Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
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Avatar universal

Help Me :(

just got back home and ive had a few drinks. i know drinking is a trigger for me sometimes so I KNOW im an idiot. i have been hit with a craving so bad im not sure i can stay strong tonight. it's so easy for me to get and right now im in coke mode and i could not give a **** whether i relapsed or not right now. i already texted him and i can't believe i just did that. pure rock he said, YUMMY. there is a small ounze of my brain telling me to fight, but in coke mode i don't want to fight, i want to get high. almost 8 months clean minus one slip and i get hit with this ******* craving. serves me right for drinking, i deserve this. I HATE BEING AN ADDICT. i can smell coke, i can taste coke, and my nose is twitching for coke. :(  i know deep down somewhere i don't want to do this, life has been so good again. ****. i need some help. how do i stay strong tonight. ive learned all the tools to stay clean on medhelp, but somehow not sure if it's enough. please help me, im afraid.
37 Responses
435658 tn?1257805781
Hon i am so sorry for you...you have to stay on this forum and we will talk with you all night and keep you away from it...you have done so good, dont do this to yourself!!!!
It is the addict in you that is saying you dont care but you do care or you wouldnt of done so good and tried so hard and helped so many not to relapse. It will pass, fight with everything you have... FIGHT CHRIS FIGHT IT! stay on and dont leave us
435658 tn?1257805781
Just talk to me chris, others will come
Avatar universal
What you mean "yummy" are you serious? Please listen to me man just cut out those thoughts if you serious about this sober life. I can relate i used heroin for one and a half years everyday and am now almost six months sober. Its the times like these that prove wether or not you are ready to do this and are so serious about it nothing will hold you down. Get through this one and the next one is easier than this one because you have done it before. Calm your thoughts down i understand once the wheel is turning it is tough but think of the positives that come with being clean. is a pure rock going to run your life because the only person that should run your life is you. Be strong and with time things get easier i promise you on my life that if you get some time under your belt with the proper mindset you will feel better. i am here for you at any time i understand the feeling to the fullest so i can offer you my empathy. Write back if you see this ASAP and stay strong until you see this DONT USE until you atleast hear me out.
435658 tn?1257805781
R u still there.........call cathy i dont have her no.  you promised her you would call her if this happend... call her
175734 tn?1225134440
Hold strong dude....I know i'm not the best guy to give advice......But try to hold strong!!!!!!!!!
412194 tn?1233621532
Lil Brother DON'T YOU DO IT!  IM me if you need to talk!  I love ya and need you to stay clean and fight this PLEASE?????????  You are better than this.  You helped me now come talk to me.
Avatar universal
"life ain't nuttin but a long extended road, keep drivin
I done passed up plenty people up on the side of road, no help, keep goin
Yea...Lost a lot of passengers on the ride, kept goin...yep...
who knows when I'll run outta gas. Yea." Lil Wayne

This might seem foolish if rap is not your forte of music, however the satement can be interpeted in any way espically one in the position of a clean life with fear of using again.
Life is long and there is only one of them NO DRESS REHERSAL, so it is up to you and your mindset and positive influences to stay the course you have been on for seven moths and GET OVER THE HILL. Break through for yourself by eliminating negative thoughts when they arrive. Talk to me Man Give me a chance atleast hear me out.
Avatar universal
i made my phone call to someone that i was craving, didn't help. i don't even want to talk right now. im doing my best here ok. ty for talking, this is a baaaaaaaaaaaaad one. right now just frustrated a craving can be this strong after 7 months. once a cokehead always a cokehead i guess, im fighting right now so hard
435658 tn?1257805781
Chris i am sorry i couldnt help when you called i am trying....Listen you have come to far do you really want to **** this up? NO i dont think so, fight this with everything you have, it will pass and you will feel so great that you made it another day.
Listen to NikyBones talk it out with him...PM him.....talk before you act.
You asked for help and we are here and now you are telling us to leave you alone, no it dosnt work like that...we care damit and you cant tell us when to turn it on and when to turn it off. Talk to someone. If i couldnt help maybe someone else can.
435658 tn?1257805781
if you dont get back on and talk i will call you agian and i dont think you want that lol.
Talk to us.
Avatar universal
Gizzy, just yesterday you congratulated me on 60 days, Today I would like to sincerly congratulate you on over 7 months, hold on to that man, you should be so proud.... that was and is a hard thing to do
don't give in to it now because you know you can gut it out.!!!!
I remember you told me on time when I was craving badly to put your mind someplace else. listen to music, take a hot bath, GO TO BED, Watch  a movie take your mind off of this DEMON.
Do anything you can not to give in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    I am in your corner.

453714 tn?1211999370
dont give in bro even in coke mode i know you are smart enough to realize you will deeply regret using when you wake up 2morow if you sleep that is. read your journals about relapsing
Avatar universal
im still here and clean, ty for all the support. im one miserable **** right now though. thinking i might get through this, but it really really suckssssssssss.
Avatar universal
bro, only someone that has been where you are really knows the **** ya fightin right now. you know that life on dope sux, we both do. but the sad fact is that when ya play as long n hard as we have, no matter how much you love bein sober coke will try and try to make ya fall. but you have all been here to lift me up, and ya know im here for you. i hope that talkin helped, but if ya are still miserable and need to talk, CALL ME!! nothin im doin at ne time is more important than helpin a bro stay sober, nothing. so keep ya chin up n holla atcha bro if ya need me.. MUCH LOVE
401095 tn?1351391770
go to the health pages...print and read the craving intervention article by cathy....it helps me...put it on ur frig tonight and read it and read it...write down the reasons u quit...dont cave giz
452063 tn?1324074916
I was right were you are almost 4 weeks ago only had a little over 2 mos clean though. I had cravings blindside me out of nowhere. Thing that's different is I acted and although I only used a small amount(2-5 pills a day) for 8 out of 10 days I had WDs from [email protected] I sat around 2 weeks ago Saturday having soo much trouble keeping my suicide plan out of my head. I (who started here posting that I would rather die than go to NA and tell my family) Told my son and bf and googled NA, found a meeting and went that night sweating and shaking like a dying pig. Can't say that I felt cured or awakened but such a knowing of this is where I need to be came over me. I've gone to 15 meetings in 15 days and got a sponcer and started to read the literatute they have and am seeing so many things in myself . I don't even know if this is going to stop this evil disease in me but I promise you that EVERY meeying I leave(even the ones with some shakey kinda people) I feel such a sense of peace, love and understanding. You can go to an NA meeting and just sit and listen to familiarise yourself with them. If this happens to me again I have a long list of members names and phone numbers that I can call and they will be right here or will get me to the next meeting where I can feel that for at least that hour I won't use and if I feel like I still want to they will stay with me till it passed. This addiction is going to kill me if I don't learn everything I can to be stronger than it. Glad you're still clean. It will pass. Don't make the same mistake I did. Pray for the thought to go away and remember that it is just a thought and thoughts can't hurt or kill you. Acting on them can and will.All thoughts pass. I'm sending prayers and positives your way. GBU, Corey
Avatar universal
you can do this.

think about how you will feel tomorrow.  it won't be pretty.

all you have to do is get through tonight.  that's all - tonight.

tomorrow is another day and you can choose whatever you please.

but right now - tonight is what you got.  and you have a choice to make.  one you will truly regret.  one, you will feel that much more empowered, when you wake up tomorrow. and proud.

i KNOW what choice you are going to make.

stay strong, my friend...

306455 tn?1288862071
Please decide not to use tonight....just tonight. I'm sure you are man enough to fight for one night.
Just hold off...go to bed and sleep, and just get thru this night.  Tommorrow will be a new day and a new attitude.
Avatar universal
You congratulated me on my 6 months clean this a.m.  Thanks, it's deeply appreciated.  Now, I want to offer you a little support, I'll try anyway.  Perhaps I shouldn't since I'm one of the fortunate few that hasn't had any cravings, or urge to use since I quit.  I don't understand the feeling, and hope I never experience it.  However, here it goes.  I know you had some drinks & alcohol is one of your triggers.  I think that once the alcohol is out of your system, the craving will ease immensely.  I've read many times that alcohol makes many addicts again want thier DOC.  Alcohol 'turns on' the parts of our brain that signals cravings.  So, just white knuckle & hang on until the alcohol is out of your system.  I don't know how much you had, but the worst should be over 6-7 hours after your last drink, I would think.  Also, try some excercise.  I know someone who quit using, and would literally run himself to exhaustion when a craving hit.  He said it helped immensely.  Also, follow the above suggestion to write down all the reasons you got clean & keep the list right next to you.  I hope this helps you some...As my Mom told me many times when I was having a rough spot in life..."and this too, shall pass.."  BTW: Congrats on 7 plus months :)
340590 tn?1290952141
chris you can and will do this.  absolutely do something to distract your addict brain.  anything to get out of coke mode.  you know i understand...right now it is on minute at a time...for this minute you wont use....worry about the next minute later...please dont use...the guilt will not be worth it tomorrow......i love ya
Avatar universal
You can do this, you know you can - distract yourself, rely on the strength you have.  Once an addict, always an addict???? That's bullsh.. and you know it.  Look, hang in there, we learn, we grow - you can get past this, I hope you are able to fight off this craving - it sounds horrible, but it is not bigger than life - it will pass, tomorrow will come.
Look back at the posts you have sent to me - the encouragement you have given me - what we fight is that instant gratification, that need to feel the rush - but the reason we are here is because the price we pay is too high.  Why did you quit, what brought you here?

Avatar universal
I wish I was on here three hours ago when you first posted. You are a great guy with a terrible addiction. It happens.You know your triggers and you recognized that you were in trouble. I am so proud of you for posting and for not going through with it tonight.  Being in "coke mode" is one of the scariest feelings in the world and being clean for over a month now, it has become my biggest fear. Some "dork" told me to recognize when when I am feeling weak and post before I get into that mode. I am sorry that you had to get to that point tonight, but you made it. You are another day stronger and you WILL beat this. Never forget your reasons for stopping and ride that opened your eyes. You're tough but please dont forget to ask for help when you need it. We love you around here and we are routing for you in a big way. Stay strong!
Avatar universal
ok im gonna pass out now, lmao. still clean from coke and i know im gonna wake up feeling sooooooooooooo good. ty for all the support. freaky when things in life r so good, yet can still b hit with a craving like this. have to still b clean when my "friend " gets here:)
352798 tn?1399298154
Hey gizz. You know it would've been a bad idea if you succumbed, but you didn't. Way to go. You once again are showing your strength. Good job.
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495284 tn?1333894042
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