Aa
How did you quit drugs?
Hi, Ive just joined this site because im finally buying in to things like meetings and NA as being vital in the recovery process. Im not yet even 21 but I feel like Ive been to hell and back with addiction, especially to percocet/cocaine/and fentanyl. But theres been periods of alcohol abuse and bath salt(convinving myself it was a safe alternative). percocet and fentanyl are always within my grasp, for free, which makes the anxiety and difficuilty of quitting umptine times harder. After about 3 years of pain killers daily which led to cocaine, then to pain patches i would chew for a more intense direct release, and on the edge of okaying with the thought of trying heroine, i finally found salvation in a suboxone clinic. I passed every drugf test and went to weekly counciling while on suboxone for nearly a year. I didnt like the sedated effect i felt from suboxone, and struggled knowing that I was technically still using. I began to taper myself down with ease, and then I was talked into trying a terrible substance sold legally as bath salt, but it is like a synthetic meth/coke that made me a terrible mess for months of denial and i lost my job and quit suboxone. These salts even gave me an incredible urge to gamble and would lead me to paranoia so intense I felt that I was being watch 24/7.I knew how bad it was but it always seems that any addiction i quit would lead to another addiction and I was never truly sober. So I finally kicked the salts as they were destroying my body and Id dropped from 170 pounds to 120, and within a couple days I found myself using fentanyl, thinking I coulds do it just once. I plunged as deep into addiction as I had ever been and became deeply depressed. After a couple weeks I went to a doctor for help, he put me on anti depressents and a benadryl like sleep aide. I go back in about a week and I have to tell him I couldnt quit, I was getting to sick. I now think an inpatient rehab would be best and im going to give it a shot because I want to end this before its too late. I just want to know what to expect, or any advice from your personall stories of recovery. Im feeling pretty hopeless so someone please help. I know how terrible all this is but i was prom king, class clown, 4.0 student, looking to take the art world by storm before this took hold of me, now i cant get myself to paint. Im currently using every other day and I hold out as long as I can until my next use. Someone, just please give me an ounce of hope that I will someday enjoy living again...
I went in an out of AA for 15 years but could never get the full desire to quit. I met a woman in aa who after a few months started hitting me. I called the police when they got there she said I beat and raped her, I was arrested. She didn't show up for court and charges were dropped. This was the straw that broke the camels back. I quit everything and am actually afraid of alcohol. For me it took a lot to realize where alcohol and drugs will take me. Prison death is institutions, this is a life and death situation
Eventually you will quit when you've had enough. I tried to quit for 15 years. I kept going in and out of aa for 15 years. I got in a relationship with a very abusave woman. When I called the police she told them I beat and raped her. I was arrested and charged I won my case, she admitted she didn't want to go to jail so she made it up. This experience was the straw that broke the camels back. I haven't drank got high or even slept late since or cuss. I though I was free doing what I wanted when I wanted,in my freedom I became a slave. When I controlled my bad behavior I became free
I am so lost! I am not an addict myself but I have been married to an addict for almost 13 years. I love him soo much and we have 2 beautiful children who adore thier daddy.....but im not sure how much more I can take. My husband started out slow smoking weed I didnt even know till several months maybe even a year after we were married that he even smoked. I have always hated drugs my dad was and still is an addict and he derprived my family of simple necessities in order to buy his drugs. So it was so important to me to find a caring and loving man and thats what I loved about my husband....he was clean and loving he was involved in church and he wanted to save me from my life at home. But we were just kids we got married young. Its funny how much people cam change with every year. Eventually my husband got into vicoden after getting injured. The vicoden progressed to norco then to percocet then to oxcy contin to opana to any strong opiate he could get including heroin. I have never felt so alone watching him almost die on atleast 2 occasions, hearing the lies come out of his mouth to tell me I was the ******* psyco for accusing him of using ( even though I would tell him I just saw u using in the back yatd with my very own eyes) I got to hand it to him he almost had me covinced that I was insane. But I knew I wasnt. I would find pills, foils with melted pill residue , straws but somehow I was just sapposed to believe that they were somone elses. Anyways he finally started suboxone about 9 months ago and at first it went well now our Ins. Will not cover it and it is quickly becoming un affordable we are paying for the meds instead of our other bills. To make matters worse my husband has now discovered bath salts as a way to give him energy. Which is also expensive! He is so angry and paranoid on bath salts he has got in my face and very confrontational with me thinking that I am conspiring against him. I have to admitt I was scared a few times he wad going to beat the sh#t out of me and thought of lying to him and telling him what he wanted to hear so he would stop being so angry. It has been about 2-3 weeks since he last used bath salts and swore he wanted nothing to do with them ever again, but in the last week im starting to see possible signs again like him staying up real late I keep smelling a bleechy smell wich is what I think that stuff smells like. Last night he went to bed so late that he only slept maybe 2 hours before he had to get up for work. I asked him but he said no. the problem is I cant believe him he lies to me about almost everything. I feel like he has this double life the getting clean family man and wondetful husband and then the addict who is mean and cruel and will be with other women do drugs and than accuse me of being crazy. Please if anyone has any advice or support or anything for that matter I just dont know what to do anymore im exhausted! Sorry this post is so long there is even soo much I left out. Im lost!
I'm addicted to bath salts and scared. I don't know which direction to go, slowly stop or stop with help of any other drugs. I recently moved to NM to escape my addictions to meth, heroin, pills, coke,x, weed, and LSD. I was feeling clean and responsible when I made the mistake to just try bath salt out of curiosity and now stuck in my own hell once again. I don't have family close by and don't want to tell them cuz they will.worry and look at me like I used to be. I have no friends nor a job, I'm scared and need help fast.
And thank you, all, for the kind words....its nice to remember that this isnt impossible, and that others have beat this horrible sickness. Its sometimes very frustrating to talk to friends and family that tell you to "just stop" as if i enjoyed the lifestyle
I just feel like I get entirely too sick, and another obstacle is it is available to me, in my house, 24/7 due to a family riddled with health problems. I think I need medically detoxed and then kept away from the temptation for an additional month, what should i expect in an inpatient rehab program?
Hello,
I just wanted to share with you my experience. I recently completed an inpaitent rehab facility and I have to say it was a great experience. If that is available to you i would go, go, go. And as everybody will tell you aftercare is a must. My facility encouraged it and took us to outside meetings. I am 50 days clean today and feeling great. I continue to go to my meetings and LOVE then!!
I just wanted to share with you my experience. I recently completed an inpaitent rehab facility and I have to say it was a great experience. If that is available to you i would go, go, go. And as everybody will tell you aftercare is a must. My facility encouraged it and took us to outside meetings. I am 50 days clean today and feeling great. I continue to go to my meetings and LOVE then!!
Wow. There are people on here with much more knowledge than I have. I'm in a slightly different place, being dependent rather than addicted, but I'm tapering off myself (not getting a ton of support from my pain team ... I realized my medication alone was nearly $40,000 a year.) For me, the physical part is really difficult and I'm grateful not to have the cravings.
I have great admiration for ANYONE that gives up any alcohol or drugs regardless of whether they relapse or not. But I get touched very emotionally by certain stories and yours is certainly one. I think your generation has to face so much more than mine did. I never could tolerate drinking or drugs, even when I was young and "everyone" was doing it. I was always the one making sure everyone else was okay :)
Please, please don't eat the Fentanyl!!! I was on Fentanyl and for me, it changed me physically and mentally. I would never tell a pain patient it's not any good, but for me, it caused a lot of problems. I had a friend who would take it orally and she did beat it. But it was hard. She tapered down using it properly (well, properly for who it was prescribed.) She had the kind that could be cut. She then used some other medications from that and then went to a detox. I think if you can get to a detox to help you through this and if possible, do an in-patient aftercare.
I just recently saw a program about these bath salts and their abuse and was horrified. I have four kids (two A students, one mediocre and one I have to use every trick to get him from grade to grade :) I worry ALL the time that they'll get caught into something wacky, like the bath salts. These days things are too accessible and there is sooo much temptation. I know that even though I've been fortunate that they are not into alcohol or any drugs that it could all change.
I worked in the court and always was depressed by what I saw when it involved kids. And it always had to do with addiction. I am praying for you to beat this. You have too much ahead of you and you are playing with far too much. I know it's been out of your control but you have to put it all away NOW!!!!
This is too long (like most of my posts.) I'm happy you are in the right place and hope you get the help you deserve. Keep reading and posting until you get where you need to be. You can do this ... not easy but you can!!!
I have great admiration for ANYONE that gives up any alcohol or drugs regardless of whether they relapse or not. But I get touched very emotionally by certain stories and yours is certainly one. I think your generation has to face so much more than mine did. I never could tolerate drinking or drugs, even when I was young and "everyone" was doing it. I was always the one making sure everyone else was okay :)
Please, please don't eat the Fentanyl!!! I was on Fentanyl and for me, it changed me physically and mentally. I would never tell a pain patient it's not any good, but for me, it caused a lot of problems. I had a friend who would take it orally and she did beat it. But it was hard. She tapered down using it properly (well, properly for who it was prescribed.) She had the kind that could be cut. She then used some other medications from that and then went to a detox. I think if you can get to a detox to help you through this and if possible, do an in-patient aftercare.
I just recently saw a program about these bath salts and their abuse and was horrified. I have four kids (two A students, one mediocre and one I have to use every trick to get him from grade to grade :) I worry ALL the time that they'll get caught into something wacky, like the bath salts. These days things are too accessible and there is sooo much temptation. I know that even though I've been fortunate that they are not into alcohol or any drugs that it could all change.
I worked in the court and always was depressed by what I saw when it involved kids. And it always had to do with addiction. I am praying for you to beat this. You have too much ahead of you and you are playing with far too much. I know it's been out of your control but you have to put it all away NOW!!!!
This is too long (like most of my posts.) I'm happy you are in the right place and hope you get the help you deserve. Keep reading and posting until you get where you need to be. You can do this ... not easy but you can!!!
I think I know what you're talking about with those bath salts.....
I read some article in Newsweek about how these companies are now selloing these "bath salts" or potpourri or incense and actually they're laced with synthetic drugs - amphetamines and opiate-like substances. Pretty nasty stuff so it's GREAT that you're quitting.
Life is SO much better off the drugs and you'll see that with some more time behind you. You've made the first step and if you think inpatient rehab is the way to go, then do it. Only YOU know what kind of recovery care you'll need - and take the help wherever you can get it!! We all need help sometimes - ESPECIALLY through recovery/rehab.
You'll get there - go slow with your expectations for a while of feeling great - it'll happen but it takes time. And with every passing day you'll know you're once step closer. That's all it is really - you just gotta do the work. And you have made the first step!!
Good luck to you - and keep posting - this forum is really powerful for support. :)
I read some article in Newsweek about how these companies are now selloing these "bath salts" or potpourri or incense and actually they're laced with synthetic drugs - amphetamines and opiate-like substances. Pretty nasty stuff so it's GREAT that you're quitting.
Life is SO much better off the drugs and you'll see that with some more time behind you. You've made the first step and if you think inpatient rehab is the way to go, then do it. Only YOU know what kind of recovery care you'll need - and take the help wherever you can get it!! We all need help sometimes - ESPECIALLY through recovery/rehab.
You'll get there - go slow with your expectations for a while of feeling great - it'll happen but it takes time. And with every passing day you'll know you're once step closer. That's all it is really - you just gotta do the work. And you have made the first step!!
Good luck to you - and keep posting - this forum is really powerful for support. :)
HI the only way this will work is the desire to get clean must exceed the desire to get high
as an addict you must change the very way you think and reson this is not ez it is something that needs to be tought to you by groups like N/A or A/A or a drug therapist or substance abuse conslor....just quiting the drugs is not enough alll that dose is makes you a dry addict
the pills or substance is not the problem it is the desire to excape that is it often runs deeper then we care to go to get well I have been in consoling for 3 yr and have delt with some very painful parts of life but in the end it has set me free......I highly recamend N/A to anyone trying to get there life back on track you will meet like minded clean people have somewhere to share that people will understand and form new friendships with REAL friends ...I am often asked what will I have to chage to get clean....my answaer is always the same just one thing.....everything all persons places and things that have any connection to using its a sacrifice ....one many refuse to give up but unless you do you will go back to using this is not stuff we make up as we go along it is learned from the school of hard knocks good luck with your recovery you can do this......Gnarly
as an addict you must change the very way you think and reson this is not ez it is something that needs to be tought to you by groups like N/A or A/A or a drug therapist or substance abuse conslor....just quiting the drugs is not enough alll that dose is makes you a dry addict
the pills or substance is not the problem it is the desire to excape that is it often runs deeper then we care to go to get well I have been in consoling for 3 yr and have delt with some very painful parts of life but in the end it has set me free......I highly recamend N/A to anyone trying to get there life back on track you will meet like minded clean people have somewhere to share that people will understand and form new friendships with REAL friends ...I am often asked what will I have to chage to get clean....my answaer is always the same just one thing.....everything all persons places and things that have any connection to using its a sacrifice ....one many refuse to give up but unless you do you will go back to using this is not stuff we make up as we go along it is learned from the school of hard knocks good luck with your recovery you can do this......Gnarly
the bath salts were more of a psychological addiction with withdrawal symptoms only causing fatigue...but in my area we had a stronger class of them with a highly addictive chemical in it which recently has been banned in my state. Thank you though, its nice to find people that understand where im coming from when i talk about my issues. Its also good to see quitting is possible
Hey there! I'm not entirely sure how one gets addicted to bath salts, but I DO understand the rest of it! And you can totally do this! You definitely have to get some kind of aftercare and support or you will go through this over and over until you do! (that would be my story!!!!!)
We can help support you here too! : )
We can help support you here too! : )
Thank you, I will save this, and look forward to thanking you for the encouragement when I beat this. God knows I will have an appreciation for life that not everyone has.
Hi and welcom to the forum.
As I said in some of my posts today, I think that people who overcome addiction, depression, and tragedy are the cream of the crop. You started your recovery the first time you hated the medication and really wanted to be free from it. I don't have to tell you to do this or that and to never take pills again because.....
It will happen. I don't worry about people who relapse. There is nothing you can do to stop the recovery now that it has started. You can do it a few ways. A lot of people have to hit rock bottom. (Like in a situation where you wish you could help someone but they won't come to you because they think you are emotionless).
Some people need a "miracle" or climactic event (such as finding a new love or regressing back to where you feel like a kid again)
A lot of people have to give up on life and kill theirself or just think that taking their life would be better than being stuck in this unforgiving complicated world.
I had to experience all three but it is not a requirement
Whether you think negative, hate yourself, or just feel lonely and depressed.....
You have no power over recovery. It is going to happen. I can't say when but it won't be long. It is useless to think noone can help you because when your spirit tells your mind that it is time, you will find that you did it yourself. You can think me or anyone else on here if it makes you feel good but don't give anyone else all the credit. In the end all the bad memories can be credited for your sobriety hust as much as the good ones.
If you have never lived in hell, you cannot enjoy heaven. When we make it through this we get to be free from worry and peaceful as if we were in heaven. Save this message until you recover. Don't read it again until you do because you will notice once you do in your own interpretation that everything I just said you have aleady realized.
As you will learn my favorite saying is "We all live in cycles. Notice the ironies of life and enjoy them." If you were every happy it was because you were sad at some point. If you were ever sad it was because you were happy at some point (cycle). If you have ever truly loved someon it is because you felt anger equal to that love at some point in life. If you have ever experienced anger in your life it is because you experience love (cycle)....
If you ever ever experience heaven on this earth it is because you have experienced hell on this earth (cycle).....
When you get there you will find that the substances did not kill your creativity or love for life. They just made life without them better. Good Luck and keep posting.
As I said in some of my posts today, I think that people who overcome addiction, depression, and tragedy are the cream of the crop. You started your recovery the first time you hated the medication and really wanted to be free from it. I don't have to tell you to do this or that and to never take pills again because.....
It will happen. I don't worry about people who relapse. There is nothing you can do to stop the recovery now that it has started. You can do it a few ways. A lot of people have to hit rock bottom. (Like in a situation where you wish you could help someone but they won't come to you because they think you are emotionless).
Some people need a "miracle" or climactic event (such as finding a new love or regressing back to where you feel like a kid again)
A lot of people have to give up on life and kill theirself or just think that taking their life would be better than being stuck in this unforgiving complicated world.
I had to experience all three but it is not a requirement
Whether you think negative, hate yourself, or just feel lonely and depressed.....
You have no power over recovery. It is going to happen. I can't say when but it won't be long. It is useless to think noone can help you because when your spirit tells your mind that it is time, you will find that you did it yourself. You can think me or anyone else on here if it makes you feel good but don't give anyone else all the credit. In the end all the bad memories can be credited for your sobriety hust as much as the good ones.
If you have never lived in hell, you cannot enjoy heaven. When we make it through this we get to be free from worry and peaceful as if we were in heaven. Save this message until you recover. Don't read it again until you do because you will notice once you do in your own interpretation that everything I just said you have aleady realized.
As you will learn my favorite saying is "We all live in cycles. Notice the ironies of life and enjoy them." If you were every happy it was because you were sad at some point. If you were ever sad it was because you were happy at some point (cycle). If you have ever truly loved someon it is because you felt anger equal to that love at some point in life. If you have ever experienced anger in your life it is because you experience love (cycle)....
If you ever ever experience heaven on this earth it is because you have experienced hell on this earth (cycle).....
When you get there you will find that the substances did not kill your creativity or love for life. They just made life without them better. Good Luck and keep posting.
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