I know this is probably not the right forum to ask for help with other stuff than the obvios substance abuse issues, but I have been here for a little while, and I respect most everyones input.
Me and my husband are both addicted to the same drug, we are both tapering down, and it's been about a year that we have been tapering. I got pregnant at 15 (he was 19) and got married at 16 (he 20) it's been 9 years and going on 10. We have had a whole lot of hard times, this addiction included. At first when we decided to get clean and sober we were getting along very well, and it seemed the light at the end of the tunnel was becoming brighter. Now lately it seems we can't even have a normal conversation without it turning into an arguement or full blown fight. I can't even begin to say who's to blame when this happens. We end up saying so much to eachother that we get lost in what the problem was in the first place. I am going insane with confusion. We don't agree on anything. Ideas, beliefs, how we want to live when we are sober and financially equipped again, etc. For example: I came to this site and signed up because it seemed to be a nice place to go for outside support, and all that. Everyone here is going through the same thing as everyone else and I find it enlightening and it helps me get through hard times. Well he don't agree, he thinks it's stupid, he thinks that I shouldn't ask questions or for support, but that I should just be able to read everyone elses stuff. He thinks I am dumb for giving any info to anybody, and he actually threatened to just stop paying for internet so that I can't have the access. I don't understand what is wrong with what I am doing. He is more of a private, personal person and I have dealt, and finally respected that about him. So why can't he do the same for me? Why can't he let me cope the way that helps me, while I let him cope the way he wants. I've told him to checkout the site, and the forums, but he just thinks it's a waste of time.
I don't just want to give up on us, but I am so afraid that once we are off the drugs that we won't work. His views on love and live are not at all like mine, and it seems instead of meeting in the middle he expects me to just give in and face reality that life sucks no matter what.
Am I wrong to be this way?
Is it just the w/d symptoms that are making us snap and fight all the time?
Should I be worried or am I just being selfish and paranoid?
Are our children happier with 2 parents who can't get along, or is it better for them if the parents are seperated yet are friends?
Any words needed, honesty appreciated no matter if I like it or not. I just need a friend right now.
Also I hate that I have to sneak to be on here. So for those of you who wonder why I am not on here for days at a time, well it's because I can't. Please help, and sorry if I should have went to a different forum, but like I said earlier, I like it here.Anything..............................something.........................to help me with my confused thoughts