My fiancee has been a long time user of heroin, about 15 years. He's only 30 now. My story and questions stem from a fairly unique situation. My fiancee was born with nerve damage, missing vertebra, and had a flesh eating disease very young which caused more natural pain and nerve damage. He has used off and on through his whole life wether it was pain pills or heroin. 3 months ago he fell off the wagon and started shooting heroin again. He detoxed and got clean and stayed clean for two months, and then I had to go away on business for a whole month. Within a week of me being away things started to get weird again. I wouldn't hear from him for hours, he would sleep all day long, was very moody and his emotions were irrational and sometimes unusually angry. He claimed he was clean, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt until I got home. The night I got home I found a bad of heroin paraphernalia. Used needles, a spoon that was ours, bloody tissues, lemon juice, everything but the drug itself. He claims it was a junkie friend who was over, which is a whole issue in itself - why are you hanging out with a junky and trying to stay sober?? I've been home only 2 days and I've found way more evidence like empty balloons, more bloody tissues, etc. etc. Not to mention the fact that he spends about an hour to an hour and a half twice a day in the bathroom. He still claims he is clean. He has a prescription for buprenorphine and I count the pills every day to make sure hes taking them. It looks like he is, but I've heard different things about that drug too. He won't go to counseling saying it doesnt help and also the fact that he has been a drug counselor himself, he knows all the psychological tricks...
1. How many times can someone fall off the wagon before a loved one should give up and leave?
2. Can you " chip off" and inject your buprenorphine while using? (he claims his prescription would make his very sick if he was using)
3. What is a safe, non-offensive, non-accusing way of approaching him about this? (I tend to do it all wrong and get angry and frustrated)
4. What can he do to prove hes clean?
Sorry for the lengthy story, I'm just confused, paranoid and still traumatized and not over the abuse prior. Please help. I have nobody to go to about this.