How do I help my violent meth addicted son.

[happygrandma1]

My son is 27 years old.  He began using meth at about age 14.  I did not realize he had a problem until about age 17.  My husband and I have spent a fortune on attorneys, counselors, rehab, psychiatrists,medications, getting him jobs, even taking him out of the US to get away from meth. I am now just giving him money so he won't hurt me and give me some peace.  I am raising his 2 sons ages 2 and 7.  I recently put a restraining order against him because I am tired of him threating to kill me, and he is now saying it in front of his children. He told his son he wanted to kill me when his son said grandma is nice.    4 days after I filed the restraing order he forced his way into my home and he assaulted shoving me to the ground,  choking me, banging my head till I have whiplash, knee injury and a broken heart.  His 7 year old son saw the entire assault.  I filed a report at the police station and he now has a warrant.  His son is having nightmares and we are all scared he will come again and hurt us. His son ask me to please shoot his daddy if he comes to hurt us again.. He texts me daily he hates me and wants me to die.  He has even texts his friends he wants to kill me.  He blames me for taking his sons, although 1 he signed over to me because he had a shooting with intent to kill charge and his attorney told him to give me guardianship of the child, and the second child I hired an attorney to get him out of state custody.He blames me for every problem in his life.   I am trying to not give him any more money even though he texts me several times a day begging, pleading, saying he is starving...his girlfriend is 8months pregnant and she wants  money too.  If I give him $5 or $500 it is gone that day.  I have handed him 300 dollars and in  2 hours he be cursing me for more.  This has almost financially destroyed the family and his father said if I don't stop giving him money he will leave me and  the grandchildren.  My husband  works out of state and doesn't have to live in this mess, so he doesn't know how afraid I am.  I go night after night with no sleep, and I work every day, and take care of children.  I don't want to see my son anymore if he won't get clean.  I told him today to turn himself into the police and get clean in jail.  If he will truly try to help himself, his dad and I will help him. It seems now we are just throwing money into a big hole.  I love my son sooooo much, but I am tired of being afraid of him,tired of being hurt physicall, mentally, emotionally  tired of his sons seeing his crazy behavior, tired of him interupting movies, playing  with the boys in the park, birthday parties, ect..just to get money from me for meth.  I need some help..Anyone have any suggestions?  

[vicki595]

I don't understand why the police can't pick him up with that warrant. If he's calling then the call can be traced to a location, cell phone or land line...

This is crazy. No one needs to live in this kind of fear. Don't give him any more money. Do try to find out where he's staying and send the police there. Enough is enough! Don't let him do this anymore...he's been threatening you to everyone and he's nuts right now. Turn him over!!

[ImDONENoMore]

Or if leaving isn't an option, is there a friend who can come stay with you?  Perhaps someone your husband trusts to help keep you all safe right now?

[ImDONENoMore]

Oh my, I'm so sorry you're going through all of this.

Is there someplace else you can stay with the children for a little while until things calm down and/or the police find him and charge him?  Please put your safety and theirs ahead of his needs.  He's in full-blown addiction, it sounds, and isn't thinking rationally.  I'm guessing you mean crystal meth?  If so, the drug causes hallucinations, panic and can lead to extremely violent behavior.  PLEASE find someplace safe to go okay?  And let the police know what he's been doing - the constant harassment okay?  He needs help and it sounds like he's going to have to get that help in jail.  I know how scared you must be and how hurt you must feel but you must protect yourself and the kids.