Avatar universal

Hoping I get back to normal mentally before the Army.

So I had a painkiller addiction that started when I was 19, I am 22 as of July 25th. I was struggling all last year trying to get clean and went through hell. Finally in June I just had a breakdown and came clean with my family. I moved about 20 miles away so I couldn't be around all of the bad influences surrounding me. I have been clean about 2 months now. I was dabbling with suboxone to help the wd's and then withdrew from them for a bit also. Now it is just a mental battle for me.

I noticed I get really irritated, bad anxiety to where I don't leave the house to go do anything, severe depression, and unmotivated. The depression is horrible. I get so bad that I just don't care to even converse with anybody and I will lay in my room all day watching tv. I also get a sense of fear and paranoid for no reason just out of the blue when being around a lot of people I don't know and I get really defensive and ready to stand my ground, This is weird. Working out helps a lot but when the unmotivation kicks in, I am screwed. I know it is all in my head I am just waiting to get my old self back because I have always been a generally happy-easy going person and very strong mentally.

I am due out for boot camp for the Army Nov 9th. I am worried I might not be mentally prepared by then because of the anxiety and ****. I am physically prepared for the most part.

What are you thoughts?
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Avatar universal
Yeah I've been through the feeling like a big blob phase. That was when I was at 10+ pills a day. My pills of choice were vikes, lortabs, lorcets - percs and oxys occasionally.

How many I took a day varied. The first year I was at 4-8 a day then some bad things happenned and I was at 10-20 a day for 2 months. But generally I would say when I took em it was 4-8.

Since about last spring of 08 was when I started buckling down and fighting to get off of them. I would WD and make it to day 3 and slip up because someone offered me pills to give em a ride or something, or if someone wanted large quantities of pills, I would tax it and make money off of them and invest back into pills. Then I had a dirty doctor for a few months and was selling hundreds of pills a day and eating a ton.

But when March of this year hit I just locked myself away and tried to smoke a lot of weed and stay away but no matter what, I would make it 3 or 4 days with no pills and it never failed for someone to come around and either give me some or give me the opportunity to get em.

So I Moved away in June and have been clean since.

But thank you, I have heard of the thomas recipe but I just want to do this without the help of anything but staying strong, working out and pulling through.

I don't want to feel the need to rely on something, even if it is just a tylenol, to help me through anything.
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401095 tn?1351391770
thoughts?  u r too young to hand r life over to drugs..u know this and u also know that thi doesnt get anybetter
MOVING is the best thing  can do...read the doamine articole in the health pages o u undestand the efect bombarding ur body with opiates has on the receptors in the brain...this can take mnths to heal..ur time of use was 3 yrs..u didnt state ur DOC or daily  dose

it took u 3 yrs to get her...unless ur dose was extreme in 2 mths u sould be feeling much better metally...for some/extreme users it can take 3 mths or maore//hence AAs motto///90 meetings in 90 day/   r u doing any type of aftercare/counseling or meetings to help this mental battle

if u r not motivated the best thing u can do is get up off the couch and hit the gym...it forcs the brain to produce endorphins...and u need them right now til ur brain catches up on production//the brain and the human body is finely tuned..ur brain sensed u were getting endorphins from an outside source so it stopped producing like it should..with time, the brain will catch up again

have u looked at the thomas recipe..i was at 100 mgs for 4 yrs...tyrosine helped me the most///helped the nrg part of this situation...if anxiety is a big problem then large doses should be avoided..i didnt have anxiety i was just like a frickin jelly fish..felt like  big blob...andyway..on the verge of relapse i picked up and re-read the thomas recipe..and followed it to the T..lots of pills if u get the pill form...i got the powdered forms from bulk nutrition and mixed them with EmergenC///tyrosine rocked for me and to this day i take a bit each morning with my juice and a 5htp each night before bed..but exercise helped me the most..5 mintues into a workout i felt normal..and it lasted for hours after...RUNNERs HIGH????? this is why///they love that endorphin release they get...we just need to focus on aftercare and staying clean right now,,u can do this..99% is upstairs..u have control..the pills r gone
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