1320573 tn?1284658781

How do I quit? Help!

I am a 20 year old normal girl, Except I have one secret that only my boyfriend knows- I am addicted to prescription painkillers. Nothing really in specific, whatever I can get my hands on... Percocet, vicodin, oxy, methadone, suboxone, anything really... It has gotten so bad that if I don't take anything I have bad bad withdrawls. I have been taking the painkillers for about a year. my boyfriend and I are both addicted. I take up to 100 mg a day. I would give anything to get off this ****. its starting to take its toll on my life, everything is starting to fall apart. I just don't know what to do anymore. I would love to wake up and not take a pill but i feel like i cant control it... its something i have to do to be able to function like a normal human being. I can't tell my parents because they would be so dissapointed. This is getting so out of control.
Anyways, I have gotten 25 10 mg methadone and I was wondering if anyone knows if this will help me? I can get more if I need it... I was just hoping that I could use the methadone to help me get off the painkillers... but since i have acquired these pills, i know nothing about them. Any help would be aprecciated. I really really want to be done with this crap! I want my life back!
17 Responses
271792 tn?1334979657
Hi & Welcome,

You can use the Methadone to taper down and that will ease the withdrawal but there are a lot of risks involved. First, getting addicted tot he Methadone is one and two is the tapering itself. Very few people can taper without help. It is best done with someone who can hold them for you and dose them according to the schedule. If you have someone to do that, you may be successful.

Now, what are you going to do about your boyfriend? You are going to stop and he is going to continue using? When you think about it, you have to see that will not work hun.

Do you have family that you can go stay with and trust to help you with a taper?
Avatar universal
Hi~  We can't really advise you on the methadone. It's a strong drug that is prescribed
and supervised by medical professionals. Do you have a doctor?  That would be my suggestion...call your doctor,tell the truth,and ask for help. There's much you can do to get through withdrawals. Stop the pills before you hit absolute bottom...
Keep posting~
1320573 tn?1284658781
I can't tell anyone in my family, they are all very successful and no one would understand. I don't even understand how I let myself get like this... It started out with percocet for some wisdom teeth that i had pulled last summer. then I got kidney stones a month later and was again prescribed percocet. since then I have been buying it from friends and relatives. I honestly would give anything to have my boyfriend quit with me. I was hoping that by him seeing me quit the pills it would give him motivation to do it himself. I just want to be done, to wake up and feel normal again.
Avatar universal
I,personally,can not advise you to take the methadone. It's a very strong drug and needs to be monitored and dosed appropriately. Plus,you know nothing about it and don't have a doctor prescribing it. Being that it's illegal would be the least of your problems.  You simply need to stop the pills or,I promise you,things will get worse for you.  I understand you didn't mean to become addicted but you did. Now turn it around.

You say you are a normal girl. Is it normal to keep secrets,buy drugs off the streets,take drugs you know nothing about,and live with a person who does the same?

Once off all the pills,you'll feel like you have the flu...push through it. There are many otc's that can help. You can even attend some NA meetings...You just need to quit.
If you take Methadone,you end up having to withdraw from that...

Keep posting and good luck~
271792 tn?1334979657
Vicki is right about the Methadone.

I wish I could give you some other advise but I don't know what to say. If you won't tell your family and still plan to stick around with your boyfriend who is using, then you have one heck of a fight on your hands. You getting clean is not going to magically open his eyes. He has to want to get clean and I have not heard you say that.

The first time I went to rehab my family thought I was away on business and did not suspect anything. By the time I went the 2nd time I was very sick and when I got there the doctor insisted that I call a family member. I chose my middle brother. He cried so hard and I remember him saying "Thank GOD, I didn't know what was wrong with you. I thought you were dying". He and the rest of my family stuck with me and supported me all the way. You would be amazed what family does. Also, it doesn't seem that you don't have much of a relationship with them if you are keeping secrets, so really--what do you have to lose?

You have a lot of decisions to make here and I hope you make the right ones before it is too late.

Best of luck.
199177 tn?1490498534
I am going to tell you  I can assure you your parents would want to know and would help you .I have an 18 yearold daughter it would break my heart to hear she had been going threw something like this and not come to me for help.
Instead of using the methadone I strongly urge you to talk to your parents and look into rehab .That would give you are stong support system .Using one drug to get off more drugs is just keeping you in the same accitcive cycle . I hope you rethink talking to your parents .Hang in there ..
Avatar universal
IBK~   You are so right!!   Never underestimate the strength and understanding of a family. It's like the old: "United we stand;divided we fall".  

Cheesy~ Listen to us,Sweetie. We've been there and could have written the book!!
Be a big,strong girl and just stop. A year of use is not so long that you can't recover quickly.  There are so many on the forum who will offer support all the way through.Okay?

Avatar universal
I am 20 years old too and considered myself a "normal girl." Lots of friends, was in college, my family didn't know about anything. I am addicted to oxycontin, and was snorting 2-3 80s a day. The feeling you talk about, not being able to function without them, not being able to even get out of bed in the morning, I so relate to that. I experienced that everyday, it was horrible. I tried to stop on my own without telling anyone many many times, and usually around a week and a half i'd relapse. Addiction is tricky and your head does anything to tell you that you need those pills. It will always be thinking of reasons as to why you need to get high, whether it's to help you get through the day, give you some energy, so you feel good, there's always a reason. Not to say that you can't stop on your own, because I hope that you can and power to you if you can. For me personally, it finally took me getting honest with my parents and going to rehab. Believe me I never thought i'd tell my parents, people on here suggested it to me and I thought they were crazy. But in the end they were right. If not rehab, or not telling your parents, i'd suggest try going to some meetings, maybe get a sponsor. I hope the best for you, you deserve more in life. Also, I am only speaking from my own experiences so I hope it didn't come across as preachy or like I know it all (because i don't, i'm still learning how to be sober everyday) Good luck to you
Avatar universal
Also I was beyond terrified of telling my parents. They had no idea, they knew I partied and "had a good time" but no idea the extent. I finally got to the point where it was just like, everything I was trying to do wasn't working and if I wanted to be sober then I didn't really see any other way, because I needed real help. My parents were so understanding, they still are. I am so close with them now, they always say they are proud of me, and support me completely. It feels good to be honest with them.
Avatar universal
Honey, if you are 20 years old, you have your entire life to look forward to.  You don't want to depend on pills and lose everything over drug abuse, do you?  I really don't think that you do.  Not at all.  I think that what you are saying is that you really want to be free of this ball n chain.  It is a miserable existence.  I did it for 14 years, and I am finally free.  It takes a few days of toughing it out, but you CAN do it.  I was a 20 year old "normal" girl too, and I didn't stop.  Now I am 37, and I am just happy to be done!!!  It is NEVER too late, but you need to stop before your addiction progresses.  It will only get harder from here on out.  

Do this for yourself!  You are worth it.

Keep posting please.  You will get so much help here!

Lea Ann
1316872 tn?1276064195
everyone is so right you have to tell your parents. I didn't want to have to tell my mom. She kinda knew but I denied it to her and told her it wasn't as bad as it was she was so happy I told her so she could help me. Your family will be glad you told them too and they are right if also about your boyfriend I know you probably love him but if he is using its too tempting. My very best friend was my partner in crime so to speak we fed each others addictions when one of us didn't have pills the other one gave that one pills well I've tried to get clean before while she was living with me and I couldn't cuz they were always in the house and I knew they woud make me feel better you have to get away from pills all together or you will use again. Good luck honey and I wish you nothing but luck just remember your stronger than any addiction put your mind to sobrity and it will happen
1320573 tn?1284658781
Thank you all so much for the words of advice. I am so scared right now. I really want to do this for myself but I know that its going to be so hard. i keep reading all of these posts and i can relate to so many people here! i want to tell my mom so bad but im scared that i will she will be upset. i appreciate everyones support. how did you decide to be clean?
495284 tn?1333894042
You will feel so much better when you dont have this secret hanging over your head.  Our secrets keep us sick.  Yes our parents are disappointed and that is okay.  That doesnt mean they dont love you.....As parents we want the best for our kids.  Family support is a very good thing to have when dealing with this.  You are so worth getting your life back and living clean again.  Dont keep this secret, tell your mom.  We are here for you.....sara
Avatar universal
If you take the methadone you'll become addicted to that. Your going to like the feeling of the methadone too much. Your allready addicted to other pain meds so this will be no different.

If you take the methadone don't take any other pain pills because the methadone will over ride them all. You could end up od' ing also.

The best advice I have for you is to tell your parents. They love you and will be by your side every step of the way. Don't be ashamed to tell them. We all make mistakes, we are only human.

At least seek out some kind of treatment. I know this is the last thing you want to hear. Have you tried rehab? I know your parents will approve of that. They will support you on rehab.

Also have you looked into suboxone and subutex treatment. At least that would get you off all those pain pills and you wouldn't have to go through the withdrawal with the pain pills. If you do a short term sub treatment you shouldn't have a problem coming off those either.

If that boyfriend of yours doesn't get help also there is no use in you even quitting the pain pills. Seeing him using will just make you relapse.

Tell your parents and seek treatment.
Avatar universal
HI as a addict myself and parent of an addict I can tell you the last thing I ever wanted to here come out of one of my kids mouth was "dad im addicted to crack&methamphetamine"" but I will tell you this thew 4yrs of active addiction I never gave up once on my daughter ..we did everything humanly possible to try and help we eventually came to grips that she will change when she hits rock bottom...she lived on the street went to jail and got into a near fatal auto accident but then she was ready to get clean not one time did I ever give up on her and wanting to help her even though she put the whole family thew he!! and back...we love our daughter... a parents love is unconditional...go to your parents with this...I assure you they will want to help you and right now you could use there help ...dont let the thought of withdrawals frighten you ..it is always worst in our minds then it actually is ...its a lot like ketching the flu your going to be sick for a few days the symptoms are very similar with some added anxiety but you will make it thew...your so young to be caring around such a burden ..living on the pills is no way to go thew life I did the pill thing for 10yr and then 6 1/2 more on methadone it was a total wast ...you dont want to go where I have been
YOU CAN DO THIS its just going to take some help from your family and some perseverance...keep reading the posts here and keep posting yourself...it would be really cool if you could move back in with your folks and get this whole mess straitened out ...good luck and God bless......Gnarly        
Avatar universal
also take it from a methadone addict ....toss the stuff out you dont want to get strung out on methadone the withdrawal is horrific
Avatar universal
Like I said, I never thought i'd tell my parents, never, but when I finally did, I was surprised at how supportive they were. They told me over and over they were just so glad I was able to reach out and ask for help. The love of a parent to their daughter/son is stronger than anything else and asking for help will only show you how much they love you. If I was a parent I would want to do anything to help my child, and if they were struggling with something and I didn't know it, I would only hope they would come to me to tell me so I could help them through. I'm sure they'd be more upset to know you were struggling and they weren't there to help. A few months ago I would have never said something like this because I never thought i'd tell my parents. But after telling them, and seeing their support the past few months, it's showed me how much they care about me, and at times, I wasn't sure they really did. Now i know, I hope you find the courage to tell them, and give them a chance to show you how much they care and want to help you.
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495284 tn?1333894042
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