I know what your going through right now. I too had back surgery almost a year ago and have been in recovery since. I had four levels done (back fusion) and realized when I stopped taking my hydro's for 8 days straight, that I really didn't need them for pain, simple tylenol and moltrin worked fine. The first couple days of w/d's I had aches and pain and thought, I really need my hydro's, but as day 4 and 5 came around, the pain I was having was tollerable with reg moltrin. I know its hard especially when we are in legitimate pain. funny how these pills control our every thought, and consume our minds. We think, we need these pills to survive our daily lives and do our normal activities, but it's not true, Don't think about next 16 days (I know easier said then done) but try to keep busy, try to sleep most of the time, do some exersise light walking the next couple of days are going to be tough, hang in there you can do this, who knows maybe after 8 days or so, simple tylenol or moltrin might be enough for you too.
your withdrawls should only last 7-10 days. The emotional part usually lasts a bit longer. Don't u think its worth it to end this once and for all? Seize this opportunity to make a life changing decision. all the best.
PArt of me is glad that this happens, as I have wondered for a long time how much of my pain was real and how much of it was related to the vicodin cycle. 16 days should tell me for sure. I sit here watching the clock, constantly thinking, how can I make 16 days and wishing I just had 16 pills, so I could have half in the morning and half in the evening to get through it, nd that signals to me I have a problem. I know I can get some, and if I have a major flare up I will likely have to, but I hope I dont. I really want to know is it the pills or the back or a combo of both. I have been reading the posts of others here, and I cant imagine taking the amounts that many say they take, but wonder was I going down that road. My neurosurgeon assurred me over and over the past 4 years that if you are really in pain then you cant get addicted, but I am not so sure anymore. While I m in mild to moderate pain at the moment I focus more on getting the pills again (both as I want them and also for fear of a flare up (when I have a major flare up, I start walking with a pronounced limp and the pain shoots down the leg like a lightning bolt, at present it is just in the back, and the leg feels numb and uncomfortable, and the pain is secondary. I also wonder/worry what will happen when the 16 days are up, do I go back to the cycle, will my body be reset and I will only need 1 to 2 pills a day again for pain, I hope the latter. I must admit that the euphoria felt good and I would take a bit more to get it, and the times of a bit more has expanded especially in the last year, which has now resulted in this forced 16 day of cold turkey. I just wish the constant thinking of getting pst the 16 days and getting the pills again will go away. I have looked at that script several times, thinking maybe I misread it, of course I know didnt, but yet I still do. It ***** knowing that my back is a wreck, with a multitude of other problems besides the herniation, and dont want to have this balancing act forever. I hope toomanytimes72 that in a week or so that tylenol or motrin will do the trick, or at least my daypro and muscle relaxers, I guess we will see. The euphoria is fun, but the price is too damn high.
I wish the others on here well and that they can conquer this. I also that people for responding and reading, it is good to have an outledt.
If you had 16 pills left would you really be able to take 1/2 in the morning and 1/2 at night? I know I wouldn't. Sixteen would be gone in a day and a half--two at the most. And then I'd be freaked out about how I was gonna get through the other 14 days. Also, how many times have you run short in between your RX's? The answers to those questions could probably tell you if you're addicted. As addicts we can fool ourselves into believing almost anything to justify why we have to take them. I think it's actually a bit harder for those of us who started out taking them for actual pain cause we could simply say "Well I'm being prescribed these by my doctor. Therefore it's legal and I'm doing what I need to do for my pain."
You know, sooner or later if the pills don't kill you, you'll have to stop. Why prolong the inevitable? It is tough, but doable to go c/t from this awful drug. But you really have to want to stop more than you want to simply "make it through" to your next script.
There are wonderful people here that can offer you support, advice, and their experience, strength and hope. There are others who have been clean years who can give you a glimpse of what the rewards will be living clear-headed without the "opiate cloud" threatening to rain down on you at any moment. Right now it may seem unimaginable but stick around. Keep reading, posting, venting--whatever you need to do to get you through this. We're all here rooting for you.
Get some rest. Look at the health pages to the right of this site (Thomas recipe & Amino Acid Protocol) and see if you're willing to get some of these items to help you through. And if you're a praying person throw some up to God or whomever your higher power is...
Keep us posted on how you're doing.
I know exactly where you are coming from!! I too am prescribed medication (Lortab 7.5/500) for my medical diagnosis of Rheumatoid Arthritis. 8 days ago I too ran out of my script of 240 pills a month before I could fill again... Honestly, it was a blessing in disguise!!!
I was first diagnosed with RA when I was 19 yrs old (I am now 29). I used pain killers only as needed during the first 7 years of my disease (2 pills a day, sometimes 6 pills a day if needed) then stopped taking them for about 1 1/2 years. At the end of the first 7 years of taking the pills I did a taper off of the Lortab for about a week. Honestly, I felt like **** that whole week that it made me not want to ever take another Lortab again. Fast forward 1 1/2 years, I started having a lot of Arthritic pain in my hands that I needed to start taking steroids (Prednisone) as well as the Lortab again. This was okay at the beginning but to compensate for the pain and get off of the Prednisone I started taking more Lortab. I hate being on Prednisone, you gain weight that is impossible to get rid of unless you stop the medication. I am not going to lie, I am a very "vain" person and did have an eating disorder when I was in high school so any weight gain still gets me from time to time. Needless to say, I would have done anything to get off of the Prednisone no matter how much pain I was in!!! So, I started upping my Lortab count to compensate for the amount of pain I was having. Now almost 2 years later from my 1 1/2 years of not taking any pills at all, I was now taking 14-18 pain killers a day for my "pain." The pills were doing nothing for me anymore, it was more of a psych thing that I felt like I needed to take them daily no matter what to feel right!! Yes, I still did have pain from time to time in my hands/knees but not enough pain to warrent 14-18 pills a day!!! I knew I was abusing and going down the wrong road fast and needed to do something about it fast as well!!! I kept telling myself, next script I fill I am going to taper down and get off... Yeah, that never happened!! I would continue to take the 14-18 pills a day.
As I stated, 8 days ago my script ran out. I tried to refill my RX but this time around the Pharmacist would not refill the RX one week early. I usually get my RX one week early and this was a new Pharmacist who would not do this for controlled drugs (good for her!!). I truly thank her now for not filling it although at the time I was pissed beyond belief!!! Let me say this, I am glad I did this w/d cold turkey!! It really was not as bad as the first time around when I tapered!!! The first day was the worst, the second day, I was out and about shopping!!! I still feel somewhat tired from time to time but did start taking vitamins this time around which has helped a lot!!! I am also on Lexapro (for migraine headaches) which I am also thinking is helping me through this and helping with the serotonin levels in my brain. Be sure to take Vitamin B-12 daily, it helps a lot with the energy as well as a good Multi-Vitamin. I have access to Vitamin B-12 injections which I believe has helped a lot with giving me energy during this time around!! Like I said, I was shopping on day two!! I did an injection once a day for seven days as well as take one B-12 pill. Now I am going to do one B-12 injection once a week for 5 weeks then one injection each month after the 5 weeks. I had a Vitamin B-12 deficency to begin with which is why I have access to injections... So for everyone, if you are low on energy during the w/d I would ask your doctor if possible for B-12 injections!!
This time cold turkey has been a God sent for me in my opinion!!! I know this was his way of telling me that I was going down the wrong road and was killing myself!!! 8 days clean!!! I am so proud of myself!!! I honestly feel like going up to that pharmacist and kissing her!!! And you know what else?? Since yesterday, my pills have been sitting at the pharmacy for me to go pick up and I have no desire at all to get them!!! And I am not going to get them!!
You can do it!!! Take some vitamins and try to get some rest!!! You said you are on muscle relaxers as well?? I took one soma (muscle relaxer) that I had the first two nights of my w/d to help relax me and let me sleep and to help with the restless legs that opiate w/d can cause. So if you can't sleep, try taking a muscle relaxer it should help some.
PS: I am a graduate nurse, am taking my test in a month to become an actual RN (hopefully I pass)!! Anyway, with that said, I knew all of the bad I was doing to my body esp. to my kidneys and liver!!! Please everyone if you are using at Un-Godly amounts (like I was) stop!!! This has def. been a personal test of power for me that I am surprised I am excelling in!!!
Sorry so long, just wanted to share!!! I found this forum 8 days ago and spent my whole first day of w/d reading everyone elses stories on here. This forum helped me a lot through these first 8 days. I knew I had to sign up today after reading your post to tell you that if I can do it, you can do it!!! Also, I have never seen my mom happier!! It brings a tear to my eye seriously... She is so happy that I stopped taking the Lortab. She knew I was killing myself... She is a nurse too.
Thanks everyone :)
Actually this is the 1st time that I have run out early between prescription, but I came close a few times, I would adjust the intake in the week or days prior. I would always be out the day of the of teh appointment though.
When I upped my prescription in Dec from 3 a day to 4 a day, I remember thinking when i was driving home that this is great, this is more than enough, now I can start to wien myself down, maybe not completely, but back to 2 a day. Alas, things were rough past few months, lost a lot of money in the market, had 2 major flare ups, and next thing I knew I was taking 4 a day and on other days 5, and given that I am 16 days in the hole, one can see I screwed up by taking too many (5) a day on 64 of the 90 day supply and now I am paying for it.
As for the other question if i had 16 pills would I split one a day (1/2 in the morning and half at night) until the new prescription, I think I would try, I would definitely not take them all in two days as you asked (I am concerned that I am going down that road though), the worse would be 4 days (4 a day) but likely 10 days at a minimum. PLEASE TELL ME, AM I AN ADDICT? I just dont know, but I know I dont want to be, but also I dont want to be in pain. I do think I am going down the road of a major problem, and I feel for the people who post here as I have been reading so many of them today, I just dont know what to say. I feel selfish about that, but I am so scared and self absorbed right now, I am sorry.
I appreciate the kind reples. I agree I dont want to be on these forever, I really want my second surgery, fix this damn new herniation and feel better, like I did right after my 1st surgery an before I reherniated.
Swandive - Great for you, I really hope I can tell the same story in 8 days or even 17 day. I still think about when I will be picking up the prescription. Thanks for the vitamin suggestion, I didnt think of that and will take a multi and I think my wife has some b12 so I will take them too, right after I post this. I will add that I admire you.
As an update, I was able to take a 2 hour nap late afternoon. I slept well and when I first woke up, for 10 seconds, I felt no pain, no cravings, just peace, then the pain kicked in and what was worse a strong desire for a vicodin. So far tonight I am having a rough time. I started getting very emotional, depressed about my life and things that have gone by while I worked so hard for my family and the things I missed. This lasted for a half hour and it sucked but at least I wasnt thinking about pain or vicodin. I have to be in the office tomorrow, and I dont know how I will be able to do it. I am a boss, and people will be looking to me, they will see something is not quiet right, but at least if I get through tom, I am out of the office Thursday and Friday on business, but with limited interaction with people, so I will be ok. Next week in all week, that will be hard, but I am hoping that come Monday I will feel much better. I am constantly thinking what if this pain gets real bad, what will I do, I cant take the limping pain too long, especially not until March 11 (my prescription actually can be filled March 10, but I will be out of state the whole day on planes (which will suck big as plane rides really kill me). Anyway, I am not really eating, I tend to be urinating a lot, and the diarria is an annoyance. I am feeling anxious, still mild to moderate pain, and I am just so cold (I have read that peopel get hot flashes, not me, just cold, and I am never cold).
I am sorry for rambling so much here, it makes me feel better and I appreciate all of you who take the time to red an d reply. I feel like such a fool
Hey Again Bill :)
I know it's hard right now but you can get through it. If I can, anybody can. The first seven days of w/d are the worst. If you can make it past 7 days even 4 days I promise you will be feeling a lot better w/d wise!! For me, the first day was the worst physically and the second day from then on just got better. I am still a little tired from time to time and will sometimes get a slight headache but tylenol takes it away. I really do believe that the vitamins have helped a lot. There is a thing called "Thomas Receipe" on this site that is like a protocol to folllow for w/d's. It does suggest more vitamins to take. I personally haven't looked at it though. If you do look at it just make sure none of the vitamins or supplements interact with any medications you may be on now!!
Are you taking any other medications for your back/pain?? From what you are writing it seems like you do have actual legitimate pain that can keep you from functioning properly daily. Because you do not have anymore actual pain medication left for your pain do you have anything else you can take?? Like an anti-inflammatory of some sort?? Would an NSAID like Ibuprofen help with your pain relief?? Have you tried anything like that yet?? I don't want you to be in soooo much pain that you can not walk or function from it. That would be horrible and hard to deal with at your job as well. And we all know that added stress does increase your pain level as well. Try some different relaxation techniques as well such as taking a hot bath, deep breathing exercises. I know that might seem kooky right now but it does help some.
I also feel in my opinion that a lot of the w/d process is a mental thing. Yes it ***** and it is hard to get through but try doing other things to get your mind off of thinking about actual w/d's. I have been watching a lot of movies this past week and reading books.
Opiate w/d do cause depression and bring out a lot of strong feelings/emotions. The first few days I too had some crying spells for no reason at all. I am still having diarrhea and loose stools as well. Not as bad as the first day though!! You need to get some Imodium to help with that especially tomorrow since you will be at work. The Imodium will help to relax you and let you rest easier w/o having to get up and go to the bathroom all of the time. Only take the Imodium if really needed though!! It is somewhat good to go to the bathroom to get the toxins out of our system. You don't want to get dehydrated from all of the diarrhea though. Be sure to drink lots of fluids because of this such as Gatorade, H20, OJ, things of that nature. And like I said already take the multi-vitamin and a vitamin B-12 pill as well. Also, I know you said you have no appetite but be sure and try to eat as well. Eat soups and stuff at first that are easy on the stomach. You are going to be okay Bill!!! If you have anymore questions, just ask.
BTW, I don't have any advice for being cold. It is all part of the process. I have been super cold the last 8 days too and I am always hot never cold just like you!! I have been bundled up in sweats and blankets everywhere!! I even have been going out during the day like that here in 80 degree weather in Texas!! First time ever that I have been cold and not hot!!
Only you can determine if you're an addict. You do have some of the same tendancies that addicts have however....You could be headed for trouble if you continue as you have been. I think Swan gave you some excellent advice. Perhaps you'll be able to take some of her suggestions to help you through this.
I hope your trip goes well and you do not suffer too much discomfort. Please keep us posted.
Well it is day 3, much different then yesterday. First off, my pain is only mild today, thank God. Swan, yes I do take several other pills for my back pain, anti-inflamatories (daypro) and skelaxin for muscle relaxation. I have been directed to take all of these every day, but unlike the pain pills, I took daypro only when I had a flare up, it brought be back down in 4-7 days, to the level of pain I was used to and then I would stop and just continue with the vicodin regiment. Since the loss of the vicodin, I have been taking the anti inflamatories (3 a day instead of the prescribed 2, still petrified of a flare up). I think that is what is keeping the pain at mild, I should have done that all along, but didnt as the vicodin was enough I would not have been able to tell the difference. Skelaxin I take only when I get the feeling of major tightness in the back, which is not that much, maybe 8 a week, instead of the 24 prescribed. I did take a few last night, as it was real bad. The reslestless leg syndrome killed me last night, finally fell asleep at 4 only to have to get up at 6. Laid back down (had to call out of work today, I couldnt face it) for an 1 1/2 hours. i am so tired. The skelaxin didnt do a thing, I really wanted a vicodin last night just so I could sleep.
Still have no appetite, I do force food here and there. Diarrhea is still there. Yesterday there was a a strong desire to have vicodin, today it is different, it is like I miss it like a friend. Kinda weird, huh. Not as cold today, still emotional, very sad. Stupid things set me off, seeing an old thing lying around the house brings back strong memories and it makes me feel very sad. This is not like me, I am a strong willed person, my family, not just my immediate family but my whole family look to me for strength, I feel like I have let them down. I dont want anyone to know, not sure how long I can keep it from my wife. This dependence on me, is what scares me so much Rue of being an addict. I read the stories here of people taking so many pills every day and doing all sorts of things to get them, and while I had read them in articles, I thought wow that is just overexageration, and if not it is just a handful of people who do it and I would never be one. Then I read all of these people's stories and I realize I was wrong in my assessment, it happens to a lot of people and it could happen to me, and I was going down that road, a road I cant go down. Every minute that goes by increases my thought that this forced withdrawal is a fork in the road for me. A way to test how much I need those damn pills. Hell if I can get through this with minimal pain by using my anti inflamatories, then I wont need the pills, every day, or maybe just at night so I can sleep, but maybe I will luck out and even the restless leg syndrome will disappear and then i would only need the pills for flare ups. I still want my surgery, I am tired of having to take pills.
Thank you both for your replies. And swan, thank you especially, your journey is so much like my own, and I think of you often, it gives me hope, something we all need mentally and emotionally above all else. Thank you for singing up and responding to my post it has helped me tremendously.
Keep fighting. The RLS will go away and you will not need vicodin for that. I didn't experience too much of that during my w/d but I had severe depression, I was freezing and sneezing (WTF?) and I can also relate to the burdening sadness. But that, in time, gets better too. I also went through w/d alone. There was no one I could tell and my husband would not have understood and he would have given me hell.....so I read the posts here daily and used that as my strength.
I wish you the best and hope that as these 16 days go by, you'll discover the direction you need to go....
Keep us posted. All the best.
Thanks Rue, you sound like you were in the same boat as I am vis-a-vis spouse. She would not be supportive at all, I would never hear the end of it, so best to struggle through this alone. How long have you been off it? What was your underlying injury? Are you still experiencing problems?
To Swan- Good for you that is AWESOME.
Bill- Did you mention to your dr that you ran out too soon?
I know this is hard, especially with having pain. Most of us on here started taking pain meds for true pain and it can just get out of control for some of us. I believe it is a normal feeling to miss them I know I did your brain is telling you that you need it. My daughter is 16 and has a script for Lortab which is my DOC and she has had it for almost 4 weeks and I have stayed completely away from them. I would have thought it would bother me more. It has been 6 1/2 months for me and I will continue to avoid them because the w/d is still fresh in my mind and I never want to feel that way again. Could you try messages, PT, Chiro, acupuncture, or walking some to help your back? If you have tried anything else did it help you? Best of luck to you. If you fill your script when it is time take only as needed and when it is severe pain, even people that do not become addicted can develope a dependancy to them and have to up the dose for relief. If you want to stop it can be done, I know the pain s**** but most people on here will tell you for them (and myself) once your off the pills the pain is not as bad as you thought and usually can be managed with OTC meds. I need to have surgery (female issues) but I am putting it off because I do not want to take the pills. I do hope you feel better soon and are not in too much pain.
I hope you have success with getting off of these, whether thru this forced wd and then hopefully able to control your pain without opiates or with the surgery you mentioned.
I wanted to mention that there is a natural RLS remedy that many people here have mentioned that might help you with that.
As the wife of an addict (or suspected addict) I sincerely hope you are able to get off of these.
Sunny: No i didnt tell him, I didnt realize that he put do not fill till 3/10 on the prescription until after I left. I debated calling him about it, and even though it is hard, I want to know I can beat this and hopefully wont need any when the prescription becomes available, or at a minimum only when I have a flare up, heck I would be satisfied I just needed one when I sleep to deal with the restless leg syndrome, but maybe I wont need that. I will never know unless I do this. Yesterday the desire for the pills was consuming, today I just feel so tired and time is going so slow. Staying home may have been a bad idea, at least if I was at work then there would be things to occupy my mind. Tom and Friday I have meetings that I must attend, long car rides are required for both that I am afraid of (car rides always kill me) but hopefully time will fly better. Sitting here is driving me nuts, I want to crawl out of my skin.
Heather: Good for you. Nothing works, the neurosurgeon just wants me to wait and see if my body reabsorbs the herniation. I am tired of waiting. When this over, I will now know for sure what my pain is on average and what effects the daypro have on it (of course I dont want to be on daypro for the rest of my life). If it is a moderate level of pain (I am mild today which is great) then I will demand the surgery, or if I start to follow the same path again that has lead me to where I am now (i dont want to go through this again and I dont want to be taking 10 plus pills a day at all, no way). After my 1st surgery I felt great until I reherniated, the good news has been the reherniation pain, even with flare ups, is never as bad as it was with that first surgery.
Thank you. There have been so many kind comments here, it is helping a lot. I will have to look into that RLS natural remedy, I cant go on with 2 hours sleep a night. The kids will be home by 3 and hen I will take a nap, and I hope I can sleep through the night tonight, I am exhausted. I wish you are your husband well
I know this plain s****! I hope you feel better soon.
I have 278 days or so off percocets about 6-8 7.5 mgs a day give or take 8 years or so. I have herinated disks in lower back. That's how it started, but I began to abuse about 5 years into taking them and convinced myself I wasn't really abusing, I just needed to take them to "cover" my pain. I still have pain and if I don't stretch or take care when moving it becomes worse where the motrin doesn't help much. I still crave, but not like I used to and my depression has gotten somewhat better. I've never actually been a up-beat person....that's another sotry in itself.
Some days are harder than others but none have been better than the last 278!
I wish you the best. Dig deep to figure it out. If you do decide to end the opiate use it can be done. There are tons of wonderful people here to offer support.
I am happy to hear that today is a little better at least!! Three days is AMAZING so far!!! It is only going to get better each day, remember that!!! I woke up today with a headache but I think it was just a sinus headache b/c it went away after I took some Tylenol. I haven't had any Arthritic pain at all except for a little morning stiffness in the last 9 days (9 days now!!) so I am grateful for that as well. The insomnia will get better with each night. It has for me. I am now sleeping pretty much through the night from about 1:30am to 9am. Still not a good "codeine" sleep, I toss and turn a little, but that is fine with me!! I know my body is still adjusting to the deep 10+ hours of deep sleep that codeine used to give me. But now I am up in the am not waisting the day away sleeping and actually studying for my test and getting other things done instead of sleeping all day long. You know what else I have realized is that I am not angry anymore these last few days!! I have always been the type of person who is really caring and cares deeply for others but never took care of myself and always hated a lot of things about myself. These last few years I have not wanted to be around other people, just wanted to stay home and not talk to anyone and lay in bed all the time... I have never really been an outgoing person to begin with though. I don't like to go out to bars, I don't drink or do any other drugs. Anyway, I now realize the pills were affecting my relationships with my friends and my boyfriend. I feel like I am finally getting my life back and am no longer in that withdrawn opiate haze!! Things are only going to get better Bill.
Def. take the Daypro (anti-inflammatory) if it is helping!!! That is what it is for!! Be careful not to take over the prescribed amount though b/c NSAID's can have bad side effects if taken too much over a long period of time. You are being monitored by your doctor while on these drugs which is great because you need to have tests done (blood) to make sure you are not doing harm to your internal organs while on these drugs. NSAID's can cause stomach bleeding and perforation (forming of a hole) if taking in high amounts over a period of time so make sure and tell your doctor if you are noticing any blood in your stools or vomiting up blood. This only occurs when taken in massive amounts (I don't want to scare you!!) Also make sure not to take more than one NSAID at a time. So take your Daypro but don't take Ibuprofen with it!! I take an anti-inflammatory called "Mobic" for my pain when needed and it helps a lot!! So yes, the Daypro should be helping you at least some.
The restless leg syndrome is part of the w/d process of coming off of the opiate (Vicodin). It will not stay around. Once again it is part of the w/d process. This is not something you will have to worry about long term and you will not need to take a Vicodin to stop it. Restless leg syndrome for me only lasted 2 days. I took Soma which is like Skelaxin to help the first two days with that. I know you said the Skelaxin did not help you much with that. Maybe you could try taking some Tylenol PM at night to help you sleep?? If you do decide to do this, don't take the Tylenol PM with any other sedatives you might have such as the muscle relaxer. This can depress your respiratory system too much and that would not be good. Sorry, I know I am rambling on!!! The nurse part of me is coming out!!! I just want to inform you and make sure you and everyone is safe!! Also, someone mentioned an OTC Restless Leg Medication?? If you do look into this, make sure the medication does not interact with any other medications you are taking!!! I am guessing the OTC Restless Leg Medication is also a sedative of some sort so just be careful please!!!
If you do decide to fill your script in 16 days or you decide to call your doctor Bill that is up to you. I think you are pretty aware of how you are feeling right now but I know "real" pain is a killer!!! If you do get more pills, take them just when you REALLY need them. Don't take them just to take them like I was doing. This is how you get into trouble!!!
Keep posting Bill and remember it is just going to get better!!! I promise!!!
BTW, So I have decided after I take the NCLEX and pass my test and become a licensed RN I want to work in addiction recovery. Psych was actually my favorite nursing class/clinical and I really think I can help and really understand what an "addicted" person is going through esp. b/c I have been there and have come out of it and am still fighting it...
"i'm going to go ahead and go boldly because a little bird told me
that jumping is easy, that falling is fun
right up until you hit the sidewalk, shivering and stunned"
-From the song "Swan Dive" by Ani DiFranco
btw, Rue also mentioned that she was sneezing a lot during her w/d. Sneezing and yawning are also part of the process of opiate w/d. Sneezing is another way of your body trying to get the toxins out. Yes, I have been sneezing a lot too!! And Bill if anyone asks what is wrong with you, just tell them you have the flu!!! Opiate w/d mimic flu symptoms.
day 3 here today too. Whew this is hard **** to kick, but we are doing it right? Im here if you even wanna chat. These forums are better then anything you will find anywhere. I owe my life to this site. NO QUESTION
I hope everything is a little better today Bill!! Hopefully you are working today and are able to put your mind elsewhere other than just on w/d's!! Hopefully things are better today. You are on my mind for sure. Wishing you the best still!!
Well its the end of day 4 and I am in moderate pain today. My leg is numb and back hurts. Had a meeting and was in the car for a total of 4 hours, cars are the worst for me, the position pushes the herniation harder on the nerve. Had 2 bouts of major anxiety, and funny thing I am sneezing, which I just read in earlier replies is another symptom. I am not sleeping, havent been this wide awake in I dont know how long. RLS driving me crazy at night, and both bouts of anxiety were right after I woke up, from my big 3 hour night's sleep and an hour nap when I came home. Have a bit more energy this evening, but am getting fearful that I will have a major pain flare up and the daypro wont stop it. I decided that if I do I will call the pain management specialist and fess up that I ran through my 90 day supply of 4 a day, 16 days early. I dont want to do that, but with 12 days left till the prescription if a major flare up happens soon (ie in the next 8 days, if it happens in the last 4 I will just deal with it), then I wont have a choice. Scared about tom, will have another long car ride of 4 hours total, that could push me over the edge. If I survive it, I should be home free, next week I am in the office all day every day, no major driving, and I am keeping an eye on the weather, sudden weather swings can throw me into a major flare up. The last hurdle will be the 10th of March, the actual day the refill is available, as I have flights in the morning and a return trip in the afternoon, and just like cars, sitting in a plane kills me. However, I decided to get the prescription picked up as I leave for the airport, so the anxiety of a major flare up happening on that day is now not a worry, and its an important business trip so a flare up, on the day that my refill comes due, would suck. I am not having the mental cravings for the vicodin that I was having the past three days (other than the anxiety, but that is a panic feeling not a desire for the vicodin), so that is good. I think I will still need teh vicodin when thsi is over, but I WILL NOT LET IT GET OUT OF HAND AGAIN AND I WILL BE GOING BACK TO THE SUREON AND DEMANDING THE SECOND SURGERY. I dont want to be on pills forever. This has been quite a wake up call.
I may have made a mistake last night, I told my wife about what was happening and as expected she was not supportive and scolded me, that just made matters worse, I also told my Mom, which I didnt want to do, she is old and has enough problems, but I was selfish and needed someone to turn to. She is supportive. Not cold anymore, but getting quick hot flashes here and there, but way better than the constant cold.
Thanks everyone for your support and swan good for you on your career choice.
Good to hear from you today Bill!!
Sorry to hear that you are in moderate pain, I know that must suck!! I can imagine how horrible the car rides/plane trips are for you!! Sitting for such long periods at one time are horrible for people with back injuries!! My dad hurt his back many years ago while he was on the job and long car rides kill him still to this day too. He did have 2 surgeries as well mannnnyyyy years ago that helped a lot with his back so def. talk to your doctor about the surgery!! If you are in legitimate pain Bill I say call your doctor and let him know that you lately have been needing to take more pain pills than usual to alleviate your pain and that you are out. Then he/she will also know the extent of pain that you are in and that your current treatment needs to be adjusted and a possible surgery might very well be needed!! Don't feel bad about it, I know that is easier said than done but right now you are so worried about having a flare-up and you know you don't have any pills to help ease the pain that it is causing you un-needed anxiety. And any added stress/anxiety can cause a flare-up!! You really don't need the added stress right now!! Next script, just do like you said, and take them only when you truly need them. I know this has been somewhat of a wake-up call for you that you will always remember and know the answer to.
Sorry to hear about your wife not being as supportive... It can be hard to hear, I know... My boyfriend was very upset with me as well when he found out I was taking my pills just to take them and not just for when I was actually in pain. He was also mad b/c I was hiding the fact that I was taking way more than needed from him. We had a long conversation and he is supportive and glad that I am off of them!! Your wife will get over it too and stick by your side I am sure. In sickness and in health right??!!
Glad you are still posting and you are in my prayers every day :)
PS: Today was actually a bad day for me too!! It started out great but now I am exhausted beyond belief!! I had to take care of my little 2 year old niece today and she ran me to the ground!!! I am soooo tired right now!!! I am going to take a shower and pass out hopefully within the next few hours!! First I will lay in bed and watch a movie and just veg out though!! I am so tired I don't think I can even wash my hair at the moment!!