Aa
HELP, A HOLE IN NOSE THAT IS SO DEEP I CAN FEEL THE CHEEK AND JAW BONES
IM FROM LIVERPOOL IM AFTER URGENT ADVICE AND IS THERE ANYONE ELSE OUT THERE THAT HAS THE SAME HAPPENED TO THEM PLEASE
IVE BEEN A BAD ADDICT OVER 8 YEARS I THINK ON COCAINE, NEARLY EVERY DAY NOW,
I ONLY EVER GET THE STUFF GET IN MY HOME LOCK DOOR AND BE ON MY OWN DOING IT.
MY NOSE IS SO DAMAGED MY RIGHT NOSTRIL, I CAN GET MY WHOLE FINGER DOWN INSIDE IT AND LATELY SCRATCHED THE BONES INSIDE BY ACCIDENT CLEANING SCABS AND STUFF OUT , I CAN ALSO FEEL MY JAW BONE OR CHEEK BONE NOW, IM SO SCARED, MY NOSE HAS DROPPED TO IN LOOKS ON MY FACE.
THE BLOWING ALL THE TIME NOW IS MAKING ME DIZZY AND HEAD SO SORE MY EYESIGHT GOES A BIT WHEN I STAND UP AFTER BEING UNDER MY 2 DUVETS SO NOBODY OUTSIDE HEARS ME CONSTANTLY BLOW BLOW BLOW
PLEASE ADVISE ME, CHAT TO ME, HELP ME
IVE BEEN A BAD ADDICT OVER 8 YEARS I THINK ON COCAINE, NEARLY EVERY DAY NOW,
I ONLY EVER GET THE STUFF GET IN MY HOME LOCK DOOR AND BE ON MY OWN DOING IT.
MY NOSE IS SO DAMAGED MY RIGHT NOSTRIL, I CAN GET MY WHOLE FINGER DOWN INSIDE IT AND LATELY SCRATCHED THE BONES INSIDE BY ACCIDENT CLEANING SCABS AND STUFF OUT , I CAN ALSO FEEL MY JAW BONE OR CHEEK BONE NOW, IM SO SCARED, MY NOSE HAS DROPPED TO IN LOOKS ON MY FACE.
THE BLOWING ALL THE TIME NOW IS MAKING ME DIZZY AND HEAD SO SORE MY EYESIGHT GOES A BIT WHEN I STAND UP AFTER BEING UNDER MY 2 DUVETS SO NOBODY OUTSIDE HEARS ME CONSTANTLY BLOW BLOW BLOW
PLEASE ADVISE ME, CHAT TO ME, HELP ME
I'm glad that you posted. It is always darkest before the dawn. I've been in recovery since '99 after 36 long years of drug and alcohol abuse. Where you're at now, feeling like you might as well be dead, is called "hitting your bottom" and it's where a good many of us have to get to, before anything in recovery makes any sense. I was planning on ending my life in a hotel room, and it was like God sent me an angel and that's when i met my future (now) husband. Please don't count yourself out of having divine intervention set you up for a life and love that you never knew existed.
If you do nothing, you're kids will always think of you as a using addict and an addict who did what she had to do for money, (stealing or prostitution, it isn't hard to imagine, and you're not fooling your kids) til your dying day. they will have that thought of you as your legacy to them.. People are quite compassionate and understanding about how an addict pays for their drugs,, IF they clean themselves up. If they don't , it can be a scar to your kids that will never heal. They may feel that they weren't enough of a motivation for you get help and it could scar them emotionally for the rest of their lives. It is because of my son that i got off the streets and found a rehab and made a break at a better life. Within a year i owned my own home, had started to drive again, got myself a great job, Within two and a half years i had regained custody of my son.
You have a choice, you can change all that, and leave your kids knowing that you cared enough to clean yourself up and actually enjoy life and what other people bring into it. Rehab is the best place to start. It's amazing how peaceful it is to be in a place where everyone is like you and there's no one to judge where you've been. And it get's better because after you've built a foundation there is a huge amount of support and comradery within the fellowship of AA or CA or NA.
I know it's very hard for you to imagine or accept this, but it is my experience after many hard years of cocaine, heroin etc abuse, that it was a lot easier (given the tools that are available) to get clean and sober, than to have to do what we have to do for our drug money, getting ripped off by dealers, jail, etc. (the lifestyle) Estrangement from my own child (which was the worst part of it, knowing how he would end up seeing his mother being). and then what comes with using (the constant withdrawal symptoms) Taking advantage of a medically supervised detox ,talking to a therapist, learning why i acted as i did, learning how to forgive myself and others, Learning how to use a mutual support group, and staying focused on my mental and physical health was and still is a walk in the park compared to how i felt as a junkie.
Please, think about your children. and talk about getting some help. Think about , we're here to help you. God bless you for posting your story.
If you do nothing, you're kids will always think of you as a using addict and an addict who did what she had to do for money, (stealing or prostitution, it isn't hard to imagine, and you're not fooling your kids) til your dying day. they will have that thought of you as your legacy to them.. People are quite compassionate and understanding about how an addict pays for their drugs,, IF they clean themselves up. If they don't , it can be a scar to your kids that will never heal. They may feel that they weren't enough of a motivation for you get help and it could scar them emotionally for the rest of their lives. It is because of my son that i got off the streets and found a rehab and made a break at a better life. Within a year i owned my own home, had started to drive again, got myself a great job, Within two and a half years i had regained custody of my son.
You have a choice, you can change all that, and leave your kids knowing that you cared enough to clean yourself up and actually enjoy life and what other people bring into it. Rehab is the best place to start. It's amazing how peaceful it is to be in a place where everyone is like you and there's no one to judge where you've been. And it get's better because after you've built a foundation there is a huge amount of support and comradery within the fellowship of AA or CA or NA.
I know it's very hard for you to imagine or accept this, but it is my experience after many hard years of cocaine, heroin etc abuse, that it was a lot easier (given the tools that are available) to get clean and sober, than to have to do what we have to do for our drug money, getting ripped off by dealers, jail, etc. (the lifestyle) Estrangement from my own child (which was the worst part of it, knowing how he would end up seeing his mother being). and then what comes with using (the constant withdrawal symptoms) Taking advantage of a medically supervised detox ,talking to a therapist, learning why i acted as i did, learning how to forgive myself and others, Learning how to use a mutual support group, and staying focused on my mental and physical health was and still is a walk in the park compared to how i felt as a junkie.
Please, think about your children. and talk about getting some help. Think about , we're here to help you. God bless you for posting your story.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Not better off dead.....your just caught in the cycle of addiction.
All of our actions have consequnces, and sometimes those consequences can be for the best! Not sure of the wait period in England but you imo you need to put yourself somewhere where u can detox and learn how to live without the drugs.
Also, if you think your kids dont know, your kidding yourself! All 4 of my kids knew...they just didnt confront me with it...
U literally need to call some place RIGHT NOW....Have u ever done treatment?
All of our actions have consequnces, and sometimes those consequences can be for the best! Not sure of the wait period in England but you imo you need to put yourself somewhere where u can detox and learn how to live without the drugs.
Also, if you think your kids dont know, your kidding yourself! All 4 of my kids knew...they just didnt confront me with it...
U literally need to call some place RIGHT NOW....Have u ever done treatment?
COMMUNITY LEADER
I hope this isnt too forward.....but you need to go to a doctor....immediately! What you've described sounds extremely serious and i would think infection could set in, in your face. You need to stop whatever your doing and check your *** into treatment before you kill yourself!!!! Anyone, that blows that much coke that they've burrowed a hole in their septum, obviously has a serious problem! Get into treatment NOW!
1 Comments
I KNOW I SHOULD GO DOCTORS BUT IM SO SCARED MY KIDS WILL DISOWN ME THEY HARDLY TALK TO ME AS IT IS IVE LOST THEM THEY HAVE BABIES OF THEIR OWN NOW THEY KNOW IVE DABBLED IN COCAINE BUT NOT THIS SERIOUS I FEEL DYING IS THE ONLY SOLUTION AT THE MOMENT SO THEY NEVER KNOW WHAT IVE DONE TO MYSELF.
I TAKE COCAINE I CANT STOP IT I CANT EVEN FUNCTION NORMAL DAY TIMES WITHOUT IT SO I GO TRY FIND MONEY I WONT SAY HOW I GET ITR BUT ITS HARD WORK ,
COCAINE IS MY BEST FREIND, ONLY MATE IM ALONE 24/7 IN MY HOME NOW SCARED TO EVEN SOCIALISE DONT GO OUT THE HOUSE NOW,
IVE NOTHING NOW SO IM BETTER OF DEAD
I TAKE COCAINE I CANT STOP IT I CANT EVEN FUNCTION NORMAL DAY TIMES WITHOUT IT SO I GO TRY FIND MONEY I WONT SAY HOW I GET ITR BUT ITS HARD WORK ,
COCAINE IS MY BEST FREIND, ONLY MATE IM ALONE 24/7 IN MY HOME NOW SCARED TO EVEN SOCIALISE DONT GO OUT THE HOUSE NOW,
IVE NOTHING NOW SO IM BETTER OF DEAD
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