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Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
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Avatar universal

Feeling Good (?)

Hi everyone/anyone/all

I am starting to feel pretty good the last couple days. I really have forgotten what normal is, (if I ever knew), but this is close. I have some clarity, some peace, and I believe I have been given 'another' opportunity to become the person I was intended to be. While others were feeling so much better after two or three weeks of being clean; I felt pretty awful (foggy, tired, anxious) and was concerned that this was the way it was going to stay. I'm still having a difficult time sleeping probably because I am still tapering the xanax..and will be for some time. I want to rush it and be done but after everything I've read..it seems prudent to do this slowly. The false sense of security the oxycodone gave me came at such a high price. I used to be a social person and due to my 'use', I retreated from people, from Church, and burned a number of bridges. As an active addict, I became completely selfish and self-centered. I do have a serious illness; but heck so do a lot of people, and many much worse. All I have done in the past 4 years is think about my illness, my pills, my 'terrible' situation. Gloom and doom. I know the work begins now. Get involved with living, go to meetings, get back to church and try to get some counseling. Now I really do see the light at the end of the tunnel. 54 days ago I came here to the forum clueless, just to read.. almost immediately, (like a lightbulb went off in my head) the need to quit these pills became a consuming desire. I want to thank you all for being here and for your support. I thank my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ for carrying me through these many dark nights. I could not have done this alone. I have a long way to go..but I have gratitude once again, I have hope that my life will get better as long as I don't pick up a pill, a drink or anything/anyone that jeopardizes my sobriety. I realize I have been my own worst enemy, and I have the opportunity now to change that. For those struggling today, I just want you to know...it does get better. One foot in front of the other.
One day at a time.
5 Responses
617347 tn?1331293081
wow... you sound great, donewitis :) enjoy these days and keep on with the work, one day at a time ... :)
1235186 tn?1549257619
COMMUNITY LEADER
hey my friend,
what a beautiful post. i am so happy for you and so proud of you.
a big congratulations to you on your clean time.it's a marathon not a sprint and you are running the race with patience.
good for you. keep on truckin,keep on keepin on, one foot in front of the other, one day at a time.
sending hugs and continued blessings
debbie
Avatar universal
IM SO happy to here your starting to feel good....it takes a wile to get there for some of us for me after 16 1/2 yrs non stop on the narcotics it took 90 days just to feel like there was hope it it wasent for my conslor Paul I would have given up but each week he contuely encouraged me to stay with it I argued that I should be farther along but in the end I have made it  reading these post mean so much to me it shows what we do here works it may take some time but in the end you find piece I fully agree with you I couldent have done it without God and the saving grace of Jesus there is such power there ageist such darkness that we allowed into our lives you shine light on darkness dose it not light up Jesus was thet light for me and you and countless others  thank you for your post and thank you for being part of my recovery we do this together may God bless you and your family abundantly your friend and fellow addict Mark  
Avatar universal
WOW nice job on the clean time and getting ur life back post like this make me really look forward to the future life i will have w my family and just to feel me again. I knwo what it is like to have these pills consume u u said it soooo well:) I also agree the grace of God and Jesus in my life IS what keeps me going i can get back into serving for HIS Glory. Thanks for the inspiration and so happy for u i still have a bit to go it has been 5 days w out nothing but 11 days w out narcotics i can only count 5 tho cuz i took 10 tramadol over the weekend so i count my time off EVERYTHING. Keep it up and keep looking to HIM He will guide u blessing to u:)
Avatar universal
laurel453: enjoy..that's a nice word. It's been a long time since I 've really enjoyed doing anything..it's true. I intend to start enjoying many things...The colors of Autumn, the brisk air...there is much to enjoy now that the opiates aren't my priority.

Atthebeach: Thank you friend for your kindness, your many prayers..all the support from the first day ((((Debbie)))))

Gnarly: aka Mark, you know I'm always 'borrowing your sayings..they have helped me so much. Reading all that you have gone through and have made it to the otherside, the # of people you are helping here, you are such an inspiration. Your testimony is profound.

Newlifeahead: Yes indeed..a new life. you said it so well. "the grace of God and Jesus in my life IS what keeps me going i can get back into serving for HIS Glory." When I was doing the Will of our Lord...it was the most rewarding, happiest time of my life. I want that back. His Will is always (obviously :/ ) better than mine. :)
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