Hello...

[Bkitty2]

I am not able to access my old account at the moment. I have sent an email and am waiting for a response but I could not stand it any longer & I wanted to come here and tell you all that I am sorry. Please bear with me..I am a little choked up at the moment. This is hard. I want to say that all the prayers were heard ( Ill explain more later about that) and mean so much to me. I cant seem to find the right words to tell you how much that really means to me. I am going to explain in detail the events that preceded my suicide attempt here in the next few days. Maybe then you will understand kinda the frame of mind I was in & just what happened in general. I am so happy to be home! So for now,,Thank you! Each every one of you! I love you!

Bkitty
(((((hugs)))))

[meegWpaw]

love you kitty

[Ellen038]

Good for you Bkitty!! I'm glad you are putting yourself first!! I think it's awful that they had the nerve to pressure you like that. Your in my daily thoughts and prayers as always. Andie is right, something better will come along when your ready.

[Andie015]

I lost my job when I went through my month long rock bottom and rehab stay. They would call every day for an update of when I was returning and I didn't have a good enough answer for them, eventually I found out, by mail , that I had been released. I fell apart.. Loosing my job on top of everything else. It turns out that was the best thing that could have happened. I no longer had the pressure of worrying about them (and if they would find out what was really going on) and I could focus on my recovery totally. After I had some clean time behind me and I was comfortable with looking for a new job i was blessed with the best job I have ever had!!! I'm still excited about it, 3 months later.... The moral of my long story is dont worry so much about outside things like work. I know work is important but YOU are WAY more important now....take care of yourself now and the rest will fall into place...whatever that may be. So glad to hear your chugging along, your doing great!!

[weaver71]

Without recovery, I don't need a job anyway. Good for you. I'm taking that approach with everything. First things first, right? Your spirits seem to be improving, it's wonderful to see you healing again. Easy does it. Thanks for checking in.

[ariley13]

I am so glad you told your work where they could shove it! You need to focus on you right now. Hang in there. Things have a way of turning around. Big hugs your way! :)

[Bkitty2]

Thank You all so very much. Im still here. Had a quiet weekend. I am just blah! I hope that this feeling will go away. I know it will in time. Just taking it one day at a time. Work has been pressuring me to come back and I told them to go to hell! I will come back when I am ready not when they think that I am ready!! Just got home from IOP. I think I am going to take a nap. The support that I have received here is so amazing and has helped me so much. I care about all of you!! ((((hugs))))

[hopeitworks]

Hi- I know we arent friends but I wanted you to know I have been following this and your hubby and I am so glad you were unsuccessufl you are so very special and a huge asset to this forum. Wishing you the very best in your recovery and stay well

[gnarly_1]

HI Kitty so good to see you posting   what you have been threw is ruff  I suffer from some really dark depressions  and cant take antidepression meds so I have to tuff it out  I cant say I havent ever thought about it but never acted there is only a thin line that seperates us so I can relate  just know that you can recover both my wife and I arew bi polar and addicts  Kat has been clean for 26 yrs now but you can imagin what its like wikth 2 bipolers under the same roof  we make it work  34 yrs tommorow WOOHOO  you can to  you will get past this just work on your recovery look forward to hering from you your in my prayers.......Gnarly.........

[kyle505]

WELCOME BACK!!! Thank goodness. We've missed you; I've missed you. Forget the sorry. You've done so much for me and my family and many, many others that you'll have (what my kids used to call) God Points that will last forever. Just keep getting well and strong. You are needed. And loved very much. By many. Never forget that.
Kyle

[waterLilly7]

hey girlfriend,
So glad our prayers were answered and you are back here with us.
We all love you.

hugs,
Lily

[OpenMind24hours]

Never feel humiliated about the past Bkitty.You have built quite a wonderful legacy on this forum. That's the past you can build on and take to the bank! On here you're surrounded by fellow addicts and you're never alone.

[weaver71]

I know that feeling, finally knowing you are going to live. We don't all get another chance, we are blessed my friend. I am so glad you are able to post. Your man Tony really gave us comfort knowing he was by your side and keeping us posted. All those Tony's a pretty cool, that's my name. ha! Thank him for us, a long heartfelt hug would be perfect. Look forward to seeing you around again.

[SmilingBright]

So glad You seem to be doing much better.   I'm fairly new to the forum.  But seems like you are an amazing woman w so many people who love and care for u.   I was following your story and was praying since I heard what happened to u.  So Grateful God answers prayers.  He obviously has something special just for YOU Bkitty.  May God continue to carry you through while u are getting stronger and stronger.  Praying for you and your hubby!!!   You are doing great!!  God bless you.  

Chris

[laurel453]

ditto what ImDoneNoMore and Lesa said, bkitty !!! I am so happy to have you back here !!!! don't ask yourself too much, you are a survivor of a turmoil, take care of yourself and count on us for whatever !!!! LOH

[On2better]

I just want you to know, you, yes YOU, have been a huge source of encouragement and comfort for me during some tough moments in my disease. You've given me strength and hope. And my wish is that we can all return the favor. I read you saying that you are just going through the motions right now. Fake it til you make it Bkitty. You'll get there, you know what needs to be done. I have no doubt you will regain your happy, fulfilled life in recovery, sister, and continue to inspire women like me.

[missmomma0062]

Hello! You don't know me, I just recently joined the group and god these people are wonderful/ I've heard a lot about you, and I think a lot of you. You are a very strong woman. I am so glad your ok now. Please stay strong and remember people that you didn't even know care about you :)

[Jimmy1975]

I am so happy to see you back here Kitty . We wouldn't be the same without you here and I for one am so thankful you are OK . God bless Jimmy

[ariley13]

Welcome back! I am fairly new here and never got the chance to know you. I am so happy you are doing ok. You have a wonderful support system in that husband of yours! You enjoy your time with him and all of your babies! Take care. I look forward to getting to know you. :)

[ImDONENoMore]

You will - but given all the people you've helped here, I'm pretty sure we owe you :)

[Bkitty2]

Thank You all! I am feeling all of the comfort you are giving me. I need that and it has helped me. I hope to repay this someday again soon. (((hugs)))

[10356]

I 2nd what ImDoneNoMore wrote. I was looking for the words and there they were !! Getting well feels selfish, it is not it is necessary, go at your pace BKitty as said above and know that you have support at anytime.. I bet your fur babies are so Happy you are home !! I think getting out in Nature is a Great idea, I always feel better in my spirit.. You will get back to where you were but this time it will be what you want for yourself not what everyone else wants.. It is hard for us to do this but it is what we need to do.. I hope you have a good evening..

[toothfairie]

So glad to see you back here girl!!!  You just take time for you...we will be waiting with open arms when you decide to post more....So happy and grateful you are feeling better!!  (((hugs)))  

[ImDONENoMore]

Hi kitty - I know you and I don't talk a lot separately from the forum, but I have kept you in my thoughts and prayers.  I've always seen you as a pretty amazing person, the work you do, the love you have for your family and your furry "kids" (me too!  I love my baby) - and you're finding the help you need and it takes a lot of courage to do that.  I really respect that.

I guess I just wanted to say, don't let yourself feel pressured right now to feel what you think you're supposed to feel, or to do what you think you're supposed to be doing.  Allow yourself to focus on just you for a while.  You're worth it, and you deserve some peace in your life.  And I know you'll get there. :)

[1sorryperson]

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