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Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
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Avatar universal

Heroin use

Hello,
I have been dating my boyfriend for the last two years and within the last year a habit that was not apparent in the beginning has reared its ugly head. My boyfriend is a heavy Heroin user. I never suspected this would ever be a possibility because of his background, great family, owns his own business and seemed to be on the ball. He smokes on a daily basis. By what I find in our bathroom garbage can (tin foil and straws) he smokes anywhere between 2-4 times in a day. This habit is something he has never broughten up to me but based off of his behavior changes I knew something was wrong because he was not acting like the man I feel in love with. After moving in together I noticed the tin foil and straws... and not having any prior knowledge of what this could mean I began to research it and after very few days of reading about all the possibilities it was very apparent what it was. Our nights are usually sleepless there are few days in the week he sleeps all the way through the night, we do not and have not had sex in months, his moods are always dark (easily irritated) most nights our conversations are short and fairly repetitive, he makes a lot of errands at night after work but never says exactly where hes going, he is now borrowing small amounts of money usually about $40 at a time, we do not go out (used to all the time). My thought in the beginning was that he was cheating on me.. half the things above could be easily related to seeing someone else but the big sign was the proof of the drugs in our home. I'm not sure why I feel compelled to share all this with the public... maybe to hear feed back and to also let others out there know you're not alone. I don't know where to go from here with him. He takes so much energy out of me because I feel like I am caring for a child. He works for his family and sees them on a daily basis and although I am sure they know he uses I am to afraid to bring it to their attention and I am terrified to confront him although some days I feel like he almost asks me to. There have been times where he has left the Heron container on our bathroom counter (black tar subsistence left behind). My type of job I have quiet a bit of interaction with ex drug users, people who have recovered and made better for themselves. So I have confide my feelings about my situation with them to hear what there opinion on the matter is seeing that they have hit bottom and came back. Their responses are fairy similar, I need to confront him or leave. And to be prepared that both actions may lead to the same result.  
4 Responses
Avatar universal
Confront him then tell him o leave. Or you leave with all your stuff yourself. Believe me he won't quit easily. You do not need to be part of this. Hate to be harsh but it will be a roller coaster of lies and deceit and you questioning everything. Get out while you can.
271792 tn?1334979657
I find it strange that you state you work with drug addicts that have "recovered". There is no such thing. Recovery is a lifelong process and there is no cure for the disease of addiction. You also stated that he perhaps should not be a heroin addict because he has a great family and owns his own business. Junkies don't sleep on park benches in this day and age. We are the the people next door. We are the grocery checkout at the local market and we are the nurses in your doctors office. I am college educated, own my own car, my own home and had a successful career as an accountant. I am also a recovering heroin addict. The only difference between me and your boyfriend is that I did not use today.

Should you decide to stay you will be in for a lot of hurt. I strongly suggest that you give this thought and decide if this is the way you wish to spend your life. He has to want to get clean and he has to ask for help in order to do so. He doesn't seem as though he is there right now and nowhere near ready. I wish you the best hun and will say a prayer for you both.
4522800 tn?1470325834
Amen IBK!!!!!
144586 tn?1284666164
Get him out of your life. Period. As of yesterday.

I am not going to state that all addicts are the worse people in the world, but he is headed to prison and trouble with a capital "T" and you will have involved your life with him. You may even get arrested for covering for him. Penalties for dealing are draconian, and many heroin addicts deal to support their habit.

There are many wonderful guys out there who don't have a chippie.
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