Here I am again, I feel like such a loser, but want to win.

[Cissy373]

Hello everyone, I've not posted here in awhile..........some will remember me and some won't. My drug of choice is Hydrocodone 10/650 and I take about 9 a day and supposed to only take 3.

I have went CT so times I don't want to remember and every month when its time to get my re-fill there I go again. I know that IS my downfall that darn re-fill, but I count the day's off until its the day then I feel like a kid in a candy store.

Truly I do NOT want to live like this, but maybe I am just not ready to quit but I can't seem to win at this evil game. How a darn pill can so control your life is beyond me.

Anyway just now on my 3rd day of WD's and feeling better other than my pain, but oh I wish I knew how some of you are able to beat this thing. I hear of our star's dying due to drug's and it scares me to death.

I CONGRATULATE the one's of you that have won so far against this battle.

Thank's for listening......once again.

Cissy

[polly1051]

Can you help me?  My son, 26 years old is taking hydrocodone-90 mg a day.  He was giving the drug for a sports injury - an continued to take it.  Now he wants to get off the drug.  What can I expect?  Does he need a drug detox program and how can I help.  Thanks to all

[Cissy373]

Gosh you sound exactly like me, I tell myself next month when I get the refill I will take them the way I am supposed to, but who am I kidding........I NEVER DO.

I have legit pain as well, had my foot redone twice and the last time they said if I hurt it again I would not walk, almost didn't this time, and now I have RSD.

So far when I run out I don't go to extremes to get more, but I am afraid on the road I'm on it may happen, and I am so sick of feeling good for a few days, then go through pure hell.

Thanks gnarly_1 for adding me to your prayer list...........I truly need it.

Cissy

[cerrone]

Waiting for a prescription every month is the worst.  I know exactly how you feel. I did it for years, then got on methadone for 5, and kicked it CT last october but now im back on the hydrocodone because i do have legit pain. I just ran out of mine as well and its just been a few days.  It's no fun being sick every month just to feel good for a few days, its like you tell yourself when you get your next refill you're going to take them right and make them last but it never happens, not with me anyway. I would say you're probably in about the same situation as i am. the only way to really beat this is to quit getting the medication ourselves.

[gnarly_1]

hey girl I lived for 10+ yrs thinking about refills went on to pain management and got put on methadone witch is worst ...this desese just progresses as we go longer and deeper into it so you need to just jump ship...if you cant go C/T try tapering at least you will be making progress in the right direction I agree with a lot of others here God has the power to deliver you of this you just need to trust him with it....without God I wouldn't have made it out or to the 148days clean I got today I will add you to my prayer list
good luck and God bless......Gnarly  

[Cissy373]

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement and prayers. I know if I could just say no to the next refill I would be on my way. I have to find a way to get past that. I am afraid to talk to my doctor cause if he knew I had a problem he would label me an addict, and even though I am..........I don't want that following me around the rest of my life.

Hang in there and praying for you and everyone.

Cissy

[sweatinit]

I am sorry you're struggling, I pray daily for some ppl here and I will add you to my list. I can so realte to what you're saying, but once you say no to the first refill, you'll be very empowered! Keep fighting, Kathy

[AJRC323]

If you go off of them slowly, it probably won't be too bad.

[MommyWifeAddict]

I am just starting CT today. I am 24 yrs old and was introduced to Lortabs by mistake. I had a really painful infection in 2005 and was given my first pill. The rest is really history. But I have a four year old. I have to stop. I usually take about 3 or 4 a day just to relax. I don't want it to get out of control. Does anyone know how bad my withdrawals will be? Thanks for any answers!

[Nathan_H]

If you need support hit a meeting, NA saved my life. It's such a relief to know that I didn't have to go through this alone. I just celebrated 10mos clean on the 8th and it does get easier. The cravings come further apart with time. My DOC was heroin so i know how hard opiod wd can be. The key for me was to stay involved with the fellowship and talk to recovering addicts daily, whether i thought i needed to or not. The first 3mos were the worst. Hang in there and take it minute by minute, call somebody, and most importantly don't pick up no matter what.

nate

[Cissy373]

Thank you for your reply, I just want my life back as I once knew it to be, not worrying about my next pill. My whole life revolves around those stupid pills and I want that to stop.

Good luck to you and I can only take it a minute at a time thus far, but I know one thing we need lot's of support to get through this.

Lots of prayers to you and everyone.

Cissy

[Addict63]

Cissy, I my case Hydrocodone became the best advocate. It dragged me down so bad that I became willing to go to any lengths to get clean from it. Each bottom was worse for me. I finally surrendered, found a power greater than me and my own thinking, and have found a willingness to depend on that power to see me through this nightmare and into a bright future. I've been going to NA. 29 days for me so far, one day at a time. The light is brighter each and every day now. You just got to get that far. Wish you the best on this detox and hope to see you on the other side, helping others on here get through their nightmares.

[Cissy373]

Your words of encouragement mean so much to me, and I am a believer and I know HE is biggier than this pill, but so far I've not been able to beat it.

I've always kind of been depressed I think and the pills just make life so much easier............or so I try to make myself believe, what a deciever that one is.

Thanks for everyone's support and most of all your prayers as I truly need them.

Praying for everyone here.

Cissy

[joycee418]

Hello,

I want you to know  that my heart goes to you. I been there. I am not sure how long you were on Lortabs. I was almost 14yrs on Lortabs. I dont think time or how long, or how many is what we are talking about. But how in chains you feel in on these pills. I now been off almost 200 days in a couple of days. It is great that you are on your 3rd day, take one day at a time. These are things that might help you; lots of water, try to walk,muti-vitamins,vitamin C,baths.  The greatest and for most thing that help was and still is everyday God!  He knew/knows my pain,my thoughts,  all my discomforts,my tears, angony,hurts and off course the big demon, my addiction. I want to reasure you that he knows all about you  and all that your going through. God, is GREATER than any addiction in the world. God's timing is perfect and he knows what your battleting. Your are in my heart and thoughts today and you will be on my prayers. "God set me free" He can for you to hon!


God is Love,
Joycee

[cirene]

I'm right there with you both.

Counting down the days.
That rush of glee you feel once you get in the car with a full bottle.
Feeling they're the best antidepressants in the world.

ugh

[AJRC323]

Yea I know how you feel. I've had anxiety and depression problems for about 5 years, and about a year ago I found Norco. Guess what went away when I took them. =/ Unfortunately, I think patience is very important in getting over this stuff.