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3133931 tn?1342600608

Help from pain meds...

Hi y'all.....This is my first time on this sight and I have been reading ton's of post for about 2 hours now & decided to sign up so I could post.I just don't know what to do or where to turn? All I know is something HAS to change...OVER 2 years ago I slipped and fell face first.Husband took me to ER cause I was in so much pain and it was hard to breath and I KNEW something was wrong! They said I fractured all my ribs on my left side.They gave me precocet,which I have been on many times before....I followed up with my Doc and as I healed I noticed I had HORRIBLE pain in my lower back that shot down my left leg,and my left leg was partly numb.I went back to Doc who noticed a bruise on my lower left back.He sent me for MRI,ect..come to find out I herniated a disk.Cant remember which one but it was lower left back....The hell had started! From there I was sent to a back Doc who sent me to pain management for 3 months of injections and physical theropy BEFORE he would do surgery! This whole time they kept me stocked up on 7.5/325 percocet and 350mg soma's!  The percocet was 2 every 4 hours and 3 soma a day! Pain was so bad I took more then I should have.months later they did surgery for the disk...after surgery my back seemed better for a few weeks then got worse!! So it was another round of back injections and physical theropy...During this I called my Doc like normal for a pain refill,and the nurse said Doc said to go ahead and get it from pain management! So I did.....Next thing I know I got a call from my regular Doc's nurse telling me they will not see anymore cause I was getting scripts from them AND the pain doc.I explained that my regular Doc's nurse told me 3 days ago to go ahead and get my refill from pain Doc but seems they had NO record of that and said they were calling pain place to let them know what I was doing! I was in tears cause now these 2 Doc's thought I was using the system to get pills.....I searched for a new Doc whom I found and a new back Doc who I found as well in a different town 1 hour from my home!....it's now over 2 years later and I realize i'm so addicted to these med's that with out them I can not function!! My back doc has done so many test I feel like a pin cushion and I can't remember what the name of it I have,but they talked about fusion surgery and stuff but they want to try this stimulator in my back first to see if it will help control the pain.took over 6 months for insurance to approve surgery BUT in the mean time I found the pain so bad that I am getting 240 7.5/325 perc's & Soma from my regular doc and 120 15mg morphine pills and 90 10mg pills of baclofen from my back Doc!  neither Doc knows I get pills from the other and I go though the percs in 12 to 14 days and morphine in 10 days and soma in 7 days....These pain meds have just gotten out of control!!.......Im a baby when it comes to pain,but besides pain,without them I just want to die!! I can't take this anymore and just want to be normal again!! I have surgery on the 23rd on this month for the trial for the stimulator but they told me it was a 50/50 chance it would work and if it does not,not to worry thats theres other surgerys they can try......I cant do this anymore.my WHOLE life revolves around pain meds! Trips,getting together with friends even setting up a day to meet with my 11 year old son's teacher I have to make sure I will have enough pain meds first cause if not I have to wait till I get a new script or I cant function! My marrage is suffering.....my son is a angel who is bullied so bad at school and tells me all the time he loves me and hopes my back gets fixed soon and now will when he ask's do things like goto the lake,he say's,"Mom will you have enough pain meds so we can goto the lake this weekend?" I just cry all the time cause this is not fair to him at all? What do I do? I KNOW i'm addicted! My regular Doc has told me she will wean me off the pain meds after my back is fixed and not to worry,but I am worried when im taking 2 months worth of pills in less then a month! Any advice would be so awesome! I feel so embarrased posting about this :( I have been on percs before for broken bones...5 years ago when for 2nd and 3rd degree burns on my whole left leg and other surgerys...After the burns I did get some what addicted,but 7 months after burn when doc KNEW I didnt need them anymore and cut me off I went though horrible withdrawals but got it in my head,hey thats it no more but then found myself drinking ALOT! What do I do? Any suggestions?......and sorry to bug everyone with my problems..........
12 Responses
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2218783 tn?1357571081
I am so sorry You are going through all this I actually read your Post Twice.I Really hope this taper works for you.  This Dr. is willing to help you I hope you use the help and get off the pills.
I also hope you are feeling better soon this is no way to live.
My heart goes out to you. and even though you got caught Dr shopping it just seems cruel for Dr to cut you off on such a high dosage there has to be another way?
You are truly in the right place to get the support you need to get better please read the forum you will see there are alot of people on here that can offer so much support and advice. This wont be easy as you know the mental part is hard but you can do it.  Take it day by day each day is a new day and you just have to  have the desire to stop and dont give up . I am asking God to help you give you the strength you need to get through this Please feel free to post or message me anytime. God bless you <3
Helpful - 0
1416133 tn?1351123217
I'm so sorry you're going through all of this.  My only concern is that you're still chasing Dr.'s to get what you need.  That's the behavior that needs to stop - believe me, I remember those days and I did the same thing.  And I felt like you do - it just got to be TOO much and I finally had to say enough was enough, "ImDoneNoMore".

Good luck to you - and please, don't misunderstand what I'm saying.  I hope you're feeling better soon and are able to find a way off the drugs.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I had to a sign up once I read your post. This sounds just like me and what I am going through. To make an extremely long story somewhat short I am currently on oxycodone 30mg tablets taking 8-12 a day. I was taking more than 20 pills a day about 2 weeks ago and had been doing this for over a year. I have ovarian cancer stage 3 that I was diagnosed with a few months ago but I have been on pain pills for 6 years due to back issues and a back surgery. I had herniated disks and needed to have the surgery to shave it down. This helped the nerve pain but not the dull aching constant pain that I have. I am a mother of 3 children and have a wonderful supportive husband. I started off taking vicodin 5/500 (4) tablets a day with tramadol about 6yrs ago and about 2 yrs. ago I went on oxycodone 15mgs (4) a day then over a yr. ago went on 30mg  prescribed 8 day but quickly taking so much more. There were days that I would take 40 pills!! When I take this much I am not passed out on the sofa, I am instead very productive and attentive to my children. I know that this is in an addicts mind and I may be a little “off” to others. Taking them now has become so much of a need to function. I understand when you say that everything revolves around them and your activities. I am the same way it’s like well can I do that, will I have enough pills? It’s become my every thought and I have put so much effort into getting them. Back in February I was determined to get off of them so I went to see a suboxone doctor. You have to go 24hrs with no narcotics and then you are induced with the medication. You feel a whole lot better as far as the physical withdrawals, but what I couldn’t seem to deal with was the mental blah feeling that I couldn’t get over. I went 12 days on suboxone and then back on the pain meds because I couldn’t handle the blah, down feeling. I swore I was going to take less but I jumped right back up. Last week I had chemotherapy and that next day I was going through horrific withdrawals because I no longer have a primary care doc due to being discharged for medication abuse and dr. shopping. I went 3 days w/o any narcotics and it was horrendous!!!!!!!! I just wanted to die!!!!!! I called the pain clinic and they called me in clonidine and klonopin which helped me stay asleep but really they were worthless against the withdraws. I ended up going to the urgent care and got enough to get through until tomorrow. I am out again and scared to death!!! I had been searching for another Primary care doc and I found one willing to take on my chronic pain. I met with her Monday and I told her that I wanted to wean off the medication because I wasn’t happy being dependent on something. I didn’t tell her that I had been previously discharged by numerous clinics or that I had Dr. Shopped. She said she would be willing to do a VERY slow taper I am usually prescribed 8 a day so she said she would start with 7 a day and go from there. I have been weaning myself slowly going from 20 to 8-12 a day so I have done really well myself so I felt that a taper would be the easiest way to do this. She said she would first need my records before prescribing medication so she said she would call me when it was ready to pick up. She wanted records from my oncologist as well who knows EVERYTHING about my addiction; he refuses to prescribe narcotics to me. It’s now Wednesday and I had not heard a thing so I called a few hours ago and was told by the receptionist that they did receive a letter from my oncologist and she was going to forward to the Doctor to review and that she would be giving me a call. I can only imagine what that letter says. During the 3 days that I was w/o medication I also called a doctor that I had many years ago and told her that I was looking for someone that was willing to do a tapering dose with me. She actually called me personally and said she would but her taper is going to be FAST so I will have to endure the pain or withdraws. I have an appointment with her in the morning so I figured if this doctor doesn’t call me back today I would just go with the other doc and do a faster wean. I am lucky that there is anyone out there willing to help me anymore. But ya know once you are in this situation most doctors leave you high and dry and say “sorry we can’t help” but you we do need help!!! It’s something that brings you close to suicide. I can’t wait to be free from these things. I think I will always crave them because honestly I love the way they make me feel. I just hate what they are doing to my life. When I was diagnosed with cancer it really helped me deal with the fact that I only have a 15% chance of living longer than 5 years. There was no other hidden, underlying reason that I abuse the medication. The only thing that I have found that helps the withdraws are suboxone and then you still have the mental depression which really stinks. Also they saw suboxone is harder to get off of then the oxycodones. I have done a lot of research on the web about tapering and most people that do it don’t have a relapse. I really wish you luck and I think maybe we can help each other since we can relate to one another.
Helpful - 0
2107676 tn?1388973859
Yes, mention it to the nurse and tell her that you are concerned about your liver.  Great idea.  They can do a liver function test through blood work.
I don't know if the doctor has to order it but I imagine if they are doing blood work they may check it anyway.
You have been in severe pain and this is not your fault so make sure you take care of yourself and get your doctor to take care of you too.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi kitkat, Your not alone. Most of us got ourselves into this situation from suffering real pain. You've been dealt with many physical hardships over the last few years, sorry for that. I agee with the above poster to wait until the stimulater is inserted and let the Dr. wean you from these meds. I swear to you that if your like most , your pain 1 month off of meds will improve. It is like the pills cause rebound pain that is unescapable. Not to frighten you, but seeing 2 Dr. for refills now will catch up to you. It is all on a national database and even if paying with cash, a printout is sent to your Dr's listing all controlled substances you are prescribed. Just FYI. About your son, I know that feeling of emotionally not being there cause of these meds. Don't be hard on yourself there, but use it as a motivated to clean things up. When you get well, he will feel safer and more secure. Once you decide what your going to do. Post here like crazy and you will get all the tools and advice you need. You can get thru this. There IS hope!
Helpful - 0
3133931 tn?1342600608
Well,I don't know if I can get in to see Doc this week.I can try.Only other thing I can think of is I have to see the nurse for pre-surgery blood work...mabey I should mention it to her till I can get in to see doc? I was supposed to have the surgery this week,but the Doc went on vacation so they moved it to monday
Helpful - 0
3133931 tn?1342600608
Yes,I have seen TONS of back Docs till I found the one I have now....Some who thought the pain was all in my head,others who gave me back braces and wanted me to wear them so tight that if I sat down with it on I would have stopped breathing LOL
Helpful - 0
2107676 tn?1388973859
I really think it would be wise to talk to your doctor.  You don't have to tell him how much you are taking but tell him you are throwing up and concerned about your liver.  Please see him asap.  He is prescribing these meds so he should be concerned about your liver.  Give it a chance to repair itself before it's too late.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Have you thought about getting a second opinion from another Dr?.. Sounds like you are taking ALOT of medication...
Helpful - 0
3133931 tn?1342600608
TY hun! I just feel like I have dug myself in a hole and can not get out.My husband has treated me horrible since the fall,even before I got addicted to the pills...I think in alot of ways cause he kept nagging me about the pill's I would take more to **** him off which only hurt me...It scares me cause for months now I have been throwing up on a daily basis..was in the hospital on Easter for having 2 mini strokes,then a month later admitted again for bowl infection......but I KNOW all the tylenol in the percs is bad for my liver and I think that why I may be why im sick throwing up all the time,but im to afraid to tell my Doc! Im afraid I will be cut off from the pain meds and left in pain and with withdrawls!
Helpful - 0
2107676 tn?1388973859
If I was you I would wait until your surgery on the 23rd.  That is only 5 days away.  See if it works and then start tapering.  You don't want to be in withdrawals going through surgery.  After you have you have recovered from your surgery will be the time to get off of all your meds.
Please know that you are not bothering anyone.  That is what this forum is for.  We are addicts helping each other get our life back.  We will be happy to help you through it as well.
Helpful - 0
3133931 tn?1342600608
ALSO,the pain meds dont hardly help with the pain anymore since my body is so used to them..
Helpful - 0
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