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Going to detox on oxycontin (last time)

Hello. I am Shiloh. I am 58 and I have been on oxycontin 90 mgs a day for 8 years. I don't have hospitalization. I cannot control my energy level. I can feel sick during the day because I am an addict.  I was treated for pain when I crushed every bone in my arm, wrist and hand and I essentially have a titanium arm.  But I can't live being dependent on these drugs any more.  I have tried to detox by myself 3 times but just could not take the sickness.  I cannot afford rehab as it is 20K a month and to me it is the biggest and saddest ripoff in the country.  Detox at a rehab center consists of other people checking in on you while you suffer.  I would love to have someone to love me through this but I have no one.  I hope that some of you will be my friend as I go through this journey. I am going to videotape myself with my flip camera to show how horrible this drug is and how addictive and how purdue lied about it. even though i would never have the means to sue.  Is anybody paying attention to this board who has successfully gotten off of oxys that can share with me their experience? Please please be out there. thanks for anybody who listens to this voice from the internet, i.e. a real person suffering.. and all alone.
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Avatar universal
It seems for many of us, the most and best help or advice comes from other addicts. I agree with you on the clinics. But never discount n/a or aa, they are almost everywhere, and they are free. They are there to help you, as are we. I too was on oxy's for years, and just can't/won't live on them anymore. This is day 21 for me. Everyone's journey is a little different and much the same. If you are at 90mg, then you have different size tabs, correct? However you take them, you have the means for a taper. As Dave suggested, I tapered after jumping off @ 140 and that just didn't work well. The taper plan got me down to under 40 a day and I was able to stop. Most addicts can't taper off without someone else administering the doses to keep you on track, it is way to easy to blow it off, if even for a day. The forum is full of people that have quit every which way. Also, you can just type in n/a, and they have addresses and phone#'s, local and easy. Someone to relate to who understands is priceless on this journey. Good luck and keep posting
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1283286 tn?1312911966
Hey Shiloh, it was me talking of the jump from 120mg's..This was April last year when I ran a week short..At the time I had no idea as to what was in store for me wd wise..I learned fast..

This was a pre-empt for another disc surgery I needed which was done in June..End of July I quit again with a slight taper, only to get slammed with a nerve flairup that literally was ballistic causing me to ask for more meds..This was when I got bumped up to oxy 80's..And when things went royally out of control...End of Sept, early Oct, the nerve finally backed off but by that point , I was in the 200 to 300 mg daily range with the oxy along with precocets..I was taking it to keep the wd's at bay at that point..To make this short though, come New Years Eve, I ran 2 days short on seeing my Dr who had been on Vacation. I had been tapering with 10 mg pills not with the idea of quitting, but making it to refill day..When that Monday came, I decided not to call..I decided I had had enough of the h*ll..So no, I was not in a constant state of detox as I confused you above..

This is why I mention doing a taper..In the 2nd quiting back after the surgery, I had done a taper but that was maybe 5 or 6 days..Not enough time to make a difference..My week and a half taper over Christmas did though..At least 50% better than the ct experience and 30% better than the fast track taper I did in July.. This is why I expressed considering a taper as this is first hand experience..And Petroglygh54 has indicated the same with his experience..If you could get worked down to the 10 or 20mg range after two weeks, it would have to make things much more managable..I believe that whole Heartedly...

Food? I got by with Progresso vegetable soups and did something you mentioned..I would precook some chicken breasts or hamburger meat, and add it to the soups..Then make ,,sometimes pre-make ham and cheese, chicken and cheese, whatever type sandwiches to eat along side of the soups..It was easy to keep the food moving as I had pre prepped everything so it wasn't like a workout everytime I went into the kitchen..And there are those times that your body feels like it weighs a thousand pounds and just thinking about getting up wears a person out before they even get up..Getting the infornation you are right now with all the feedback is so very important too..If you know what to expect, it helps in the mental realm as your not left with blank spots in why you might be feeling the way you do, or statr thinking some anxiety attachk is coming which make you wonder if your about to have a serious medical problem...This is where some people literally freak out and go back to using as they can't see the forest thru the tree's or if they had been asking questions in the forum here, they had a hard time believing that what we say is the truth of the matter..With proper preparation and a good mental mindset walking into the process, a person can get thru this with minimal surprises that cause confusion..

Oxycontin is an evil drug..It just is. It takes control of mind,body, and soul before a person is aware..I have come to hate the stuff with a passion..I mean hate,hate,hate..I used that anger to my advantage which is something to consider if once you get going with quitting and the bad voice comes in and says it's ok to maybe "get a little relief"..

And I'm jealous of you in a way..You found this site at the perfect time..In preparation for reclaiming your life from Purdue's little monsters..That pushes your odds of success way up over most..I can tell you are doing your homework and "hearing" everything being offered to you to consider..Unlike alot of folks that come in here, are presented with the real deal about this, yet fail to believe that the fact is, they aren't going to stop for a couple days and then feel like a million bucks..It just doesn't work that way..So, vitamins, Immodium (your best friend the first few days), a weeks worth of time without havng any major obligations to attend to, plenty of easy fix meals, gatorade, and you'll have a great start at getting thru this...It will be ok ...:) Dav
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Avatar universal
Thank God your only physically dependent and not addicted! Me too! Although I failed to see the difference while I was detoxing. I read as well. I wasn't able to learn what detox is like though till I went there. I hope there is a difference, and if there is it's that I don't crave. The sickness is the same. It's unfortunate that you made it to day 5 and stopped, you were there, and probably noticed it just starting to turn. Hopefully others will post, and I believe you can keep scrolling back at least a dozen years which is a way to gain precious insight to the coming "war", on drugs, fought personally. Later
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271792 tn?1334979657
The posts do not get erased. Once people stop posting on a particular thread it just moves down the chain, so to speak, and it becomes part of the archives. You can always look at any of your post by going to your profile at the top of the page. Your posts will be listed under your description of yourself on the left.

I don't agree with maintenance drugs for many reasons and I am glad you are not looking into that as an option. The drugs that are available today require withdrawal from them, much like the pain medications.

I read quite a bit about the place in Thailand, saw the videos and saw a special on it. My personal opinion is that it is a waste of money. I am not sure that vomiting your way through detox is the healthiest alternative.

Well, it sounds like you have what you need to get going. now you just need to get yourself  mentally prepared for this. Remember that a good attitude goes a long way.

Be good to yourself and again, glad you found your way here.
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Avatar universal
does anybody know if this forum erases these posts after a time, because I would like to keep a diary of these posts.. If I do make it, it will only be because I found this site and you folks.
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Avatar universal
I feel blessed today to have found all of you.. I love the fact that I found at least two people who are about my age.. We have seen a lot of change in this country, haven't we?  Growing up in the peace-love era, Viet Nam, hope for no more wars, but wars ever continuing.

Yes, my doctor calls me a dependent.. not an addict. I didn't know what the difference was unti you wrote IZ. Thanks.  

Also, thanks for the honesty Petro about your withdrawals. That is what scares me the most. You describe it well.  I felt torture in every cell in my body and as I said, I have never been able to live with such torture past day 4.  I had a high fever and just couldn't move.. I have to get a ton of dvds to watch because I feel so sick that I can't read when I am going through the w/ds. Thankfully, I live on a little farm in North Carolina so it will be easy for me to get outside and get some fresh air once I am ready to jump.

Thank you also IZ for giving me more encouragement about the timeline.  As I said, I work. Actually, I wrote that I work full time, but I actually only work part time.  The thing I am the most worried about is that I work from home, and I don't want one of my customers to call me when I am going through the withdrawals.. because I will have to take a pill to function with them. So I need to plan to take at least 2 weeks off where I know that nobody will call me.  

I have been working out daily for about a month trying to get my body in shape for what is to come.  I lost 8 lbs. in the process.  I am curious what kind of food to keep around when I get sick.  It has to be something easy since I am alone.  I don't like processed soups. but I can do cup of noodles as long as I rinse off the salt.  I guess I should get a bunch of fresh fruit to start and try to freeze berries and such.. Maybe I should bake some chicken and freeze it so it will be easy to defrost in the microwave.  

I purchased everything for the Thomas recipe so I have that concotion ready and I have a bunch of bubble bath ready for my hot baths.  The question is.. the timing. Now that I have you all to help me, I feel so much better.  I do plan to videotape myself each day if I can even find the energy to do that.. just as a video diary.  

I am so scared because as I said, I have tried this 3 times before - never made it.  If I had a partner, I wonder if it would help me if they could hold onto me while I was sick.. or if I would be so sick that I wouldn't want them around.  At any rate, again, I am glad I found all of you.

By the way, I was even considering going to that detox place in Thailand.. you know where they make you throw up every day. then I thought.. you know.. I think there is something about throwing up that probably helps with withdrawals as you might mentally feel like you are getting the poison out of your body. So I actually went online to see what I could find that would help me throw up. they used to sell something like that when I was a kid but it is off the market now. Any thoughts on that idea?

The Thailand place is free but it cost a lot of money for air fare. and from what I have seen on the movie called "Heroin" which is about the Thailand place, most of the people who go there smoke cigarettes incessantly. I hate smoking and couldn't bear to be sick and then be around smoking.  

But again, it may seem weird, but it works in Thailand.. I do wonder what is in their mixture to make people throw up 2-3 times a day.  I wish I knew what kind of "throw up" concoction to make for my at home detox. It sounds gross but it works for them and I think there is some relief.. when you are that sick.  

Sorry to be so gross and graphic.. but I am being honest about my thoughts.

And yes, IZ, I have talked to this pain doctor specialist. he went to law school with me. He had his own pain clinic and he has studied pain.  He said if you take this drug called "nalexedrone".. or something like that.. that it helps with withdrawals..heroin addicts used to be prescribed this drug during detox. I don't believe in substituting one drug for another.  He has told me again and again that it takes a very long time for the brain to recover because the brain, when one is on pain medication, stops producing dopamine and/or serotonin on its own... and it takes a long time for the brain to realize that it needs to produce those hormones.  

I wonder if I will make it this next try... I have to..I cannot live like this any longer. I used to be filled with boundless energy.  Now I often feel like a zombie.  I forget things.  At one point in the 8 years since I was on oxycontin, I spent about 2 years buying crap from ebay and I don't even remember half of the crap I bought.  

Love to all of you.  We need each other. To me, God means human spirits coming together in love.  Shiloh
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271792 tn?1334979657
I am well aware of Perdue and the issues that surrounded them for years when the drug was first introduced. If memory serves me well, it was around 2003 that the FDA once again insisted that they provide stronger warnings for the drug and that they be specific about its addictive properties. Anyway, that is not what you are here for.

I felt a pang when I read what you just wrote. It is sad that a doctor told you it would take months to get well. Like I said earlier, that doesn't give you much incentive and it is very sad.

What I pray was my last detox was 3-1/2 years ago. I too struggled with awful withdrawals and because of other health problems I had a hard time  tapering or going cold turkey. I did finally get through it and the energy and sleep were the last two things to return. It was a few weeks for the energy to return completely and probably a month for the sleep to return. All in all, it was well worth it. We are the same age by the way but it seems that you are healthier than I was--physically I mean. I could do more in the way of exercise and nutrition but that's a topic for another day.

As for you, being that you were active before and are in good health otherwise, I don't see it taking months to recover as your doctor suggested. I don't know he is basing it on but it just doesn't make sense.

It is possible that you are dependent on them (the meds) and not addicted to them meaning that the treatment center may not be the course for you to take. IF that is the case then are will have an edge on this whole process and should not have much difficulty getting through it.

I didn't go back and read again so bear with me if I am repeating myself, but is the doctor willing to set you up on a taper plan or was he the one charging $200 a visit? It may be worth it to get that plan and perhaps a prescription for Clonidine as well. that will help ease the symptoms. I also suggested the natural supplements that many swear by.

Keep talking hun and listening to the members suggestions. When you are ready to make the jump then stick around here. There is always someone around who will guide you through the process. You are in my thoughts and if there is anything I can do to help, let me know.
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Avatar universal
No probem shiloh, pound away! For me it's been a long slow gruel. I started coming off 200mg's in Dec., like I said first time about 6 weeks ago, I give 'er a try at 140, and for me it was brutal. It's different for everyone I know, but mine was bad. I writhed in pain for 14 hours and damaged my lateral muscles and more discs. But, it did seem to reset my tolerance just a bit. Although a heavy price. Next day, had to treat but was able to keep it down under 80, then suffered down to 40 then jumped 21 days ago. I hope I didn't sugar coat it to much? How am I feeling? Whew! After 13 days, I caught the flu! My wd's were like a bad flu, and my flu was like wd's? Weird. Did it feel like the worst ever? Uh, well, again it's different for everybody, but for the first 36 hours, I can't put it into words. Mine hurt down to the cellular level, is the only thing I can come up with, something like a continuous electric shock although of a low voltage. After that, you could put it on a graph or a chart and it's slower than anyone wants, it get's better almost every hour, so 21 days out, I'm definately a new man. Energy, that's I think earned. We've always known to eat right, vitamins and exercise. I believe that anything worth having is worth working for, that includes personal energy. The mind and body are inseperable, but your struggle will be won or lost in your own mind. Exercise, hot baths, you know the ways to get this out of you. Oh, and I forgot to mention lots of good water, you have to stay hydrated, to get clean and to live well. Yes my energy is starting to return, little by little, and I'm now able to sleep which I couldn't for the first 2 weeks more than 2 hours or so a night. You will need things for your mind to do, you will be awake longer than you can believe. I'm glad to try and help shiloh, but I think you already had hope, but thanks. Read, and read Shiloh, information and knowledge is critical as is aftercare. I hope you will try at least one n/a meeting. I never purchased a drug either, and don't intend to. Mine were all paid for and I never missed a dose. I also don't have any friends that do drugs. I'm 55 and never in my life did I think I'd go to an n/a meeting, but I started about 2 weeks ago, It's perfectly comfortable for me, They I can relate to, lab tech's in white coats, not so much. Good luck and keep posting
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Avatar universal
HI IBKleen, thanks again for writing. Purdue is the company that developed and manufactures oxycontin. They have a patent on it which has not expired the 17 years and as such there are no generic alternatives for oxycontin.

Yes, I have talked to an allegedly world renowned pain doctor who tells me that my brain will require many months of healing.  The thing I am the most scared about is how I feel physically.

If I can feel healthy of course I won't want to touch the drugs.  this isn't about an escape for me. Prior to my accident, I didn't drink or smoke.  I handle the stresses of life by getting deeply involved in studying. I went to law school as an example and studied all the time.  I work out when I can.  I love life and never needed any crutch prior to this.

The thing I am most scared about is feeling like crap for the next 6 months or likelky forever. I want to feel natural again.  It is so scary but you are giving me some hope that maybe I might be able to recover and feel healthy and not feel sick and that I may be able to have a normal life again where I have natural energy?  Yes, I have been led to believe that it is otherwise.  

I don't think I need to learn coping techniques from rehab.. in group therapy. I would love that because I am social and I love to help others and I appreciate input.  But I am 58 and I have learned so much about how to cope. I read the book A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle and it totally changed my life.. about the power of now.

all of that is good, but I am physically debilitated now on the drugs but sometimes during the day I will feel really good for a time... I want to feel really good all the time and I fear that ... that isn't possible. Is it? Thank you.
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271792 tn?1334979657
Hi again,

From my experience, some treatment centers have what they call an indigent program, meaning that they will help someone who does not have insurance. Some also have alumni programs -- they are funded through donations from people who have completed their treatment. I have been to treatment several times and I am aware of what the costs are. It is very expensive but as you know, the health care system in this country is the subject of much controversy. A good many of the centers are privately owned. I also wanted you to know that there are not many centers that deal with the physical withdrawal meaning that they will not do much for you and sometimes they even request that you be detoxed before entering treatment. Their goal is to treat the mind once you have gotten past the physical withdrawal. Bottom line, they will give you the tools to stay clean, but not to get clean. Then there are detox centers which will take you for 5 or 6 days and treat just the physical withdrawal. While that will help you get past that stage, people are often left to their own devices to continue to live life clean and it is very hard.

You mentioned something about Perdue, I think that was the comment that confused me.

Also hun, I mentioned that I have been through this several times--many times--and I have also been around people who have detoxed off of all sorts of different drugs. I have never seen anyone go through months of withdrawal and I don't know why your doctor would tell you that. It doesn't sound like he is giving you much hope and that concerns me.

Do you have a plan for alternative pain treatment once you are through the withdrawal? My pain stems from back injuries so I am not familiar with treatments that are available (non narcotic of course) for the arm and hand.

Yes, you will find members here who have gone thru detox and relapsed. that is not uncommon and you will also find members here that have stayed clean for a time. You can get something out of everyone.

Let us know if we can give you any further suggestions. Take care of yourself.
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Avatar universal
One more thing.  Purdue lied to all the doctors when oxycontin first came out and told doctors that it wasn't addictive. My doctor doesn't want me to be on oxys anymore and tells me that he would never prescribe oxys to me today, knowing what he knows now about the drug.  the thing is.. we have tried methadone and other drugs, combo with neurontin, you name it.. and I can't function on these other drugs.  This is why I am mad at Purdue.  

Also, I applied for assistance from Purdue and they let me in their program for the medicine but they were late in delivering the drugs two months in a row causing me to go into withdrawal.  Then they referred me to public assistance.  They don't want to help anybody.
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Avatar universal
Hi. Thank you for your answer.  I relate to you because you are at day 21 now.  And I am curious how you are feeling?  Were you sick through the withdrawals? Did you just feel like the worst ever?  Do you feel better now? Do you have energy? Do you feel human? Are you able to sleep? God bless you and forgive me for pounding you with questions. You give me hope being at day 21. Shiloh
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Avatar universal
Thank you so much everyone for weighing in and giving me your thoughts.  I want to tell you a little more about me.  I am on prescribed drugs because my arm in crushed. I go to a pain doctor.  Without the medicine, I can't move my hand very well. But I can't stand the fact that I feel so awful all the time, and do not have energy.  I am controlled by the pills. I take 3 20 mgs of oxys every 8 hours and 3 10-325 percocets off and on depending on how I feel. I am working full time and I do not have any friends who are addicts.  I don't smoke cigarrettes. I don't buy drugs illegally for a fix.  I just feel that the prescription drugs are controlling my life.

When I have tried to quit before, I have never felt so sick in my life.  Usually, on days 3-4-5, I feel like I am being tortured and I cannot move.  I have never been able to break through day 5.. I get to the point where I cannot bear the torture anymore.  I have serious withdrawal illness. I have been told by my pain doctor that my brain will take many months to normalize once I stop taking the drugs.  

I am prepared to be out of it for many months, but of course, I am so scared because as I said, I am all alone. If I could just make it through the first week, maybe I might see some relief.  I have tried to taper and when I wanted lower dosages, my doctor's office would charge me an extra 200.00 a visit everytime I wanted to go lower.  I will start tapering over the first week.  I think it would be foolish for me to go cold turkey.

I am not sure I understand the comment from somene saying I am blaming others for my addiction.  I was seriously injured and as I said, I was prescribed this medicine because without it, I can't work my right hand well.  It is so sensitve to touch and it freezes without the pain medicine. Strange, isn't it?  But I have decided I would rather have a frozen hand than be on these meds.

I do blame rehab centers for being profit motivated solely. I have checked with a number of rehab centers who do not accept anything but full payment and I have never heard that public assistance will cover rehab for anybody in my condition. Does anybody here have any experience in getting public assistance to go into rehab?  I have talked to intake counselors at rehab centers and they are like used car salesmen telling me that I have to come there and asking me for my visa number.  If rehab didn't cost so much, I would go tomorrow.
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I think it is going to be mind over matter for me.  I know I have to use my mind like I never have before. this is going to be a fight for me to have a better life.  When I get horribly horribly sick, I am going to have to have some mental strength to stay with it.

I am curious when people write about how succesful they were at detoxing in the past, but they seem to still be on drugs today.  One person said that they went cold turkey after 120 mgs of oxys and that it was difficult, but they mentioned they are still going through a detox?  That confuses me.  I hope to be drug free totally.  My life will be compromised because I will have a nonfunctioning hand but I want a clean mind.  Blessings to all of you who wrote to me. I had tears coming down my face as I read your comments to know that I am not alone. Thank you for your help and for listening.
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Avatar universal
What about Goverment Assistance? I know some of the folks I was in Rehab with got it stricly because Addiction is considered a Disease. And Never say never...Us addicts tend to look too far into the future when we should take everyday one at a time...When I get up in the morning I say "Thank you God for my life" and when I go to bed I say " Thank you God for getting me through the day Clean and Sober" and then before you know it, its been a month, then a Year...I also was addicted to Oxycodone for many many years..I started out doing it just for fun, and all of a sudden I was 28 years old and my life had gone by High all those years. I wasnt living...I wasnt feeling Happiness, or sadness for that matter. We need to feel as human beings. and we cant do that when we'r High..Make Sober Friends, change all of your old habits...Anything that can trigger a Relapse. I had to give up ALL OF MY FRIENDS..But then i made new ones..BETTER ONES!!! SOBER PEOPLE HAVE SO MUCH MORE FUN, cause we dont need any kind of substance to enjoy ourselves...Good Luck, contact your local Public Welfare Center and see if they can do anything to help you, and keep talking to people who want to help you and not people who want you to buy or do drugs with them
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1283286 tn?1312911966
I would suggest a taper if you can get with a Dr and coordinate one over a couple weeks minimum..It will greatly reduce the ultimate symptoms you have when you stop...

Need to reset your perceptions of the wd process as well..They are uncomfortable no doubt, but here recently I have been seeing alot of folks who are ready to quit, have read some about wd's, and have worked up this horrible senerio in there head which drives one's anxiety thru the roof before they even stop..

One member going thru it right now has been struggling for a month to finally let go of the pills and here two days into the process,, has yet to be hit with anything severe in the possible symptoms a person could get.And at two days it ought to be at it's worse...So they are different with everyone.

Most of the worst wd's I've experienced or seen (read) other's describe as bad came from high dose cold turkey experiences. I for one as I had a ct experience from 120mg daily of oxycontins a year ago.That was real tough....Over Christmas here recently I did a week and a half taper which resulted in my symptom being far more doable than the h*ll I experienced last year..

If you can taper, I honestly believe it would benefit you...
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Avatar universal
There is wonderful support here from REAL people who REALLY care. I know how scary and overwhelming this can be. I'm entering day 5 off of Norcos and Percs. I too have several chronic pain conditions, but began to abuse my meds several years ago. Making the decision to quit has caused me a lot of mental torment, but I'm here- I'm alive and am now beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Its not easy, but its is doable. Just keep posting. I'm taking each new day, moment to moment- as that's all any of us can do. We're here for you:) You're NOT alone in this.

Stephanie
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271792 tn?1334979657
Hi & Welcome,

You are not alone and have a great place for support. I have been through physical withdrawal more times than I care to count---you will find a lot of members here have.

I first have to make a suggestion--your state of mind and your mental attitude is going to help a lot during this time and you need to be more positive. It seems you are blaming people for becoming addicted and the bottom line is that you took the medication of your own free will. There is time to talk about it at a later date but right now you need to work on getting through this phase so get positive, okay?

I know the withdrawal is bad and I know it is uncomfortable, but it is very doable and will only last a few days, a week at most and you will be done with it.

If you have the money to purchase some supplements there are a few suggestions members can give you here on what helped them to ease the process. Also you will need to get yourself ready at home and get as comfortable as you can. Hot baths are the best for the aches. You will need to push fluids and eat when you can. Light exercise will help the muscle aches as well---even a short walk will make a difference.

Tell me, when are you going to start? And are you planning to just go ct or are you trying a taper plan?
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1029192 tn?1292981918
Hi there - I just wanted you to know that people on this site DO CARE - keep posting - you will find it very cathartic and therapeutic to do so...be patient, though - sometimes it takes a while for people to get back to you, and sometimes posts get lost in the shuffle b/c there are a lot of people posting...

You ARE NOT ALONE...this site and the people have always been here for me when I need them - sometimes I go for months without posting, but then when I need help, I know I can post and someone will be with me...we are all going through the same thing, to varying degrees.  The people here are just wonderful.

Will check back to see how you are doing - just take things easy and as other people have told me just this week (it's been a rough week for me) you are HUMAN and a beautiful human, at that - be kind to yourself - it's not productive for you to beat yourself up (as I've been doing all week) - love yourself - and just take things as they come.

Your new friend,

Karen  oxoxo
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