Getting off decades of pain meds(to Grieving widow)

[lainie56]

I wanted to post this as new so you would see it-I needed someone to ask exactly what you did yesterday-it cleared my own thinking up..

Last year I spent 8 months tapering off Vicodin and percocet. The emotional roller coaster after the physical w/d is harder-way harder. I had surgery in March, 4 days after my father died, my mother and sister and her family have all turned into enemies, telling the rest of the family that I am in denial about my "Drug Problem" and I have still taken on w/d again after surgery meds.

All I can tell you is that I know in the 8 months I was actually feeling recovery (doing therapy with someone who understands this stuff), I actually began to feel hope that I could design the life I wanted-not one controlled by doctors, pharmacies and health insurance companies. I want to travel and move far away-soon. I knew I couldn't if this DEPENDENCY on all of it didn't break, and the only one who could break it was and is me.

I'm completely shaky, wish Father's Day would pass quickly and am asking the universe, spirit and all else I've got to help me come out the other side again.

It'll be the hardest thing you ever do-I may live with a body that feels pain like I do-but I choose to live with THIS pain because I'll be free-not the trapped pain I was in.

So best to you-go for it and be strong.

Lainie

[lainie56]

Your posts made me cry.
I have been going through this feeling very isolated--even friends I talk to on the phone, who are supportive and loving, don't get it, really.
Thanks for the notes and the prayers to you all.
It makes all the difference.
Lainie

[lucyred68]

I am thinking of you too.  from one Cindy to another if you know what i mean. you and Nneedhope are in my thoughts all the time and in my prayers.  we can all do this.. also hopeless whom i call hopeful cause she is doing so well.  we are all going to make it. including you, Lanie.  by the way, you are only the second Lanie i have ever heard of.  my great neice, who is getting married in a week, is named Lanie, too.  it will help me to remember you so i can pray for you.  my memory is still the pits from the methadone, so i need helps to remember.

Lucy

[grievingwidow]

You are so kind to be thinking of me this long as I posted, thank you thank you thank you - you don't know what it means to me even just to see that someone is thinking of me.  I appreciate your support and I will surely be praying for you as you go through your own recovery from  this thing called addiction that could only come from the devil himself.  Thank you again for your help and concern - it means so much.

Love, Cindy

[lucyred68]

I lost my father this last spring too, and i couldn't heal because of the drugs.  i am finally healing, even the day before Father's Day, because i am clean, finally.  you can do this.  i am so sorry that your family has turned against you.  no my idea of true love.  my family has been nothing but supportive.  i am so thankful when i see a note like yours.  stick around in here and you will develop new family, i guarantee.  i'll be praying for you.  

Lucy