To the few of you that have corresponded with me over the past several days, I want to thank you. It seems that I'm on the wrong message forum since I'm not an opiate addict. I'll look elsewhere but I want to wish all of you veteran posters and newcomers the best of luck with your addiction and recovery. Stay strong.
I'm Out
Virginia Gurl
Please let me know if you find a site regarding our particular addiction. I have yet to find one.
I find this forum very supportive even though it is mainly opiate addiction the behaviours and feelings that we struggle with as addicts are the same.
Please take care of yourself
Golden Slipper
I have never thought of this board as being strickly for Opiate users. I think that opiates are abused more than benzos, so that's what you see mainly. But you both are 'two' benzo users right here, so stick around, i'm sure you will see some more benzo users come along shortly.
Addiction is addiction, and it doesn't really matter what our drug of choice is, no one is better or worse than the other, and they all have some very common problems linked to the general abuse itself.
Good luck to you both.
Lv Jenny
thanx hippy but the fiuricet isn't benzo's. it's butalbital which is a barbiturate along with tylenol and caffeine. But i have been to the benzo.org site also and read up on those too.
hydromorphone is Dilaudid, basically pharmaceutical heroin. I understand that a continuous release form of hydromorphone is available or soon to be.
It does come in a time release capsule,hydromorph contin.
3 mgs,6 mgs,12 mgs,24 mgs and 30 mgs.It is new and has been on the market since Jan.2002.It is usually only prescribed to cancer patients but you know how that game is played,
peace,
Bill
Sorry, I said Skipper, I meant JSmith02 and Allisa.
Bill
..i think you were to visit doc yesterday afternoon?
how'd it go?
..i'll be off-line till tomorrow
ok everyone:
been posting here awhile... not as long as thomas...about 6 months
longer than jessesarpy...been a junky for over 30 years..
'bout that dilaudid (hydromorphone). nothing beter than a blue (5
mg oxymorphone) and a 1/16th (4 mg hdromorphone) administered iv
(of course).
i equate all junk to it's strength compared to 1/4 grain (15 mg)
hypo tabs administered iv. so a 1/16 grain of dilaudid is roughly
eqivlent to 1/4 grain of morphine (if your shootin" it). it gets
more difficult to quantify morphine orally as the gi tract des-
troys morphine as quickly as it gets by the blood/brain barrier.
i'ld guess that chewing up an 80 of oxy-c is asbout like shooting
up 1/2- 3/4 grains of morphine. at the peak of my using an iv shot
of morphine sufate anywhere from 100mg to 200 mg would set me back
with a good rush and an evening full of nods. i've never shot up
oxy as my veins are long gone...
did that clear it up for anyone?
keep an angel on your shoulder
kip
I remember good old K4's.That was back in the 70's,man a couple of K4's and you had a good nod for the evening.Reading your posts reminds me of my youth.We had all the fun one can imagine
with these drugs you mentioned earlier.Man,I'm having flashbacks here.
peace,
bmac
Yes I saw the doc and he wants me to start taking MS contin.
Can you believe after the past month a doctor wants me back on opiates and even though he knows of my problems I have had getting off.He told me that too many people are obsessed
with addiction.Boy,he nailed me.He says addiction to narcotics while under the care of a good doctor won't be a problem.
I got back to my van and had a good laugh.I did do something I haven't done in awhile.I smoked a joint and man for about 30 minutes I didn't think about this **** at all.Why is it I can take tons of morphine but I can't smoke pot.This laws in this country are really stupid.Anyway I haven't made my mind up yet about using again.My pain doc is out of town until Oct 1st so
until then I will remain opiate free.But hey,who knows maybe I'll find the reeferman instead.
Thanks for asking!
36 days and growing!!
bmac
hi - i looked into that site and meetings in my area. i think i might try one...thanks for the info.
... i guess it's easy to obssess about something that is/has/could consume ones' body and soul!!!! Kind of a natural response...
I really hope things work out for you; in such a short time, you've helped an awful lot of people "pops" haha.(father fig.)
I'll be wishing the least painful surgery and recovery for you.
Thanks,and about the father figure I take that as a compliment.
At 44 I feel I have been there and done it all and to share
my experiences good or bad with you younger people makes me feel like allthis **** I have done is worth it if I can help one person get off this mess.I have been obsessed with withdrawing and the aftermath of it.My surgeon told me yesterday that
being so obsessed over narcotics can be as bad for me as taking them.He said look at some of the people in NA.They get so
obsessed with never ever taking anything that when they get
cancer they refuse narcotics and die a terrible death.One of his
patients had cancer and had been in NA for 10 years and was totally against even taking Advil.He watched this guy die a death that was totally unnecessary.He did add that he believes in NA but not the point of being obsessed.I got his point.
He said after my surgery that the day I go home if I still feel so against narcotics he can run Narcane thru me.That would stop all the opiates in me,but hey,I'm not stupid I will do what I have to do.I will always have you guys.And that has given me more support than any doctor could,
Thanks
bmac
Narcane is something the detox centers use to detox people
overnight.My wife says they use it in surgery when they have to give narcotics to people that have never taken such strong of a drug.When they wake up from surgery and they have that euphoric
feeling, it scares them.So they put narcane into their iv's to
stop that feeling.Man,what's their problem(just kidding)not
really.I am just afraid of getting back to where I was two months ago,but I think my being afraid is just that little mindgame we as addicts always play in our minds.
thanks,
bmac
allisa:
you will probably be ok taking 4 mg. of dilaudid (hydromorphone).
maybe if you waited for a day off from work. did you say it was in
suppository form? are you from canada? canadians see to have a lot
of medicine in suppository form...whats up with that? reminds me of
the old Lenny Bruce joke about seconal suppositorys (yur atheleep
before you can get your finger out of your ath)
the levo you refer too is a c-2 narcotic called levo dromorian
(levo phanol) this is one narcotic i've never run across. i think
british doctors like it as it has very low sedative propertys
keep an angel on your shoulder
kip
About your post yesterday.About the time released hydromorphine.
That was just fate I guess.I had just come home from a doctors appt.We talked about the fact that they now had it in a time release form.Then I start reading and your post was about it.
Well,I haven't taken hydromorph since the 70's and we called them K4's back then but man I can't imagine taking it everyday.
Talk about nodding off.Well my doctor said they give it to cancer victims but I am sure the pain medicine field is already using it.
peace and thanks for the flashback!
bmac
Allisa,
this is one of your 1st posts(below). You were reaching out for help in my opinion.
Now you are asking about how to take different things. And how you aren't out of control like your friends on coke ect. "What I take is manufactured at least" is something else you said.
Allisa - This is just my humble opinion. Addiction is addiction. I don't care if you take pills or crack. Try not taking anything for 1 week. If you can do that, than you might be alright. But you won't because you are addicted, just like us. Letting your tolerance rise/drop ect,ect, doesn't help, or mean that you have control. This is going to go on until you are really in deep. Then you are going to wish that you would have taken the chance you have here with us to help and support you through getting clean.
I personally really think you are a pretty spunky funny kind of girl.
You aren't going to stay that way on the path you are on. All I am asking is take a look at where you were when you 1st posted and were you are now. If you aren't ready to quit, you won't. When you are, we will be here. Until then be safe and know that you are worth being clean and happy.
I personally have kept a "diary" of my posts to remind myself were I came from. It helps to reread some of the things I was going through just weeks ago. It reminds me that I AM NOT IN CONTROL as long as I am using.
I am just trying to reach out to you. Take it for what it is.
Please don't post back. This was meant "for your thoughts"
Chezz
i see a lot of you guys are doing good today, and im happy for you. almost envious. i was doing good the last three days and then lastnight this guy i know told me to hold out my hand. i had no idea what he was giving me until i looked into my palm. it was a percocet 10. big, fat, yellow, and tempting. i was still going through opiate withdrawl from the hydrocodone and i wanted my body to feel good again so i took half, but it took me like 45 minutes before i decided to eat it, and then that feeling sets in after 30 minutes or so. my body felt better, but mentally i felt even more depressed. it's been really tough for me to stay away from these drugs. i never use to be so bad on them. i would get one for the day and then not take any for weeks and be ok, but i got hooked bad the last go around before this one. and i know i'll never have it like that again. my friend worked for a doctor's office and she was hooked too. we got our drugs straight from the pharmacy. it was a lot cheeper too. all i had to do was pick them up and i got a percentage. we would hit three pharmacy's in one day. picking up for names that weren't even real. then she started selling them and she was making a killing. she got greedy though. she ate anywhere from 16-20 pills a day and managed to make almost a thousand dollars in a week. she charged 5 bucks a pop. she got her jeep cheroke and her house paid off and managed to support mine and her habit. which become a 10 month habit. then one day it was over just like that. she got fired, but the doctor or the pharmacist never pressed any charges. she was lucky and so was i, but we went cold turkey. we had to. they're was no way we could get enough pills to taper a habit like that. the withdrawl was almost ugly. i didn't want to see anybody. not my boyfriend, even though we live together. not my family. no one. the first day was absolute hell. the bad thing is i would have sold my soul to the devil for more pills. so for the last month ive been on and off them and it's hard, but it's not the hell i went through before. i've stocked up on things i need such as, i have 30 valuim, blow pops, lifesavers, heating pad, and multivitamin that i bought yesterday. i don't have enough money for the thomas recipe. so thats out. last time i went through withdrawl i wanted candy so bad........well im out--allisa
Well.... There you have it.
All put into proper perspective.
Thanks Chezz.
Everybody, go read the posts from Wednesday a.m. to now (notice the anger directed at many posters back and forth), and you will see that EVERYBODY had good points, but in the end, the RIGHT thing happened. Someone realized what was right in front of their nose: "I have a problem. I am reaching out. I need help."
That is what this forum is for.
Good day,
Jess
if you need an ear, you can write...
pon
I am never disapointed in you kiddo...there is no room for diapointment among us...just sharing and caring....I'll write you more later.
pon
Nobody is disappointed in you. We are just WORRIED for you. We know how it is to be young and spunky and think we are in control.
Personally I hope the best for you. I want to see you succeed in becoming clean.
Although if you are going to use, we want you to know you are still welcome here too.
Don't worry about Groovy, me or anybody else. Nobody is mad or anything else at you here.
We CARE about you. Using or not. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing. You are going to have ups and downs, and you should be able to come here for support.
Don't let us down. The only way we would be upset, is if you stopped posting. We need your SPUNKINESS.
Chezz
