful these days b/c I never truly had that in my life before & it's a form of love.
April, I'm not sure how the shift happened for you because I think the combination of circumstances & nuance are unique for each person. That's why I've only shared my own thoughts & experience with you as best I can describe them. Not sure it helps -- but there you go! (Smile,)
Just pondering on what you said & I think your may have hit the nail on the head! As did Annie and what's point of thinking my being a problem solver would have changed a thing....looking back seems to be a waste of time and at this point my energy is still so hit & miss that I think I'll take you so often given good advise and use it for day tot day mental needs! Thanks for the reply I always look forward to hearing from you....all my special friends!
Lots of ky love & hugs, April
Heather my sweet friend....just think we may have stayed....but look at us now! We did it & we got each other now! Love & hugs girlie!
I was told something simple by someone once . They said "We all generally get here at about the time that we need to" . That time may seem quite random and have little to do with our life situation and more to do with inertia.
As Annie said,reality is a pretty fuzzy thing.Reality is definitely subjective and if we are using then it is even more difficult to sort through our reality and make any sense of it. Even free will is sometimes just an illusion as our subconscious tries to steer us at every fork in the road.
I know for me that my situations didn't dictate my desire to live clean as much as my growing sense of regret and my conscience speaking louder and louder as the years went by. I like posts like these. They make me think ;)
Well said, Ric. Nice Post!