HELP!!! Methadone and Sex Drive

[hc765]

My bf has been on methadone for his heroin addiction for a little over a year, but for the last 4 months we have not had sex (and rarely the months before that). I have heard that methadone lowers sex drive, and he has also gained some weight, which  makes him feel insecure (but he knows that I think he's sexy regardless of weight). This is obviously hard for me to handle (considering we had great sex before this) but the parts which completely baffle me are 1) that he occasionally still has sex dreams (he is a sleeptalker :X), which I would assume wouldn't happen if he has no sex drive and 2) the fact that the other day I saw that he had been looking at porn online. Why would he be looking at porn if he doesn't have any sex drive?! This is hitting me pretty hard and I really don't understand it. I used to consider myself a pretty attractive person but it's really eating at my slef-esteem because I feel like his sex drive has only decreased to the point where he is only turned on by that slutty, porn star look. Does he really not have a sex drive or is it that his normal looking gf can't do it for him anymore?! If any guys can help explain what this all means or if any girls have been through this... HELP!

[male31florida]

im 31 male and went to methadone after quitting roxy's and what you described in your husband I went through. I went from having sex all day everyday that used to be always a top 3 priority for me lol but i started the methadone clinic a year ago and i think ive had sex 6 or 7 times this year and i have a beautiful wife and its not hard for me to get girls im not ugly i live in a small town thats predominantly poor and im not and my confidence is high as you can see i could literally go on for ever lol i started like everyone else at 30mg went up too 200mg and i just finished (quit) the clinic 4 days ago as today is saturday and wednesday was my last day of 4mg. i found this post because i just finished an orgasm and thought to my self i cant believe i forgot what this felt like! and immediately googled to see if i wasnt alone. its not to say i ever stopped liking girls (i would still look) but i really didnt care if i had sex with them anymore i used to think it was great it was like women no longer had power over me and i could treat a women like a man and believe me none of them could understand it either. I used to avoid actually having to have sex like the plague i just didnt want to do it i felt the work wasnt worth it (crazy) Once i forced myself to have sex with someone to get something i wanted and I faked the orgasm i can say that was a first for me but i had too i felt like i couldnt stop unless i faked it and i really didnt want to do it in the first place but she was nice to me and i wanted something (i know some of this sounds bad but i want to be truthful so people can know what goes on in someones head on methadone i dont speak for others just myself) and i dont want anyone to feel like the lady writting the post and the way i envision my wife feeling the same was which i hope she doesnt she one of the most beautiful women i know. i can say i had sex when i felt i had to please my wife as she doesnt understand, or if i ran into someone (only happened once) that in my mind met all the qualifications of what i knew i should want and did it. sex still made me orgasm (sometimes when it was really really really good) but its weird to explain its like the methadone changed my decision making in a small weird way it had nothing to with energy as i worked 18 hour days and now that im coming off methadone i can say the withdrawals arent that bad i only used a 3 day patch once im on day four of that and i just feel my age (i think) (creaky body aches) and the rapid temperature changes from sweating to going under a blanket but not as bad as what i was expecting but i will say i get this weird feeling in my head like when you go too far underwater the only way i can really explain it is when i was given a prescription for anger issues it made my head feel like it was in a bubble its like that and i feel like i might get dizzy but i dont and i see the change in the way i process info its crazy im back to the old me is all i have to say without the roxy (thank god) well almost i think i have a lot more to go because this seems to be more mental than anything i wasnt forced to quit i did it for my kids so i want too, i think thats why the withdrawal wasnt so bad nothing hurts when you do it for your children and after reading your post i want to go give my wife a hug and tell her im sorry i put her through that but methadone saved my life then i feel it almost killed me as im watching people that have been going to the clinic for 20-30 years just falling apart and showing back up in line day after day and i cant fault them if it wasnt for my kids i think personally i would of stayed on methadone for the rest of my life i couldnt see the problem when i was in it i knew there was something but i couldnt put my finger on it and it was weird the new power i had over women who couldnt understand why i was always winning with them because secretly i didnt want any sex from anyone and they couldn't understand how to handle me and the flirtiness just aggravated me (i know weird again) because i could see right through it but im glad to be back in the real world my wife should be the puppet master i do believe in women propping up kings the most powerful person in the world isnt the king its the person who can make kings.

[Saren123]

I am 24 and my boyfriend is now on methadone treatment. We have been together almost 3 years. He developed his addiction to roxy's during our relationship. The methadone helps, but he has no sex drive anymore. Even though i know its not me, my self esteem is being destroyed. He wont go to the doctor because he is embarrassed. I worry that this will be my life now. I did not expect to deal with this kind of thing in my twenties. I don't do any drugs, but i was raised in a home where everyone did. I dont want to spend my adulthood this way. :(

[ssayles4]

hi me ad my boyfriend are both on methadone we both go to the clinic andhe has started to lose his sex drive he wlll get hard when I give him oral sex but when its time for him to g down on me he goes limp and sometimes right before he goes in he goes limp hes blaming it on the methadne which is hard for me to believe bc he has been on it since we met and when we first got tgether we had sex at least 3 times a day he was always all over me even in public hell I thought that was all he wanted! we still kiss a lot everyday he still tells me im beautiful all the time but the sex has died down to like twice a month and even then hecan barely stay hard I feel so hurt and confused bc he says that its not me its the methadone but come he has been on it for years I mean yes he is on a higher dose now 'but 10 years of taki opiates and 5 years of taken the methadone he has no problem with his other gfs and honestly not to sound stuck up but im better lookin then most of them I just don't know what to do anymore im so sexually frustrated and tired of telling him to either see a doctor or quit the clinic ifhe loved me hed try to fix the problem and the fact I get hit on like crazy doesn't help! any advice I don't know if i can spend the rest of my life with someone that cant have sex with me like I need

[jiggers01]

Well, its six (6) months later and as I was told ,our sex life returned to normal. He was embarrased to discuss it. It hurts a mans pride. It WAS the methadone. It removed the sex drive but not his desire to have sex or his love for me. As we developed a tolerance to the methadone and leveled out at a low dose our sex life resumed to normalcy. I encourage other women to be patient and sensitive with this issue with your partner.They dont understand this change any more than we do! A once virile man who loses his drive for sex for unknown reasons even to himself, can be extremely uncomfortable with how the subject is approached.It gets better. It goes back to normal. Be patient and loving and try to be understanding. After all, when we women have the loss of sex drive we dont show it like men. We have the same feeling but we dont have the obvious disadvantage of losing or not being able to obtain an erection! For men, its out there for you to see. So, just relax and give him some time ladies. Its NOT you!

[jiggers01]

BUT, I should add....at least he is trying to straighten out his life. No more chasing pills and opiates. It is so true that no one mentioned the change in sex drive.   :(

[jiggers01]

Im glad I read this...I have been completely devastated with the change in my man since we both started methadone.. I have never loved, wanted or missed intimacy so much in my life. I adore him and his change in sex drive and lack of concern towards acknowledging it also hurts. I was thinking everything from is he having an affair, to, should I look for just sex elsewhere, ( but I dont want to betray him.). Now I know I have to either learn to just accept it and live with it or encourage him to get off the methadone eventually. Until then, Im not too sure what Im going to do. It seems that now that I feel rejected and unattractive to him all the time, other men are making it difficult for me not to think about ending our relationship. Sex, or at least intimacy, is THAT important to me. He used to not be able to get enough of me. He also smokes tpot and that makes everything ten times worse., Its like he just wants to zone completely out evry chance he gets and has lost interest in everything except sleeping. Sad.