freaking out but trying

[jusmejen]

Hey everyone. Well four more days and every single remaining pill will be flushed. Yes i am really freaking out. I want so badly just to get this behind me, but do the fact that i am a human, mother with two small kids, wife, professional, and very affraid. I just havent done so yet. I did set a goal, and have a plan in place that i will wake up friday (if i even sleep) and no more pills. That gives me five days to get good and sick while reclaiming my life. I have so many different emotions running through me, and of course the devil is constantly playing tricks with my head. However i have great support in place, picked up all recommended supplies, and i am not going to let anyone or anything stop me! Although i sounds strong and have it together, i have my moments where all i do is cry and doubt myself. There is where this awesome forum comes into play. So many on here have already given me so much inspiration. Thank all so much, not sure i would even be this far without you.
I am truing so hard to stay strong, positive and focused.
Any and all encouragement is welcomed. Thanks again.
Have a great day everyone.

[kyle505]

As stated in the previous posts, and I did the same thing, fearing the detox is almost as bad as the process itself. I'd lay awake at night and think about what was in store; I'd count down the days, fearful of each passing hour. But, when the day came and I flushed my remaining pills, the fear went away. Just like everyone who's gone through detox, I took each stage in stride, posted on this forum, and actually forgot about the fear. I'm looking back (112 days ago) and realize that I did not have to put myself through all that fear and worry. You don't either. You've made the right decision; be proud of yourself and go forward. Keep us posted.

[LeaAnn807]

Hey, sweetie!  Don't be afraid.  Only be afraid if you keep on with it.  Don't fear stopping!  That's the best thing you'll ever do for yourself or your family!  It's funny.  I never was scared to take an elephant dose of pills.  But I was scared to stop it???  Makes no sense, but we still feel that way, right?  It's our identity and all we think about for so long that we are scared of what life holds without the pills.  DO NOT be afraid of this!  You can totally do it, and we'll help you!!! : )  It's gonna be ok.

[minn66]

You could water my lawn with all the tears I've shed in the last few months ;) I figure it is just tear build-up. Letting out all that I kept in for so long. You are going to beat this monster!

[dominosarah]

Let the tears fall, it's okay~~

[jusmejen]

Well way to go guys, have now have me sitting here in tears. Thank you so much for your encouraging words. I will start all vitamins now. Never thought of that, but it makes sence. I feel so stronger after reading all these amazing posts. I am ready to embrace withdrawl, as i know my life is about to change FOEVER!!!!!!

[dominosarah]

Dont be afraid, just take our hand and we will help walk you thru this.  You have a good plan in place so all systems are a go.  You can do this and you will feel so much better.  There is no happy ending with addiction.  It;s time for you now~~sara

[LostNoMore]

You can do this. Your plan is solid. Don't let the fear get to you. I know how that goes and I was right there. Follow through on your plan. Have you started any aminos? DO you have some CAL/MAG/ZINC supplement?
Start that stuff now. get lots of good protein...eggs, whey protein shakes - it has all the material your brain needs to start rebuilding the systems that the opiates put in hibernation. Your attitude is awesome...hang on to that! A good attitude will take you right through this.

[IwillDoThis]

Jen - sounds like you have everything covered and the fear of it is much worse than just doing it.  Try to stay in the moment and not over think things too much right now.  I'm on my way to 90 days Jen and I remember so much just wanting to reach this goal - it has FLOWN by.  Just know that you CAN do this, I believe in you.   Stick to your plan no matter what.  Hugs to you.

[minn66]

I understand that the waiting is almost worse than the actual event. You have your plan and the supplies you need, so you are well prepared. You will do this! I am trying to take my own advice, but try not to think past today. It is so hard, I know! You have all of us here and when the time comes, you'll have the tools to be successful. I'm pulling for you!

[forgottensick]

Hey Jen. Sounds like you got it figured out. Your plan seems sound and I wish you luck.  Many Many people have done it so you can too and you`ll be just fine. The first week will suck, but you`ll get through it. Keep us posted.
Dan

[Pat1956100]

I know how you feel so well.  I was as determined as you and very scared at the same time.  This forum and the wonderful people here got me through it.  I am on Day 5 now of being clean.  It still amazes me to say that.  I will be here for you whenever I can.  You will do this.  Keep posting and asking questions.  We have all been where you are.