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595559 tn?1241140638

Hello a year later.....

I was on a wonderful road to sobriety for very close to a year......now that I look back at my last journal on here (a yr ago) I am extremely dissapointed in myself.  i never thought I would end up back in a bad situation again. But HERE I AM WORLD!!!!!!  I am no where near as bad off on pills as I was a yr ago.....an I did get clean, with much help from this site and my doc.  Many, many emotional things happened in my life since then, and here I am......I have been taking pain pills and xanex for a couple months, and drinking a lil too much too.... I have recentely left my fiance that I have a 3 year old son with, to now become a single and afraid mother....still.....I know there is NO excuse.......but I do know that I AM AN ADDICT and accept the fect that I fell off for a little bit and I need to get back on track, before I have to go threw the HORRIBLE withdrawls that I did before......I HAVE to be there....the ONLY one there for my ANGEL....my son!!!! MY WORLD.   And not to mention.....a guy I am interested in is about to be out of his 30 day rehab stay and clean and sober again, and I cant be with him if Im not clean.....
I am just very ashamed that I am back here a YEAR LATER doing the same old ****! !!!!!!!! (just not near as bad, thank GOD!)
Going to bed.......hopefully.......lots on my mind........(and I need a JOB !!!!! ASAP!!!! ) Ughhhhh!!!!! STRESSS!!!!! LIFE!!!
But I know I am way more blessed than others, so I try and count my blessings everyday......and love the people I do have in my life.....
NITE NITE~~~~~
JEN~~~~  ;)
4 Responses
Avatar universal
HI and welcome back....I wish it was on better terms...my heart is always sadden by a relapse epically after a yr clean...but you know the drill pick yourself up put the bottle
down and dust yourself off ...you can do this again...in a word relapse su##s it takes away everything you worked so hard to achieve ....let it be a learning experience for you
what are you going to do differently this time around??...aftercare is so critical to long term sobriety I dont know if you where involved with any if not get on the band wagon and join N/A or A/A ....mabe hook yourself up with a substance abuse conslor but anyone on this forum with any significant clean time works there recovery with aftercare use the successful as an example of what to do so a yr from now your here telling everyone about your success ...good luck and God bless....Gnarly      
495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
Welcome back!!  Wish it was under circumstances.  Please be very careful with this relationship.  Both of you are very early in and this can cause some real hardships down the line.  Get back on the road to recovery and take care of the emotional turmoil you have had.  You can do this.......sara
185545 tn?1331074866
Sorry to hear about the relapse...you can do it again, and you sound motivated, stay focused & good luck....
Avatar universal
Welcome back !!   Keep us posted.
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495284 tn?1333894042
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