Help with heroin addiction..

[Sprees]

I have already posted this once but I did it in the wrong area so I apologize for the double post.. Anyway, here is my original post

Hey there, I'm new to the forum so, hello everybody and thanks in advance for any help I receive. My name is Alex and I'm 19 years old, I started using heroin when I first turned 17, before that it was vicodin, percocet, oxycontin, and fentanyl. When all that became to expensive, that's when my heroin addiction began. I should mention I don't bang, I smoke my garbage on a piece of foil, I have shot before but I have managed to keep away from needles. I have a very large habit now compared to back then, I do about 2 or 3 grams a day. I have been through rehab and counseling for a six month period before and have tried quitting numerous times on my own without success.. The problem is.. there is no escaping it for me. My older brother and mom do heroin as well and I am living with them both. So even if I was to go to treatment again, I would come back to them smoking in front of me and smelling it in the other room when they are trying to be secretive about it. I really want to get clean, I hate being so pale and skinny. I used to be in shape, play sports and be an active person.. For how often I smoke in one day it's going to be so difficult to just get through the day without loading a tray and smoking.

All of my relatives are in Wisconsin, where I'm originally from. My dad was the only person on that side of the family that I talked to but he passed away last year. He also had a drug problem, but it was with cocaine and weed. The only relatives I can think of that I might be able to go live with would be my grandma and grandpa on my mother's side. They live in the middle of no where so I know I wouldn't be able to find a fix there but I know I wouldn't be able to stay and make a life there because there is no college to attend or jobs available because it's such a small town.

I was trying to reach out to my X step dad a while ago, my mom and him broke up 5 or 6 years ago and him and I haven't talked much since.. but I came to find out that he got arrested in July for possession and use of heroin and cocaine! **** my life haha.

Oh by the way, I do have an income but not enough to be able to move out. A lot of my money is going toward monthly court fees that I have to pay. I got into a lot of trouble last year and now I'm paying for it, literally lol.

[drugadic]

You have it rough..living with people that use is hell. I use in secret in my home and am trying to get clean using suboxone. I would have used heroin if I knew anyone that had it. I was smoking fentanyl paches and yes it is expensive..I have smoked 4 or 5 100 mg patches a day at times. It is crazy. I tried methadone but was afraid of being addicted to that too so I stopped.  Today I am starting subs and feel Ok. I just want my life back. It sounds like you never really had one. Get out of that house one way or another it is the only way you will get clean.

[IBKleen]

I pray for boring.

"Having the courage to walk through"...I'm going to steal that.

You got some wisdom here my friend. I hope you listen to it. I also hope you come back and talk with us. There is always someone here to support you, there is always someone to listen....

[10356]

I agree with IBKleen and Giz.  so what if it is boring out with your grand parents I'm sure there are many things you can do to help them and to pass time while you heal. putting distance between your family and all those who use allows you to put your life in perspective and gives you a chance at recovery. I would also look into some aa our na meetings in the area so you can spend time with peps that understand what you are going through, You are young you have a lot of living to do and as active junkies we do not live we exist only for our next fix. one door closes and another opens it is having the courage to walk through.. I hope you do we will all be behind you for support... it does suck that mom and the rest of the family are using but this does not mean it is your fate.. take care of you for nobody else can... lesa

[gizzy32]

Alex, take IBKleen's advice. Your so young and your whole life is ahead of you. Don't wait until it's too late ok man. It pisses me off your Mom does dope with her kids, that is insane, but it's up to you to get out of this situation cause like IBK said, the future is jails, institutions or death. Chose life and come up with a plan on how to do this. I am cheering for you and hope you make the right choice as hard as it is. Good luck and keep posting, you will find a lot of support here.

[IBKleen]

You didn't post in the wrong area. You posted right here, it is below.

You need to get out of that situation. If you can go stay with your grandparents until you get clean and learn to stay clean, then do it. It's about you right now.

You are going to have to want to do this more than anything in you have ever wanted. No jokes, no fooling around and no excuses.

You are concerned if you stay with your grandparents that there is no life there. Right now your future is jails, institutions and death. Sounds like your grandparents place is a better choice.

I hope you make the choice while you still can.