Avatar universal

Hi New here

Good Morning,
So glad I have found this place. WOW, really never knew so many people are like me and trust me, I would not wish addiction on anyone, but am glad to know, I'm not the only one! My name is Jessinda, I'm 36 and have been an addict for three years on lorcet 10/650 and have been of it for 24 hours again!!!! I have tried many times to kick the habit with NO success what so ever! I come here in hopes to get support and help out when I can. I spent most of yesterday crying my eyes out and just being soooo depressed I thought, I want to die now!!!! I'm sure some of you here have felt that way. Of course, I'm still here and still alive. Well, I guess that's all for now. I look forward to hearing from you and getting input on how to stay clean if it's possible??? Is it???? Jessinda Thanks for reading
49 Responses
Avatar universal
Jessinda, sounds like you need to visit your family doc and come clean with what you are doing and your goal and chances are he will help. i used Ativan and a clonodine patch and I am coming up on my 3rd week barring a 1day slip with norco. If you read my post you will see I was coming off a much greater quantity than you are so hopefully your recovery(withdrawal) will be much shorter and less painful that my 2 weeks of (no fun!!! ) Good luck to you in your quest to get clean,you are on the right track...one day at a time. Soon you will be free again and a hell of alot happier not to be tied to the leash we call opiates!
Best of luck...pax
Avatar universal
Hi all.  Sorry to break in.  After bouncing up and down, trying to quit, tapering, etc., I've finally just quit.  Granted, it's only been about 36 hours, but I really don't feel that bad.  I really had to force myself to go for a a walk earlier, and really have to force myself to eat and take vitamins, but I also am keeping as busy as possible.  I am realy anxious about tonight (being able to sleep), but I do have a bit of valium.  I also have a bunch of flexeril -- will this help WDs at all (restlessness, etc)?  I'd rather use that than valium.  Also, if I take the flexeril (10mg) and it doesn't work, can I take valium (5-10mg) also? Would be nice to know, but I don't have that info handy.  Thanks to all in advance ....
Avatar universal
hey there,
my name is michael
this fourm has been a great help and support to me
in the last 15 months.
it was here that i found out was happening to me
by m abusing 15 vikes or perc's a day.
when i got  here i was  in the dark about the consequences
of abusing these meds.
i started to read all the post and find out why i could
not just quit with out , depression and lack of energy,
every time i tried to kick on my own, each time i tred i failed.
when i came here i found out what was going on and why.
what i could do about it was the most important info.
it was suggested that i get on the thomas's receipe and start to taper down as best i could , which was not to good.
so i quit cold turkey, and started taking the badly needed vitamine 's my body was in need of, by taking all the pills
i had depleted my body of almost all nutreints.
i took b-6
a, c and e
calsium magnisum
l-tyrosine 500 mg 5 a day in the morning with the two 100mg b-6.
there is more to the receipe. it is posted.
the 1st week is hell but after that it gets better and better.
week one the restless leg and body is very painfull.
sleeping is  hard to come by week 1 and it is suggested to take some small amonts of valume in week on for sleep.
5htp is also good for sleep and depression.
there are different approches to this cold turkey  way of getting
clean, but as bad as we may feel in the begining it is doable.
sever depression is normal when we quit, we cry at the drop of a hat.the l-tyrosine helped me a lot with this and the lack of energy.
hot baths at nite are recomended, lots of water, and exersize.
post any questions and read as much of the fourm as you can.
Avatar universal

l-tyrosine(500mg caps) 5 to 8 a day week 1  2o3 a day weeks after
b-6 100mg caps
a strong multi vitamine
vitamins  A/C/and e
zinc/ phosphorus / copper/
calsium- magnesium
valium for sleep week 1 and 2
imodium for the runs in week 1
the imodium is important because the runs deplete us of all
nutrients, and the runs cause dehydration and make the
withdrawls a lot more painfull , in the area of restless leg and body which make the night s in week 1 very difficult.
hot baths at night help to releive the body aches in week 1 and 2.

also things that help in the cold turkey detox is lots of green veggies and bannas,
also lots of water  or gator aid  for lost electrolites due to the runs.
5htp is another  supplement that people have had sucess with
for depression and taking 4 of them help with sleep.
also benadryl has helped some sleep in week one.
Avatar universal
Here I go again, back on the opiate cycle.  I thought that 7.5 months of incarceration would have helped me go back on the straight and narrow but this monster is a lot greater than I thought and my tolerance is already is getting to a level which is going to require a detox.  I can't say exactly how much I've used,  To sum it up -In the past 6 weeks I've done 70 DIlaudids(k-4s) injected, several xanax and klonopin (Ozzy Osbourne's new drug of choice by the way- gotta laugh), a bunch of 10 mg methadone pills, lortab 10's and recently started taking percs again along with a fentanyl patch(25mg).  Unfortunately I live in an area where there is no methadone clinic or any kind of real out or in-patient therapy program for addicts.  I've cold turkied before and it's not a n experience I wish to repeat.  I also have a friend who wants to detox as well.  Input please.  I would greatly appriciate it.
Avatar universal
sounds like you need some help to say the least. . . i was a try and try by myself girl for a while, not successful. . . and while it is my understanding that there are not many rapid detox clinic around they are available, i went through i program call project strait, i had a medically assisted detox at home, and then had an 7 week implant put in  . . . my husband thought it was pretty pricey $1400 total with implant,,,,but compared to what we were spending on drugs - you do the math. . . . go on your favorite search engine and look up "nalrexone" . . that's the name of the drugs - there were many links. . . i am 13 days clean and am using the thomas recipe and doing not bad . .. . not great - mind you - but not bad . . . .i had to be clean 7 days before they would give me the implant (which can have side effects as well - that's still got me alittle nervous) . . on that 7th day when i went to the clinic there were people who had flown or drove from all over the country - this particular place is in Troy, Michigan called Project Straight . . .My husband was using as well, he went cold turkey this week . . . didn't want to spend the money on himself . . . watching him withdrawl is horrible . . .going to try to get him to do the recipe . . or call the clinic - he is in day 3 (the worst) . . . .my detox consisted of basically being knocked out for 4 days using 4 different types of drugs - the trick is you MUST HAVE A CAREGIVER TO ADMINISTER THE MEDS. . . NOT BY YOUR SELF. . .i was blessed enough that my girlfriend and husband took shifts i basically slept for 3 days(yes he was still using) .. we have two small kids and someone has to be in some kind of shape to parent . . . .all i can say is as of this moment i am not craving or in pain . . .i promised to at least try NA . . and have a schedule . . . my goal today is to get to a meeting and hopefully help my husband . . . .good luck and blessings to all trying to get clean . . . . .
Avatar universal
sundra, good luck to you and your husband... i hope you both go to NA meetings. i have vast experience with NA and had even started three NA groups at one time (the groups are still going, it was ME who quit going!)

i relapsed six years ago after 8 years clean... getting clean again has been the hardest thing i have ever done. all the "not yets" i had in my 8 years clean became true for me... i can't begin to tell you how this has effected my children...

after a heroin overdose a few days before christmas and a bad case of pancreatitis a week later i ended up in the hospital until jan. 15th... i have been clean and sober ever since, almost 4 months now...

i just can't believe how good it is to wake up in the morning and not have to worry about whether or not i had a "wake-up" or not, or would i be getting sleep, or would this new doc prescribe for me, or........... you get the picture...

i am not going to meetings but am staying spiritually connected in other ways and it is working so far. i believe that if you become honest and willing to let go of drugs and alcohol there is nothing that will stop you... i don't have any reservations today, maybe i will tomorrow but i will deal with that tomorrow.

it is wonderful to be alive~!

Avatar universal
Avatar universal
Dear heart I know exactly how you feel!--I think I'm the relapse Queen!-But it's exactly like the forum doc has stated--you have to really be ready to quit--This past week I came very close to losing the man (my husband) that i adore due to those demon pills! I was taking 12-14 hydrocodone per day!--Pure and simple insanity--Soooo a choice had to be made! Was I to continue down this road of hell (how many pills did I have-How could I get more-What pharmacy would I use?--The anxiety I experienced everytime my stash got low What would happen if it every came out how many pills I was taking?)--Pretty crazy/paranoia behavior for a 48 yr. old professional woman married to a physician!--Anyway I want my life back and I am willing to experience these 5-7 days of being very uncomfortable to do it! And you can do it to with the help of this forum and the wonderful people here offering support--I'm posting alot today since I am in the throes of withdrawal and everyone seems to be ok with it--Its keeping me sane!  Goof luck Peace Prayers, N.O. Lady-AKA Mystere
Avatar universal
hey everyone looking to finally get my life back but i am curious about one thing i take 20 to 25 tylenol 3 a day and i am wondering how bad that is when i try to quit i get really sick and i would like someone to tell me how bad that is  would really appreciate it thanks
Avatar universal
Hippi,New orleans Lady and everyone thanks for the input. Third day clean and though, I've done this before and think, three day's big deal let's see if you go and get the pills tomorrow. I'm the hardest person on myself, and do the worst thinking of myself. I know I should be proud of the fact that it's been three day's, but I think, I've done three day's, weeks at a time clean and yet I always go back. My thoughts latly have been, how did this happen???? Why do some people get hooked on drugs, or whatever and others don't ever get hooked. Does this addiction thing run in family's???? I have heard that you need to fine what is or caused the addiction. Is that true? Does it help to know and help to keep you clean? I just don't get it cause never ever did I think I would become and addict. I had a pretty crapy child hood, but the one thing I was always proud of is that I didn't use substance to cover my pain or my abuse up. Now 36 years old three years addict and I truly don't get it why I let this get out of hand. Today is Monday, and yes the w/d's are a pain in the @ss, and all I want to do is just stop the withdraws and I know all I have to do is drop a couple pills and I will be OK for that moment. Oh man, I'm a mess Please Help Jessinda
Avatar universal
Hi no!more!, my name is Rob. First of all let me stress to you that Tylenol 3's other active ingredient is Aceteminophin (probably didn't spell that correctly but who cares!) :-) and it is very bad for your liver at the doses that you are talking about. I am not a doctor but I am certain the doctor or anyone else in this forum would tell you the same thing.

Now, as far as your question goes. "How bad will it be?" It's very VERY uncomfortable. But it's not impossible. Your body will begin to feel as if you are coming down with a terrible flu. Your eyes will water, you will sneeze constantly, your nose will run...actually everything will RUN if you get my drift! Your legs and your arms will be jittery as if they have a mind of their own. And many people (including myself) have had feelings of depression and hoplessness.

I'm not telling you this to scare you, just to prepare you. These feelings can last a while. But if you are willing to see your doctor and tell him what is going on, he can give you medication that can take about 70% of this garbage away. I just hit my 5th week clean. It hasn't been a picnic but it is so worth having my life back. WON'T YOU JOIN ME?

All my best. Rob
Avatar universal
hi jessinda,
everything you wrote, i can say i felt every feeling
you have mentioned.im sure most of have.
so you are not different. we all seem to have missed
something growing up.2 things i know a lot of addicts
seem to have missed is being muture and responsable.
we have to be carefull not to blame others for our problems.
wnen we take 20 pill a day this is very irresponable , not to
mention we are truely killing ourselves.
i know with pain meds it is easy to get caught up in it,
with out even meaning to.
i am of the mind that no particular drug is a disease,
i do not beleive in cocaneism
i do not beleive in herionism
i do not beleive in marijauanaism
and so on
i beleive in addiction for lack of a better term.
these are all part of the problem
i think it serves us better to focus on a solution.
we have to learn to live for one day
the weight of the future is to heavy
and the pain of the past is to pain full
there is a time to deal with the past
and that is not when we are weak and just getting clean.
it takes everything we have to deal with one day in withdrawls
along with some support of others wether that be a spouse or
people here at the fourm or a support group of some kind.
it is smart to get our focus off ourselves
keeping a journal is mentaly and spititualy healthy and
gets a lot of stuff out of our heads.
the best thing is getting some positive results in what we are doing, results are encouraging and give us the motivation to continueon this difficult path
results that is what we need.
getting pasy week one withdrawls is very result filled.
and can give us the courage to continue on.
then we have to exersize, eat right,take vitamines.
talk with others, stay away from anything that may temt us
like yourself everytime i got 3 or 5 days clean  by myself
i always got knocked backwards by depression or no energy.
thomas's recipe help with these things, when i finaly
got past week one.
i guess to a certian extent we have to embrace  our
pains and feeling uncomforatable. tell our selves that we
are on the right path and it will get better and better.

peace hippy, hope your feeling better
Avatar universal
Thanks for the comments and yes your right in what you wrote. I do have that Thomas's thing. I will be totally honest with you, I want my PILLS!!!!! The last time I took my pills was last Friday at 10:45. LOLOLOL How sad is that, I know the exact time I took my last two pills. What a freaking joke I am. I need to ask something, even though you really want to quit, in which I do, is it normal to want so bad to go get the drugs and have that constant battle inside??? I think for me, the w/d's are hard in dealing with it, but the head games that are going on in my head is what is the worst for me. I feel like a war is going on inside and I wonder which one is going to win. Is that normal or am I just crazy. Today is 4 day's without I have a little smile on my face about it but so scared to death I will go back!!! I'm not stupid and I know what I'm doing to my system by taking the pills, but sometimes I just don't care, or maybe I do care but getting high is more important????? I don't know and that is why I came here because I'm tired of doing this by myself and I admit totally admit I can't do this anymore without help!!!!!!!! Thanks Jessinda
Avatar universal
No, Doll--you're NOT crazy--you're an ADDICT!!  LOL  This all goes w/ the territory.  We crave the pills because our body and mind want them!!  The physiological is MUCH easier than the psychological to most of us. One of the best things you can do to eliminate that constany mind-game struggle of should I ? shouldn't I?  back and forth three million times a day is to sever all ties to your MD's, pharmacies, and druggie friends.  It's a ***** to do at the time, but I think you will feel a sense of calm in knowing that you DON'T HAVE ACCESS!!  It will free you from a certain degree of that turmoil , IMHO.
    Please just hang in there!!!  It's NOT one bit weird that you know when you had your last dose...I've been clean  over a year and I can tell you my last dose was December 26th, 2001 at 3:00PM.......I quit drinking that January 7th, so I use that as my total sobriety date....See?? We're all alike....!!!  Keep posting...Peazy
Avatar universal
CALM DOWN!!! Instead of obsessing about the length of time it has been since you last dosed, obsess about how good it is going to feel when you are unchained from those little pills. You have control over your choices-YOU HAVE THE BRAIN NOT THE PILLS!!!!!!! Stick to your commitment to quit. I have been clean for only two days longer than you, I had an oxycontin addiction that I got through but relapsed on hydrocodone and morphine. Though I lie to myself and say "at least I beat the oxy"-I know there is no such thing as a "safer drug". Within a week I started feeling better-physically. As for the battle in my head, I had to make a serious commitment to MYSELF to stop letting something like this take over my life. I hope that I stay as strong as I have for the past 6 days. I know that psycologically I will have a harder time for the rest of my life, but I can't help but feel like the worst is over. I know you can make it to where I am. JUST BE SMARTER THAN THE PILLS!!!
Avatar universal
Hi Jessinda:

It's not that crazy to have that cosntatnt battle inside, thats called addiction. Even when you think you have drugs under control it will try to maifest itself in other ways (shopping etc.). Believe me, sometimes I really miss my pills too, but I don't miss the misery of being an active user.

Plase try going to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting. You will be surprised to find plenty of people just like you!! I always had this vision of NA as a place of people with heroin needles sticking out of their arms. And, there are heroin, crack addicts in NA who are great people trying to clean up their lives, but there are also sooo many pill-poppers in NA just like us!!! Believe me, we are not ALONE.

Avatar universal
Hey Rob thank you so much for answering me I dont have anyone to talk to about my problems i am pretty screwed up I live in a town (a very small town) where it is all my husbands family and I already have the hopeless feeling down packed thats for sure I am also a mother and scared shitless I need to do this and still be there for 2 kids and try to act like - Mommies ok-  and meanwhile I am at the point right now the tylenol 3's arent doing to much for me anyway and I am feeling sick all the time anyway my biggest fear is someone finding out what i've been doing to myself for 4 years now but i need to get off the pills sorry i keep babblying on i just havent had no one to talk to I try talking to my husband but i believe he thinks if he just ignores whats really going on mom will fix it like she fixes everything else holly **** do you think I may have a few issues!!anyway thanks for listening take care of yourself  Jodie
Avatar universal
Well, No pills today, although sad to say I did try to get them. The funny thing is, if I really wanted to get them I know for a fact I could have with NO problems. So, I take that as a good sign huh? It's so awesome and yet so sad that so many struggle with this ****. Awesome, cause I'm so not alone and dont have to keep it all inside, but so sad that so many struggle to get off the pills and stay clean and that its so so hard and yet so so easy just to pop. I do feel better somewhat today and tomorrow I'm sure I will feel better and so on. I do need a support group which would be NA and for some reason I have a hard time going to the first meeting???? Why is that? Maybe, I think it's because of fear, and facing it right on. Anyone else have a hard time going to a first meeting? Are you aloud to bring a friend that is NOT an addict to a meeting so I wouldnt have to go by myself or should I go by myself. I do suffer from anziety and panic attacks so a little confused. Anyway, thanks for comments and I will keep posting and try to help out when I can too. It's only been 4 day's and I'm pretty new to all this cleaning yourself up, but man, knowing that someone is just a couple day's into cleaning sure helps knowing someone is going through it with you. thanks everyone Jessinda
Avatar universal
hey everyone I am scared shittless I am going to start the thomas recipe as soon as i can get the recipe but i already know nothing can be worse then how i am feeling lately  i just wanted all of you to know finding and reading all of your entries has helped me so much i thank all of you    please take care
Avatar universal
You did GOOD today by not gettin' those pills!!  Another day clean!! Now stay w/ it!
  No, you cannot take a friend w/ you unless they will be a member, too. The only exception would be when there is an "open" meeting, and there is usually a guest speaker at those, and little to no membership discussion.  Well, there isn't "discussion" at  ANY TIME---You must wait your turn to speak and NEVER interrupt or they'll get on you for "cross talking" and it's a real NO-NO.  You'll see what I mean when you go.  I was nervous, too.  Try to find someone you can relate to.  That will probably be after a few meetings, but maybe you'll latch onto someone right off the bat.  You don't have to speak until you are ready to. When it comes your turn, be polite: say "Glad to be here, and I'll pass for now". The end. It will be cool.
  What I will say is, that if you are going to try NA then give it a fair shot: go to meetings regularly (at least three a week to start). Only then will you get an idea of what it's about. If you're half-assed about it: then it probably won't be worthwhile to you.  Okie dokie?? After you go, and you have questions, just ask and I'll answer any I can.
   Have a good  night, and keep up the god work!! Love, Peazy
Avatar universal
Hang in there Jess.  I'm on day 3 right now and was hooked for about 6 months, everyday on 7-8 10/325 hydrocodones.  I was initially given them for lower back pain I received in a car accident in 1991.  The pain will creep back every so often so the doc gave me them back in November.  Everyday since it's been hell trying to forget I have them,  hating when I'm almost out, then making that call again to the doc.  Sick of it. My last one was Sunday at 1:00 P.M. Monday was the pits.  Tuesday wasn't much better. Hoping today will get better.  The depression for me is the worst feeling.  But the restless arms and legs stink too.  I'm can't go back to that.  Be strong. God Bless.
Avatar universal
Well, today is a week for me.I can't believe I have to be at work. I don't feel any anxiety but I feel so run down. I know all this is worth it though. I will be so happy when I am done with this and can see everything clearly again. Even though I am feeling bad, I'm feeling so much better everyday. I feel like I can breathe a little more, see more, learn more. I let something else control me for so long, I am loving knowing that I control myself now. I live in a very small town. Everywhere I go I see something that reminds me of my former habit.I pass other people that I know use, right now as I am typing this there is a lady that I know has at least a couple hydrocodone in her purse at my desk. She will be one floor away from me all day. I have come too far to kindle the fire again. I don't know how I am doing this. It's like I finally made up my mind and I am on autopilot. I know that whatever it is in me that is getting me through this though is not something only I can do. Just like we had the same habit, we can make the decision to stop- and stick with it. I'm not out of the woods yet, but at least now I can see the sunshine. Don't let those things have chains around your wrist any longer. It gets harder everyday I know, but once you're free and look back at what you accomplished, everything else will seem easy. Hang in there.
Avatar universal
Jodie, try and take some comfort knowing most of us have been right where you are.........scared; BUT keep in mind, the fear can frequently be greater than it need be.  Emotions run wild with just the thought of detoxing, but just by reading your comment 'i need to do this', tells me you CAN DO THIS.
As Rob mentioned, there are meds(such as clonidine....a blood pressure med; has to be used carefully) that can reduce the withdrawals, but if going to a/your doc. isn't an option(or you simply don't want to bring anyone in on your lit' secret.....we're pretty good at keeping these aren't we), using the Thomas Recipe(designed for cold turkey detox) can help.  I always suggest tapering to people, as it is one way, without additional meds, to let a person down easier.  Just for reference, i tapered off the same number of pills per day that you take, except mine were percs(oxycodone); and it definately helped.  Ya ya, here's the part where everyone says tapering is next to impossible, cause of the will-power thing.........but many people have successfully tapered off their meds(it's just another option).  I used to use T-3's to stave off withdrawals when i was out of my oxy........hell they even sell Tylenol with 8mgs of codeine Over-The-Counter here in Canada.  It's been pointed out that just under 10% of the codeine a person takes in, is metabolized(converted) as morphine.......so that would be approximately 60-75mgs/day for your habit size.
I've also noticed, that although codeine withdrawal mimics most others, the restless leg can be a lit'l more pronounced(i noticed this myself), and thats where the hot baths come in..........as many as you can stand!!
Anyways Jodie, i just wanted to pass on a HELLO, and reiterate that you are not alone; and whatever you need, just ask!!!!

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