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Avatar universal

Help, husband quit smoking pot very crabby!

OK guys, I need some advice please! My husband has been a daily pot smoker since he was 13. We've been married 8 years and he's tried to quit 3 times. Never for long but always a complete jerk to my kids and myself  but, I used to have my pills to escape his extreme irritability. Well he quit again 2 weeks ago. It sucks!!! He's been an ass to me this whole time but he wants me to be with him to make him feel better,if you know what I mean. He says he'll make it up to me. It is sooo hard for me to give him a break. He lives for our kids and is the responsible one in our relationship. The problem is he lets me know it ALL THE TIME. I have never smoked pot so does anyone have any comments on how long this will last. What should I expect as far as withdrawel? He's seen me detox at home sooo many times but I was never mean to him. I should be grateful that we will both finally be clean for our kids. I think I'm afraid I'll relapse because he makes me feel so badly about myself when he's like this. I can do nothing right you know? How can I help him get through this without losing my own sanity in the meantime?
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1333247 tn?1275446852
I have been smoking Marijuana daily for almost 8 years. I started when I was 14 years old. I am currently 22. I started smoking because all my friends where doing it; it was the "cool thing" to do. Prior to smoking I was always on the honor roll I was the class president, and captain of the girl’s varsity track and cross-country team. As I began smoking more and more I started to notice that my grades started slipping and I was never on time for class. I started to bunk school and got into a lot more trouble. My parents did not know what to think of me. I would never go home I was always late for curfew. I remember at one point I did not go home for a week. I was starting to think about dropping out of school but then I got pregnant and decided to finish. My daughter will be 5 in just a few weeks. I had tried to quit before back in 2008, so I order this audio program that was suppose to have 100% success rate. Yeah what a bunch of BS that was. As soon as I heard the guy talk I shut it off, I could not even understand what the guy was saying. I knew that I had wasted my money. I quit for about a day and started smoking again. I know people say that you can not get addicted to pot but I do not know for some reason I knew I was. It was weird; I had never wanted something so bad. However five months ago I decided that enough was enough I knew I needed to quit. I could not afford my habit anymore.  I was spending all my money on pot rather than rent, food or anything else that is of prime importance. So I decided to quit. I went 2 days without smoking and then I noticed that I started to have anxiety attacks, became depressed and I was really nausea. I began to have cold sweats and just felt really weak. I started getting angry for no reason. I knew something was wrong. I really wanted to smoke but I knew that I needed to quit so I could better my life. I called my doctor and he said that I should try to pick up a hobby and he said that he could prescribe me something for the anxiety. I started drawing and I refused to take the prescription. I do not really like to put anything in my body that is not natural. I do not even like to take Tylenol when I have a headache. Picking up a hobby did not help at all.  I knew that I could not quit "cold turkey" so I started to look on the internet to figure out what I could do. I came across a website Maritox.com and it completely changed my life. I now have a great job, I have more energy to play with my daughter and I am back in school to be a personal trainer. If I can give any advice to the people out there that struggle trying to quit on there own or trying to find a good job, it would be to check out Maritox. I loved Maritox because it was all natural and not a chemical that is addictive and it is for those who want to quit smoking marijuana without being hooked on another drug. It actually helped with all my side effects that I was feeling while I was quitting. It is just like taking a daily vitamin or supplement. I am not saying that quitting is for everyone and I am not saying that everyone can get addicted to marijuana but I know for sure that I was and the only thing that helped was Maritox. I have not smoked in four months. Thank you for listening to my story. I would like to wish the best of luck to everyone that WANTS to quit.
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Avatar universal
yeah, it may be good to seek professional help and see what the doctor says.  this could be a very tough thing to have him withdrawel from.  how do your kids feel about him being on pot?
i guess it could be like withdrawel from whatever the rest of us are on like caffeine or smoking cigs, etc.  if he has been doing this forever and just stops of course i think i would be moody too and it is such a change for your body.  but, he shouldn't be treating you badly and tell him to get help professionally because, you and the kids need to be treated better.  prayers are with your family.
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Avatar universal
Well, I don't know what to say except that we all have to make our own choices about where we feel comfortable and where we feel placing our energy is most productive.

I found that coming here when I was trying to get clean, and being met with unconditional acceptance was what helped me most to get clean.  The friendships and support I've found here have helped me stay clean.  But, it is still a daily choice, and sometimes writing about what is going on in my life, my job, my husband etc is part of what helps me stay clean, knowing that I've got a place where folks who care will listen and support.

I've said it a million times. It is different for everyone.

Groovy I wish you the best that life has to offer, whether you continue to post among us or choose to go elsewhere.  I feel that any addict who has the desire to find recovery is welcome here, and hope that we can all be patient and kind enough to each other to help us all get to wherever we need to be.  

There was a time when I was in conflict with some people here, and when I posted about a very close call with relapse (pills in hand ready to take them...) those I was in conflict with jumped in with support and helpful words. They put aside the 'stuff' we were dealing with and just gave me help, addict to addict.  It still brings tears to my eyes when I remember those posts. That kind of unconditional acceptance, even from folks who got pissed at me for some stuff, is what keeps me here, and helps me stay on my path.

Like Kip, I'm not about choosing sides.  I do try as best I can to be about speaking Truth with compassion. I'll miss you if you go, but I trust you to know what is best for you.

love,
WW
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Avatar universal
you have showed me the error of my ways many times in the past, and i have never gotten defensive because you choose your words carefully and never have the intent to destroy a person.  that being said, i think that some of my comments were, altho perhaps harsh, well-intentioned and truthful.  some perhaps weren't.  i have learned that i am not welcome here (except for maybe by you), and that i am sick and tired of being sick and tired of this place. even when my posts aren't directed at a particular person, certain people consistently jump in and give me negative feedback.  it's as tho because i never post to them, they will do anything to get my attention - even be cruel.  i have turned into a person (at least here) that i don't like.  i try very hard in "real" life to not get into petty arguments.  i almost never do with people i don't care about because they are just not worth it to me...i should have done the same here.

you have my email address i believe, and i'd love to hear more from you.  i can use CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, and that is usually what you give me.  thanks skipper - i hope you continue to fight the good fight.
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Avatar universal
i wasn't going to answer, but since it's you and i've always respected your opinion, i will.  angst has always thrown little digs at me including her post about "groovy's forum" etc, etc.  i don't understand how you could not think there was anything antagonistic there, but to each his own.  i have been on the receiving end of too many negative posts this past week, and i for one don't think this place is worth my continuing to defend myself.  most of my "friends" have left anyhow, and no one here likes to hear the truth.  i can't believe some of the bull i read here, and many people looking for help only want to be sympathized with, not hear the cold, harsh truth of what it's going to take to get out of the cycle.  i wanted to leave months ago, but skipper told me that helping others was the way to repay being helped, so i tried to do that.  no one wants the "tough love" kind of help, and would rather discuss their jobs, drugs and whatever.  so good luck to you all - i hope you all end up "doing" something to help yourselves rather than "typing" a daily diary here.
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Avatar universal
groovy:
i certainly hope this is not the last correspondence we share with each other. i have watched with growing concern the "fundamentalist intolerance" and bewilderment of your posts for sometime now. the last thing i wish to do is take your inventory, and put down a list of things that hinder your recovery. if i were into such games, i would instead of posting, attend one of the most vicious AA meeetings in my geographic area. this meeting speacialiszes in "blood-letting and witch burning. it is run by a getstapo of step police who stop at nothing.... all in the  guise of recovery!

ya' know the really funny (funny odd and funny ha, ha) thing about "tough love kind of help," is i enjoy dispenceing it far more than i do recieveing it. be patient wtih us (and yourself), see god is not anywhere near done with you or i or anyone.

i know that it can be very frustratating trying to help someone who would rather, instead of talk of recovery, talk of other things. but dear friend jobs, drug consumption, the state of our love life, and all the other superficial matters are also to some extent very important parts of recovery.

groovy, 20 years ago a man (who has since died clean) let me in
on a little secret about understanding addicts. want to know how
to quickly find out about what's bothering an addict? it is not
what they are talking about so much as what they are not talking
about....

i choose no sides here...that is simply not what i am about. i
value your friendship and respect every bit as much as i do the
same from angst or witchy woman.

sometime back witchwoman helped me to learn that i can agree to
disagree with someone, and still hold them as very dear friends!
like it or not i took one step closer to being a mature adult. i
will never be able to compenssate her for this favor, except by
being the kind of friend she was to me to everyone (esp. her)
else in my life!

keep an angel on your shoulder
kip
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Avatar universal
sorry to hear the bad news. i am finally employed.  it is not the
most important job, but i like it.  i hope things settle down around the forum.  i wonder if i am useful at helping others as one addict to another.  i can try.  i also will be posting less as i work more.  good to hear you posting.  good luck with the injection.  i hope it gives you relief.  you know what is best.
Ava
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Avatar universal
I have a question.  Did your husband's pot smoking interfere in your lives?  Pot smoking in itself seems fairly harmless.  It isn't physically addicting.  It is pretty good for pain from what I hear.  If my husband smoked pot, I probably wouldn't care too much as long as he didn't do it around children or in the house - because it stinks!  However, it it took over his entire life and made him unable to function, then I could see why you'd be forcing him to quit.  Well, I hope he is able to overcome this, and with your support he should be able to.
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Avatar universal
Skip, I hope things are going ok for you and Irish Rose, you are both in my thoughts a lot and I hope things are not too hectic.
I'm ok...but just ok. My husband was laid off last week from his job, and we can't make the bills on just my salary. He got one month severance, and we are praying that is enough time to find a better job. He hated the commute, but liked his work. The company had to lay off 50% of its employees due to posting losses. The Software industry is having tough times. So , I'm terrified, and trying to hold my ground and not crumble.

I've been to two Doctors in the past week, both of whom want to put me on oxy, even after telling them I'm an addict. LOL  It's too bizarre.  Needless to say, I said no to the oxy.  Tuesday I go in for a facet joint inject, which might greatly reduce my back pain. That would be a blessing I"m willing to accept!!

Groovy, angst's post had nothing in it against you.  I don't understand your reaction.  You are a valued member here, so are many others. We can't all agree, and we've got to be able to express opinions that differ without explosions happening over it.

One of my biggest constant lessons is to try to not take things personally. I fail at it a lot, but it gets easier the more I try.  Just try to let it roll off your back and not assume that if someone posts something kind toward michael or someone you are in conflict with, that does not in anyway mean they are against you.  Just try to breathe deeply and know that we do care about you and want you here and really hope the conflict can settle down. You've got a lot to offer, and I hope that you can get the support you deserve here as well. Just try to not take things personally and try to not make assumptions.  I know it's hard, I have a hard time with it to, and in fact am afraid that I'm just going to make you mad by writing this. But I'm writing it out of love and I hope you can see that.

Everyone else....I'll be on and off here..hubbie needs the computer a lot to look for a job, since his was stolen when our house was broken into last month (it's been a really bad month...)  I've got to try to not fall into the depression that is trying to take over.

love to all,
WW
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Avatar universal
i take what i can use and leave the rest.  i also believe most of
us learned what we needed to get along in kindergarten.  basic
civil treatment of others on this ever shrinking planet.  i am a
drug addict.  there is no greater help than one addict helping
another addict.  that is my reason for being on this forum.  i
have made alliances, they know i was down for the wire in getting a job.  i enjoyed telling them i got one and not so bad of one.  i used to be a nurse, but i'm not on SSI or living off my exhusband.  i am making my own way.  the na text talks about us becoming productive members of society.  i hope to do better, but i am okay for now.  i hope some people are glad for me.
if you wish me ill, then you are only hurting yourself.  i wish you the best of life.  i do not take sides.  i only think it would be a waste if some people quit the forum.  that is it.
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Avatar universal
i thought we were done with the digs/fighting here.  why don't we move on ok?  if you are one of the pro-michael people, why don't you post to him, and you can just forget all about me?  that would be wonderful!
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Avatar universal
i hope you keep lurking and put your two cents worth in when needed.  you are needed here.  no one else has the information you do.  it would be a great loss not only to us recovering addicts, chronic pain patients and people with questions, but to
the new posters with questions groovy cannot answer.  thank you
for enlightening all of us at times.  i will miss your ability to
speak the truth about a medication, mixtures, and your own condition.  God bless you,  Ava
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
groovy:
the sun is out here...it's torqueing it'self up to be a real stiker by late afternoon, so rain actually sounds good. earlyer this week i spent a few days with my wife in Duluth, Minnesota. the day i arived the temp was 81*. all the crazy sweedes (well jessie is their govenor) were ecstatic about the "heat wave." temps returned to the low 60's i only wished my dog woud have been with us. the lake has 3 tiers of paved paths along the urban shorline... this is one of the most beautiful places the upper mid-west has to offer.

i thought you would see a big pay off with the carpal-tunnel surgery. i awake every morning with the fingers of both hands tingleing like half numb sausages....sometimes it last all day. i'm not real upset by it as neck surgery is king kong compared to the minor discomfort. i hope your feeling beter, you deserve it....one more thing (and don't take this the wrong way)

just keep an angel on your shoulder,
never mind what the SAD FOLKS say
never throw your dreams away
for they will save your life one day

kip
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Avatar universal
it's a rainy saturday morning where i am.  how is everyone feeling today?  i can use my right hand for typing now.  carpal tunnel surgery is really a snap.

i am continuing to taper the bup, and my hope is that it will all just be a memory in a couple months.  how is everyone else doing?  

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Avatar universal
Come on people I come here to get advice & hopefully find a way to get myself off this sickening boat ride, if I wanted a soap opera I would turn on the tube in the afternoon!!! PLEASE stop this petty bickering and do something constructive---how about an addict-chat room. I would prefer a discussion in real time...
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Avatar universal
witchywoman:

yes, it can get rather unpleasent here at times. it's good to hear
from someone who isn't caught up in whatever it is now.

irish rose is still in Duluth. she is due back tomarrow night. i
went the the whole day without oxy...felt ok till about 20 minutes
ago...took .2 mg bup. i was sort of hopping i'ld get by without
anything...maybe later this week.

how are you? i hope your household is doing fine, have you gotten a
dog yet? i'ld be lost without mine!

keep an angel on your shoulder!
kip
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Avatar universal
Like I said, unfinished business.  It is obvious you are an instigater, your last post shows that.  What you should do is apologize to 7477 or whatever the number is for overreacting.  Still can't help but see that you are the only one who called that post a drug seeking post.
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Avatar universal
I'm confused about the heat here too Kip.  I don't understand what's up, but the simple solution is to just get back to supporting each other. We're just like all other human beings, our buttons get pushed sometimes, we all can get defensive. But let's remember we're all in the same boat.  Sometimes it is the very ability to get angry that helps us recover. If we get as pissed off at our addiction as we do at each other sometime, and use that anger to fight the Dragon, we can get farther faster. My humble opinion.

We don't all have to agree with each other or like what each other says all the time.  Agreeing to disagree is what I've heard it called.  ;-)

This place, like other places, has its cycles with moods and tempers flaring from time to time. There's no escaping that anywhere, as far as I can tell. But this is a darn good place, that saved me and while I may not post that often, I care about all of us here.

love,
WW
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Avatar universal
you're still here?
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Avatar universal
What gives is that people should be able to ask a simple question without being jumped on for it.  7477 or whatever simply asked if it was possible for one generic to be stronger than another....that was it!  I agree with not having people asking drug seeking questions, but I don't see the foul there.  That was a perfectly innocent question.  And, with the way that this forum is operating, the only way to be heard is to break into a thread.  If there was a limit on the number of questions allowed, then I could see where breaking in might be a problem.  But, there isn't.  There are people who rely on this board for their own sobriety and expecting to wait for their .001% chance of being able to ask a question is unreasonable.
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Avatar universal
ok, i give up. would someone please tell me what the hell every-
one is so upset and unhappy about? last saturday my wife went to
do some work in Duluth, Minnesota. we had a terriable argument
right before she left. when she called me saturday night we both
were very remorseful. after hearing about 60* temps, it didn't
take much to convince me to hop a plane the next day to join her.
(did i mention the weather was in the mid 90s here?) i got back
home wed. night/thursday morning to find the people on this forum
at each others throats. what gives? i can be as difficult as the
next person, but in the 1 year plus i've frequented this forum, i
have never seen so many unhappy people. what gives?

get an angel on your shoulders
kip
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Avatar universal
well I'm not going to argue about who said what first, and Like I said, I was just excited to here that one of these names on this forum was close by "physically".  but as we both realized quickly, we really didn't see eye to eye at all.  

GETTING BACK TO THE TRUE FUNCTIONALITY OF THIS FORUM.........

Groovy, how are your husband and daughter? most importantly, how are you? I know you have been using Buprenex as a substitute for hydros and that what was supposed to be a taper, slowly became another addiction.  That happens to us all, but what now? are you going to really try and stop, or just keep where you are now?
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Avatar universal
E-mail me at ***@**** and I'll get you there.  Groovy, this all started because you gave someone hell over asking whether it is possible for one generic to be stronger than another.  The real reason you were mad at them was because of butting into the thread.  You have been trumpeting this for awhile now.  There was nothing nasty in what I posted, I just posted the truth.  Stop trying to act like the victim here, you're not.  That person who asked the question you bashed asked a completely legit question.  I get the generic ms contin because I think it is stronger than the brand.  So, now am I not allowed here?  I don't want to be anyway, but there seemed to be unfinished business.  I didn't say I wanted to leave so people could jump on my side.  In another thread, you cried because someone agreed with me.  I didn't threaten to leave there, did I?  That person wasn't looking where to score anything or anything remotely like that.  You had no business saying anything to them like that.  If you are truly out to help people, then you would want people to ask questions.  There is no limit to the amount of posts, so why not?  And, are you a moderator or admin here?
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Avatar universal
it was i who said i thought we should ONLY speak via the forum, and then you seemed to get p.o'd about it. you didn't seem to understand why i felt that way, and it was because you got too personal...wanting to know where my husband and i worked, etc.  whatever....all being said and done i wish you well in your recovery, and i hope one of these times you will make it. good luck
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