Whatever happened to "Normal"???

[lifespercs]

So here I am approaching my 27th birthday in less that a week, and addicted to opiates. It started out with the vics'  I was sent home with after a surgery and really just never stopped.  Now, it seems like it's whatever opiate, doesn't matter, as long as within the next 45 mins after taking it, I will feel at least somewhat "normal and be up and off the couch".  Does anyone out there ever wonder to themselves what it would feel like just to feel "normal", again??  For me, I can't even remember what it feels like to wake up in the morning and actually have the self motivation to get up and start the day.  What my life has amounted to lately is waking up and popping at least a handful of percs just to feel "normal"... I really makes me sick to think about it all.  I would consider the "old me" a somewhat successful person, graduated with a degree, socially accepted, a good mother, loving wife.  It's insane how these drugs will take ahold of a person.  My family has up to this point had no idea about my nasty way of life.  I decided just to tell my Mom. She's agreed to take the kids for the weekend at least. I will be at home, trying to slay this dragon, kill the monkey on my back if you will.... I'm going to give this whole "Thomas recipie a whirl and hope that it helps at least a little bit.  Anyone who's ever been there knows the whole deal, not even being able to force your butt to get up off the couch,  sleepless nights, restless legs, even worse days.  So not looking forward to this.  My mother says why not just taper down??   Yeah, easier said than done. I really think the only way for me is to just do it.  So here's to me, wish me luck and all of that jazz, because I'm jumping in feet first.  Thank God for this sight, it's a real inspiration to see that so many others are or have experienced the exact same thing, props to those of you who are "on the wagon",  hopefully I'll be joining you soon:)

[refusingbondage]

There is no such thing as 'normal' LOL

However there is such a thing as being free from addiction.  There is such a thing as being overjoyed at the fact of being able to get out of bed and not have to feed yourself a handful of pills.  The worry, the guilt, the constant obsessing and pill counting - you can be free of this and life becomes so much more meaningful.  This you can find!  

Now normalcy.. Im still looking - let me know if you find it.. LOL

You can do this!  Takes a lot of determination, but if you really want its yours for the taking.  Fight hard and you will come out on top.  I am almost 9 months clean (will be on June 2).  Its a great feeling.. and life isnt perfect but every stress of every day is better than waking up needing that handful of pills just to make it to the shower..

Good luck and stay strong!  

[lifespercs]

Whoa, I absolutely didn't expect a response in writing this, but I have to say that reading what other people in the same boat have written to me, was really moving.  It's so nice to hear something from individuals who can empathize.  There's such a difference when the person giving the advice has actually been there.  I have gone through other types of w/d before, and w/d from opiates is absolutely the worst I've seen, it's a bad mother f'** and those of you who have kicked the habit, you are my inspiration:)  Thanks for your advice comments and support.  This is a really cool place, people who have no real connection, except this addiction coming together, very cool, to see something positive come out of this, finally:) Thanks

[merrymaria]

congrats for wanting your life back....you can do it but it takes time and lots of determination.   i used to do the same thing...wake up and pop pills just to feel normal...they did nothing towards the end...just made me feel normal.  i could never taper...ct was the only way for me and it was successful.....i just wanted to be normal without a handful of pills....i wanted it really bad.  days 1-4 pretty cruddy but day 5 things seemed to turn around.  the physical wds were gone but the mental thoughts hung on.  i was really tired...couldn t sleep for a couple weeks and depression set it for awhile....after about 2 weeks i felt pretty good except for energy being low but that is normal.. i took lots of vitamins, hot showers help, tried to do something physical even if it was just a short walk.  it got better as each day passed.....cravings would come but i would try to do something to get my mind involved into....our brains try to trick us...you can do this..post..ask questions...we are here to help...good luck to you.  it is so worth a couple days of feeling puney to have a drug free life.....maria

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

It will most likely take longer than the weekend.  Day 1 is usually not too bad for people and most quit the day before and function on day 1.  Then days 2-5 could be up for conjecture.  Especially if you are prepared for it you can make it!  I highly endorse using the amino's.  Especially L-Tyrosine for the energy loss and malaise.  5-HTP will help the head hassles.  Calcium / magnesium supp's are recommended for the RLS - WalMart has a product called Hylands Restful Legs- some say to use it.   Keep reading and learning.... knowledge is power with this stuff.... A heating pad or electric blanket is also recommended for leg / abdominal cramps... It can be done.  hope to see you "on the wagon" with us before long. Best of luck to you. It wont happen overnight - but it will happen.

[Reign30]

Hardest part is making the jump.  Especially knowing what you are in store for.  But you made the right decision and I wish you the best of luck.  

It might take a bit more than the weekend before you are able to be a mom to your kids.  I suggest that you asked your mother to take them until the middle of next week.