Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
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Avatar universal

Helping My Boyfriend

Hi, I'm new to this page. Recently, my boyfriend came clean to me and his mother about his short addiction to roxis. According to him, it was for a few months, and it was usually only 1 a day. Maybe 2 at the most. And sometimes he would snort them. I have told him how proud I am of his truthfulness and desire to change. I guess I just need to know, what now? What can I do to keep him steady in this? And what signs should I be looking for, just to make sure he doesn't slide back into it. I know this must be a tough thing to do. It's been about three days since he's stopped.

All the things in the past months that have happened make so much sense to me now, and I feel like a real idiot for not realizing it. He was borrowing alot of money from me, would get angry if I asked why he was taking his (legal) medication in the bathroom with him before showering, questioned him about his money managment.

If anyone could give me some advice about how to help him properly and keep on him about staying clean, I would appreciate it.  Thanks so much!
10 Responses
536882 tn?1225512859
first, don't borrow him any more money.  I would suggest finding some AA/NA meetings in your area and go to them with him.  They will help.  you can't do any work for him, but you can support him, and call him on his B.S. when you see it.  Trust is going to have to be earned back, and he knows that.  Don't hold it over his head, but be cautious.  Encourage him to find a sponsor in NA (narcotics anonymous) or AA (alcoholics anonymous).  They will help him figure out the root of his issues and work on staying sober.  If he hangs out with friends that are associated with using, there's also a clue to him using.  He has to totally dis-associate with those ties.  Encourage him to get on here for support as well.
352798 tn?1399298154
wannabefree said it all !!!!

Just remember that addicts tend to lie. 1 or 2 a day may really be way more, and a few months may have been longer.
556246 tn?1260241701
One other thing to look for..I was snorting oxys for a little while and my mom and girlfriend noticed my nasal passages were always clogged up so they thought i had bad allergys..two weeks after i quit my mom said "mike i havent noticed you sniffle at all in the last two weeks thats really good"..i couldnt help but laugh a little but what i am saying is that if you notice he is sniffing a lot then he may be using again..but again dont interrogate him or anything..he obviously showed a lot of trust in you to tell you this so you can honestly trust that he will tell you things you need to know..good luck with everything!
214607 tn?1287677559
Well, you don't really want to come off to him as though you are "keeping on him". Make him understand that you are 100% on his side and will do whatever it takes to help him get clean, have proper aftercare and stay clean. Its very hard and it is a process. One that will stay with him for the rest of his life. But it can be done. One of the most important things an addict can have is support. So give him that. Not many have it and the ones who don't tend to relapse alot quicker and more often.

Aftercare is huge, huge...I can't stress it enough. Meetings, forums like this..anything to keep him from wanting to use again. Having others near him or being able to hear other stories of people just like him, will help him tremendously in the recovery process.

Bring him to this site. Let him see the stories of the people are just like him, trying to get clean and the stories of the people who have succeeded.

Good luck....
Avatar universal
Thank you guys so much!!!!  I will definitely look into meetings and things. His mother is a recovering addict, so I guess the addictive gene is definitely there, and I heard all the stories of the hard drugs he did in high school. She is helping me through this as well, since she knows alot more about it.

I really appreciate all the feedback, so quickly! you guys are great. & thanks for all the good wishes
352798 tn?1399298154
And remember that recovery is a process. It takes time to heal and rebuild the brain and body. Take a look at the Health Pages here near the top right.
Tons of info to read. The amino acid protocol is a good one. Make sure he gets on vitamins (2x/day) and supplements along with aminos.
572565 tn?1222047611
As an addict, I have to say that it sounds a little fishy that he has to take his meds to the bathroom to do them. He's lying. I know, I would too if I had to answer to someone about money I spent on drugs. Thank God, I don't. The problem with me is that mine are FREE. And that's a BIG PROBLEM. If I had to pay for them, I would be able to quit a lot sooner and taper down quicker than I am. I have the temptation of having them here with me, and no family or friends  to watch over me. Those are big enablers for me. Your situation is that you have, maybe unknowingly, enabeled him to do the drugs, by loaning him the $ for them. CUT HIM OFF ! He needs your help to get to a Doctor and get a Rx for Legal meds. That's the first step.
Avatar universal
Well whether he is not telling you the whole truth about his addiction or not, it's a good thing that he wants help.  Support is huge!  and you are not going to have any idea what is is going to have to endure. Just know that w/d are horrible, you'll know if he has stopped as he will be:
* lethargic no energy at all
* flu like symptoms
* Hot/cold spells
* sneezing alot
* overall very irratible!
Anyway if he was going through alot of money and he was getting them on the street, then the quantity he was taking is way off..  Sorry but that's the truth addicts seem to never come clean on how much they actually take.
372416 tn?1242665752
Hi there~

Like GTMI said, one may be more & months may be longer.

Maybe I can help a little w/signs of usage.

Painkillers give you unusal energy.  Like speed, but without the shakes.  It gives you pleasure and you accomplish many hated tasks.  That's what got me to liking them.

If he took his meds into the bathroom, it was probably so he could crush them to snort in secrecy.  I used to crush a days supply all at once and keep the powder in a little jewlry ziplock.  I'd also use a skinny straw (like for coffee stirring) because I could cut it shorter to fit compact in the little baggy.  The baggy would be slipped into my bra for the day & I could go to the restroom without my purse or anywhere really.  I learned to do it so fast, I could do it in the same room with anyone, and they'd never know.

Crushing is done in many ways, but usually leaves a residue where ever it's done.  I noticed that the powder from my blue lortabs would turn brown when I'd spray tylex cleaner.  And there was more residue than I thought!  So pass your hand on the bathroom counter to see if there's some powder left behind.  Also, a card or something folded in half is what a pill is put between, and something hard is rubbed on top of it to crush to a fine powder.  Check the bathroom drawers for anything that could be used for a straw like a hollowed out inkpen.  

Hopes this helps your curiousity, and that you don't find any of this signs.
Avatar universal
did u only do loratabs?  did u snort them?  i always was told u could only really snort oxys because like vic, perc, etc have too much tylenol in them.

u are very helpful, thanks!

oh, can someone snort something called ativan?
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