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Gipsee Philosophy
VicAddict teases all the time about my self proclaimed philosophy. Yea.. Yea.. I'm a thinker I over analyze everthing to death. Drives everyone around me crazee.
Less than three short weeks ago, I found this forum in a frenzy, but with a plan ... I wanted out of my pill merry-go-round. My story is out here... 5 years of Vics.. started to abuse them the last 6 months or so.. but really started to feel the ick of them @ 9 months ago, which lead to my first Rx for XAnax...Anyway... I know for myself... C/T would be the only way to do this. I also knew if I tried to quit while I was just waiting for a Rx (which never happened to me) I'd always go back when I got that script. Bottom line is I was just ready. Do I hurt from legit pain? Sure I do. My neck is killing me. This nerve pops and I'm a gonner. So I'm really holding my breath hoping that doesn't happen.
C/T is nasty...other than the runs and stomach miserableness those first four days were F***** Ugly and right now are a blurr I truly don't remember much of them.
Someone here at the time was hell bent on sending me to a Methadone Clinic..someone else wrote with other suggestions, I read messages here before I even posted for a whole week. But Again, the bottom line was I was ready.
C/T is not for everyone. I didn't go to the Drs. and say Hey...I want out. I did it on my own..Best way I knew how for better or worse..it's over (continued)
Less than three short weeks ago, I found this forum in a frenzy, but with a plan ... I wanted out of my pill merry-go-round. My story is out here... 5 years of Vics.. started to abuse them the last 6 months or so.. but really started to feel the ick of them @ 9 months ago, which lead to my first Rx for XAnax...Anyway... I know for myself... C/T would be the only way to do this. I also knew if I tried to quit while I was just waiting for a Rx (which never happened to me) I'd always go back when I got that script. Bottom line is I was just ready. Do I hurt from legit pain? Sure I do. My neck is killing me. This nerve pops and I'm a gonner. So I'm really holding my breath hoping that doesn't happen.
C/T is nasty...other than the runs and stomach miserableness those first four days were F***** Ugly and right now are a blurr I truly don't remember much of them.
Someone here at the time was hell bent on sending me to a Methadone Clinic..someone else wrote with other suggestions, I read messages here before I even posted for a whole week. But Again, the bottom line was I was ready.
C/T is not for everyone. I didn't go to the Drs. and say Hey...I want out. I did it on my own..Best way I knew how for better or worse..it's over (continued)
I had some very good support here and made some on-line friendships that I truly hope last a long time. I learned how to ask for help, I whined to you all...somehow there seemed to be people here that went through the process and we came out on the other side OK.
If someone gives this withdrawal thing a legit shot and "picks-up".. don't give up... doesn't mean you can't do it... just means that perhaps you picked the wrong way to do it. Doesn't mean your weak... doesn't mean you are destined for a life of street living buying drugs forever... it just means that this time didn't work.
Maybe Methadone is the way to go for some. This Sub stuff sounds like a miracle way to do it... although, I don't know much about it.
This S**T ruins lives... we read about that every day. Dependancy turns into addiction and then the chase begins, scripts run short, money is spent, and the whole cycle starts all over again. Not the way I want to live...but who does. I'm sure none of us would have said... I wanna grow up to be a drug addict. Shoot.. this stuff is the "in" addiction. Legit pain killers taken over a period of time.. is how it starts to normal, everyday ppl like us, who hold down jobs, work for a living and maintain some semblance of sanity in our lives. We become addicted...bottom line is to take responsibility, don't place blame and fix it however we can.
If someone is not truly ready to throw in the towel and say this is BIGGER THAN ME... they ain't gonna win the battle. Truly. If we make an attempt to get clean and mess up...just start over. Call the Dr., ask someone professionally what to do... go to an AA meeting, whatever it takes do something with a step in the right direction.
My only thing is before I'd trade one drug for another like going to a Methadone clinic to take the place of Vics.. I'd sure want to know what the success rate is and how long I'd have to take another med, etc., and explore the options because now I know ... regular 'ole ppl like us get caught up in ADDICTION. I didn't want to trade one addiction for another, again, C/T was the only way out of this mess for me. It might not work for everyone.
Do I crave? No I am not craving
Am I in the clear. No... I'm not...
Do I feel myself yet... Nope... not that either.
I still can't sleep a whole night w/o help.
I'm still very restless
I'm still having 'bouts of anxiety.
But hopefully this won't last forever.
My point in writing all this is... we don't need to feel like failures because we started to use again. We just need to take another huge step again.
Drs will help. If you are sincere about stopping go to a DR..get some help... if that's not your route go to a Support group meeting get a sponsor and get some help.
Write in a Journal... write to a buddy here.. write about every little incidental thing on your mind... get some help.
Not a one of us found our way to this forum because we were not concerned about W/D. NOT A ONE... whether you got here because you had enough...or whether you got here 'cause your script ran out early... we got here for a reason that was not comfortable.
As long as you are here you are not failing. You are making an attempt to change your life.
XoXo
Gip
If someone gives this withdrawal thing a legit shot and "picks-up".. don't give up... doesn't mean you can't do it... just means that perhaps you picked the wrong way to do it. Doesn't mean your weak... doesn't mean you are destined for a life of street living buying drugs forever... it just means that this time didn't work.
Maybe Methadone is the way to go for some. This Sub stuff sounds like a miracle way to do it... although, I don't know much about it.
This S**T ruins lives... we read about that every day. Dependancy turns into addiction and then the chase begins, scripts run short, money is spent, and the whole cycle starts all over again. Not the way I want to live...but who does. I'm sure none of us would have said... I wanna grow up to be a drug addict. Shoot.. this stuff is the "in" addiction. Legit pain killers taken over a period of time.. is how it starts to normal, everyday ppl like us, who hold down jobs, work for a living and maintain some semblance of sanity in our lives. We become addicted...bottom line is to take responsibility, don't place blame and fix it however we can.
If someone is not truly ready to throw in the towel and say this is BIGGER THAN ME... they ain't gonna win the battle. Truly. If we make an attempt to get clean and mess up...just start over. Call the Dr., ask someone professionally what to do... go to an AA meeting, whatever it takes do something with a step in the right direction.
My only thing is before I'd trade one drug for another like going to a Methadone clinic to take the place of Vics.. I'd sure want to know what the success rate is and how long I'd have to take another med, etc., and explore the options because now I know ... regular 'ole ppl like us get caught up in ADDICTION. I didn't want to trade one addiction for another, again, C/T was the only way out of this mess for me. It might not work for everyone.
Do I crave? No I am not craving
Am I in the clear. No... I'm not...
Do I feel myself yet... Nope... not that either.
I still can't sleep a whole night w/o help.
I'm still very restless
I'm still having 'bouts of anxiety.
But hopefully this won't last forever.
My point in writing all this is... we don't need to feel like failures because we started to use again. We just need to take another huge step again.
Drs will help. If you are sincere about stopping go to a DR..get some help... if that's not your route go to a Support group meeting get a sponsor and get some help.
Write in a Journal... write to a buddy here.. write about every little incidental thing on your mind... get some help.
Not a one of us found our way to this forum because we were not concerned about W/D. NOT A ONE... whether you got here because you had enough...or whether you got here 'cause your script ran out early... we got here for a reason that was not comfortable.
As long as you are here you are not failing. You are making an attempt to change your life.
XoXo
Gip
May I ask a personal ???? What do you do for a living?
You are THE most expressive person I've ever.. NOT met, but met. U r like a female Hemmingway.
Just wondering, your privacy is just that. I respect that.
Lisa
You are THE most expressive person I've ever.. NOT met, but met. U r like a female Hemmingway.
Just wondering, your privacy is just that. I respect that.
Lisa
gip,,,on your way,,what a post,,whewww,,you are soooo right,,,,,,but you are HERE and so are we,,,,I can't match all that but I do agree!!!!! another day,,,,take care,,be strong,,,and love yourself!!!bugzzzz
Thank You. Very Much. Eventually it'll sink in. Water drips on the rock long enough it's gonna make a dent... eventually a hole... L, Nefesh
Hey hun. Extremely nice post. Also the "teasing" about your phylosiphy? Nope never was teasing. I truly enjoy reading your posts. You always make everything seem so much better. It is just a gift you seem to have sweety. I just liked the name I gave it. :) Gips Phylosiphy LOL.
But I do honestly, truly, sincerely love reading what you have to say. I read every one of your posts.
I am so glad you are doing so well! Thanks for keeping us all up Gip. You are truly an inspiration, and I will say that a million times over!!
Love Ya G/F!
But I do honestly, truly, sincerely love reading what you have to say. I read every one of your posts.
I am so glad you are doing so well! Thanks for keeping us all up Gip. You are truly an inspiration, and I will say that a million times over!!
Love Ya G/F!
Yea... you can ask...LOL... don't quite know if I can explain it but...
I "train specialty physicians" to be sales people and teach them how to "sell" themselves. I do seminars plus I write in a bi-monthly magazine that is distributed to surgeons.
Take Care
Gip
I "train specialty physicians" to be sales people and teach them how to "sell" themselves. I do seminars plus I write in a bi-monthly magazine that is distributed to surgeons.
Take Care
Gip
Yes.. I am here. And this forum was here for me when I needed it...and I am here because I am very fragile now.
I've been cleaning up... not just me...the house..old clothes, purses. Everytime I open another handbag... pills... I reached into a shoe box...pills.....I crunched under the bed found a bag with a brand new script unopened 50 pills... put away a suitcase from vacation in August ... I truly thought someone at the hotel stole the pills... they were in a side pocket.
And I dare say... I am not addicted.. just dependEnt... PPPfffttttt! RIGHT!
I'm still here to help whoever I can. But I'm still here because I am fragile. The more of something you give away... the better chance you have to keep it. I'm very fragile.
XoXo
Gip
I've been cleaning up... not just me...the house..old clothes, purses. Everytime I open another handbag... pills... I reached into a shoe box...pills.....I crunched under the bed found a bag with a brand new script unopened 50 pills... put away a suitcase from vacation in August ... I truly thought someone at the hotel stole the pills... they were in a side pocket.
And I dare say... I am not addicted.. just dependEnt... PPPfffttttt! RIGHT!
I'm still here to help whoever I can. But I'm still here because I am fragile. The more of something you give away... the better chance you have to keep it. I'm very fragile.
XoXo
Gip
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