Aa
How is everyone on this beautiful Sunday morning?
Good morning all,Im just sitting here with a good cup of coffee watching the doves and hummingbirds fight over food.It looks like a scene from THE BIRDS lol Day 9 for me and I still feel pretty good.I hope everyone had a restful night.
Chezz,I hope your ok.
pixi
Chezz,I hope your ok.
pixi
Good morning smiley
I rally do understand what your going through.You have made the first step by coming here and sharing your story.I can tell that you truly want to fight this addiction.I know that you will reach that point of saying I CAN DO THIS TOO! I am so glad you are here.We will all help in any way we can.
pixi
I rally do understand what your going through.You have made the first step by coming here and sharing your story.I can tell that you truly want to fight this addiction.I know that you will reach that point of saying I CAN DO THIS TOO! I am so glad you are here.We will all help in any way we can.
pixi
Hi pixi, its me agian smiley, I was just wanted to say thank you for taking the time to help all these people with your past expierences and current struggles. I want you to know that gives me hope and faith that God will help through this big ordeal that I am fighting to do. I guess I feel that I'm all alone and that I couldn't do this on my own. I started a support group, but I hav'nt shared my hidden secret of my addiction, I'm so scared. I trully feel my body is so sick of this medication, but every time I try to stop, my body starts doing some really scary stuff. I want to be a good mother and a good friend, but I feel like I'm hiding a big lie, and if anyone finds out I will lose my childrens respect and love.
sincerely, smiley77
sincerely, smiley77
concratulations everyone on your clean time. Hang in there guys its worth it in the long run. And you feel heeps better for doning it. I have great admiration for anyone who goes through this **** and stays clean. Peace
Can't recall who asked, but Paraguay is landlocked, south of Bolivia, east of Brazil, north of Argentina. Small country, very rural. I came here for this CT detox, because I have a friend who has a farm, and there is lot's of nature and I can clear the body+mind. I am actually from S Florida which must be one of the hydro capitals of the world. I am going back in 2 weeks, and will be sourrounded by all of my "sources"...how many do I want to buy, 100? 1000?...easy as a candy store. I think it is harder to detox when there is ANY CHANCE that you can get the drug. I salute all of you who have been able to move along. By the time I get back, I will be over the "mental desire" to return to being superman. It will be hard, because the body will tell me that it will be more like the first 2 years, when I was invincible, than the last 2 years, when I was miserable.
Saludos!
Saludos!
Day 6 for me,with a little help from Xanax. Such a teeny little pill that makes a world of difference. Nothing can bother me on this gorgeous fall day. Have a great day everyone!!
Day 6!! Really?? That's fabulous! I thought you were in taper-hell. But my memory is so bad. Even when I go back and read thru the posts, I forget by the time I get to the posting screen.
Thrilled for you!
Thrilled for you!
Good morning....You sound wonderful today!Day 6 was the start of my feeling human again.Keep up the good work.
pixi
pixi
Hows things in sunny Fla this lovely morning?you are usually the early bird around here.Probably out at baskin robbins with your four legged friends lol
pixi
pixi
Keep counting, OK? Then I'll know where I am.
Yep, it's my sister. She is just coming off a bad experience with methadone detox. My guess is she won't make it here clean. Coming with her family from far away.
I think the drugs have made her manic/depressive. I don't want to be her mother. I need too much myself. I worry constantly about her kids. She talks about suicide every day.
The thing is that tension can set off my disc pain. And then i'm in deep s#$%.
Yep, it's my sister. She is just coming off a bad experience with methadone detox. My guess is she won't make it here clean. Coming with her family from far away.
I think the drugs have made her manic/depressive. I don't want to be her mother. I need too much myself. I worry constantly about her kids. She talks about suicide every day.
The thing is that tension can set off my disc pain. And then i'm in deep s#$%.
Hey Cin,I know this sounds mean,but is there any way you can stop your sis from coming?you don't need the stress right now.Maybe later when your strong enough to take the physical and mental pain.I have 4 sisters myself,all having troubles and they think Im the strong one lol If they only knew!
pixi
pixi
No way, can't be done. It's not mean, btw. (You could never be meaner than me, sweetie)
About the air base thing.Thursday afternoon my wife got a call from her unit and they were updating their call list.She is a
Army Reserve Nurse in one of thoses mash units.There is something up and it's called going to Iqaq.I can't imagine her
getting that call to report but I think my fears are coming true.
Ok well like she said,she signed up and they have been paying
her all these years and it pay back time.I just hope we bomb the place and not send ground troops because if we do,she's gone.
bmac
p.s. Hey Pixi,Good game!!!
Army Reserve Nurse in one of thoses mash units.There is something up and it's called going to Iqaq.I can't imagine her
getting that call to report but I think my fears are coming true.
Ok well like she said,she signed up and they have been paying
her all these years and it pay back time.I just hope we bomb the place and not send ground troops because if we do,she's gone.
bmac
p.s. Hey Pixi,Good game!!!
b mac stay positive, god kows we need to, you shoul be proud of your wife . good read youpost have good day brother
peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
cincee , yes i ment brakfast, i have always kidded about being an addict and how it effests my whole life, like being an addict we are just not like normal or average people.
i have always felt like i have struggled to be average.
the definition of a normal person is 1 personalty or less.
we as addicts have different personalities, when i was growing up
when i hung out with the good guys i felt like a bad guy,
when i hung out with the bad i guys i felt like i was a good guy.
i amd basicly anti social , so it is always a struggle for me
to fit in .
or just do normal things.
peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
cincee , yes i ment brakfast, i have always kidded about being an addict and how it effests my whole life, like being an addict we are just not like normal or average people.
i have always felt like i have struggled to be average.
the definition of a normal person is 1 personalty or less.
we as addicts have different personalities, when i was growing up
when i hung out with the good guys i felt like a bad guy,
when i hung out with the bad i guys i felt like i was a good guy.
i amd basicly anti social , so it is always a struggle for me
to fit in .
or just do normal things.
OK, I get it. It's just that's there other weird things people do with oatmeal besides eat it. LOL
Thanks for the morning wishes. Day 9 for the Bear and it feels pretty good. Slept in today... getting back to a normal sched. with my wife.'/!#@$.
No flexiril, or Klonopin last night. Also I am Starting to cut back from the L-tyrosine to 4x500mg instead of 8x500mg daily. Accross the board my intake of vitamins is 50% as of today. The only suppliment that will stay the same is the Milk Thistle x 3 daily for Liver detox and improved function. The vitamins are good for the brain and WD, but absolute hell on our stomachs and colen. "Thomas' Recipe" really helped my WD.
I truly love reading the daily threads. Just because I have been light on my posting does not mean I'm not reading the daily threads. I'm here....
Chezz? Where are you? Is everything OK?
Goldenbear
No flexiril, or Klonopin last night. Also I am Starting to cut back from the L-tyrosine to 4x500mg instead of 8x500mg daily. Accross the board my intake of vitamins is 50% as of today. The only suppliment that will stay the same is the Milk Thistle x 3 daily for Liver detox and improved function. The vitamins are good for the brain and WD, but absolute hell on our stomachs and colen. "Thomas' Recipe" really helped my WD.
I truly love reading the daily threads. Just because I have been light on my posting does not mean I'm not reading the daily threads. I'm here....
Chezz? Where are you? Is everything OK?
Goldenbear
Day 7. I'm now past where I was when I slipped big (on 9/23, which was then day 6)for 24 hours followed by just enough to get me though the work week w/o crashing and a quick taper over last weekend. Next mile stone is 3 weeks (which I haven't done since mid June to early July), then a full month (which I haven't seen since last March). I'm going to get to these and much longer day-by-day.
I'm really glad pixi made me think of the Odyssey yesterday. I printed out that part from Book XII and plan to be "bound to the mast" if/when the hydro calls to me.
Well, back to the day . . . .
CATUF
I'm really glad pixi made me think of the Odyssey yesterday. I printed out that part from Book XII and plan to be "bound to the mast" if/when the hydro calls to me.
Well, back to the day . . . .
CATUF
I an intermittent poster...on day 7 from a 4 year lorcet addiction. Encouragement to those who are reading these postings wondering if they can go off the meds, as I did 2-3 weeks back. I live in a remote part of Paraguay, and have no access to any of the Thomas ingredientes. I went flat out CT, just using hot baths, theraputic massages (cheap here), and lot's of nature. Days 1-3 and even part of day 4 were hell, no doubt about it. I had 30 minutes of sleep each day. But the beautiful thing is how fast you begin to recover. Each day is a bit better. Last night I slept straight from midnight to 7 am for the first time. I have "lost" all physical cravings for the hydro, but I do still miss them, and would be challenged if a handful were placed in front of me. But I will beat that in a few more days or weeks.
It can be done, and if you are fortunate enough to have access to Thomas ingrediente, even more so.
The other beautiful part about the whole detox process is how you feel like like the "garbage is coming out of your system". Maybe I was doing the wrong thing, but I did not stop the "runs". For me, going to the b-room with hydro was a mission to mars, maybe 1-2 times a week. I had gone from a 5'9 muscular 145 pounds, 6 mile a day runner, to a 170 pounder with a large belly, who could not muster 3 miles. I constantly had a terrified feeling about what the implic ations were of not going to the bathroom.
On day 7 I am down 10 pounds, all in the tummy. I finally feel like my organs are being allowed to do their job. I am far too weak to run even 2 miles, but I will begin this afternoon a 1/2 mile a day walk/run increment program, and some weights.
The most difficult thing will be to overcome the delusional confidence level that the hydros give you. I was a high power corp exec up until a few months ago, when I took a sabbatical to clear my priorities. Beginning 4 years ago, the hydros (10 day) were my extra confidence boost, and AT FIRST allowed me to extend my frenetic work day to 18 hours, 6 days a week, meetings and meetings, intense social life, followed by a run every day late at night or early morning...NUTS. My cohorts were amazed, what an executive, one of a kind...work, pary, workout, all results. HOWEVER, as like Cinderella, the hydro boost is a bust in short order. After 2 years of the superman style enhancement, came the second 2 years of becoming more and more lethargic, not wanting to excecise, gaining weight, dozing off in meetings, losing my usual sharpness on mind and criterea, and feeling increasing worried that I was poisoning myself. That is when I said stop and I started looking for help, and found this site.
I assume some of this must sound familiar to some of you. What a nasty little drug, what an ability to seduce even the strongest of you, wrap you in pelasure and confidence, and then slam dunk you. It can happen to anyone...in my case no drug background other than the casual puff in a party or beers at a game. A real devil's advocate, or the devil himself.
GO CANES ... from a CANES alum. No contest this year, too bad, really, bit boring. Lot's of Vols postings, see you soon.
Good luck to those "considering" but not posting...you can do it. Do yourself and your loved ones the favor.
It can be done, and if you are fortunate enough to have access to Thomas ingrediente, even more so.
The other beautiful part about the whole detox process is how you feel like like the "garbage is coming out of your system". Maybe I was doing the wrong thing, but I did not stop the "runs". For me, going to the b-room with hydro was a mission to mars, maybe 1-2 times a week. I had gone from a 5'9 muscular 145 pounds, 6 mile a day runner, to a 170 pounder with a large belly, who could not muster 3 miles. I constantly had a terrified feeling about what the implic ations were of not going to the bathroom.
On day 7 I am down 10 pounds, all in the tummy. I finally feel like my organs are being allowed to do their job. I am far too weak to run even 2 miles, but I will begin this afternoon a 1/2 mile a day walk/run increment program, and some weights.
The most difficult thing will be to overcome the delusional confidence level that the hydros give you. I was a high power corp exec up until a few months ago, when I took a sabbatical to clear my priorities. Beginning 4 years ago, the hydros (10 day) were my extra confidence boost, and AT FIRST allowed me to extend my frenetic work day to 18 hours, 6 days a week, meetings and meetings, intense social life, followed by a run every day late at night or early morning...NUTS. My cohorts were amazed, what an executive, one of a kind...work, pary, workout, all results. HOWEVER, as like Cinderella, the hydro boost is a bust in short order. After 2 years of the superman style enhancement, came the second 2 years of becoming more and more lethargic, not wanting to excecise, gaining weight, dozing off in meetings, losing my usual sharpness on mind and criterea, and feeling increasing worried that I was poisoning myself. That is when I said stop and I started looking for help, and found this site.
I assume some of this must sound familiar to some of you. What a nasty little drug, what an ability to seduce even the strongest of you, wrap you in pelasure and confidence, and then slam dunk you. It can happen to anyone...in my case no drug background other than the casual puff in a party or beers at a game. A real devil's advocate, or the devil himself.
GO CANES ... from a CANES alum. No contest this year, too bad, really, bit boring. Lot's of Vols postings, see you soon.
Good luck to those "considering" but not posting...you can do it. Do yourself and your loved ones the favor.
Good job Strider! Boy, do you sound better than you did just a few days ago!
What you were saying did sound very familiar - I can't count the number of nights I was up until 3 or 4, but still up by 6:30 or 7:00. The only thing you said that I can't relate to is weight gain -- I would lose 10 to 15 pounds on a binge and get back to normal only if clean for 3 or 4 weeks. What a roller coaster.
What you were saying did sound very familiar - I can't count the number of nights I was up until 3 or 4, but still up by 6:30 or 7:00. The only thing you said that I can't relate to is weight gain -- I would lose 10 to 15 pounds on a binge and get back to normal only if clean for 3 or 4 weeks. What a roller coaster.
my knowledge of geography is really (REALLY) bad...what is next to paraguay...i mean i know it's in south america. is it near bolivia? how long have you lived there? i guess hydros are readily available everywhere huh?
i enjoy your posts, and you sound much better. when i detoxed from them, i let myself get very dehydrated...i couldn't eat or drink anything. i wouldn't run anywhere until you make sure you are fully hydrated again...walking might be a better idea.
i incorporated metamucil into my diet while taking any type of narcotics, and it really works great. so, i never really had that "going" problem opiate addicts tend to experience.
anyhow, good to hear you are feeling better...keep posting:)
i enjoy your posts, and you sound much better. when i detoxed from them, i let myself get very dehydrated...i couldn't eat or drink anything. i wouldn't run anywhere until you make sure you are fully hydrated again...walking might be a better idea.
i incorporated metamucil into my diet while taking any type of narcotics, and it really works great. so, i never really had that "going" problem opiate addicts tend to experience.
anyhow, good to hear you are feeling better...keep posting:)
Good morning....thanx for your thoughts and inspiration.I love reading your posts,they have really helped me get to day 9.I hope your day is filled with good things.
pixi
pixi
Hi. After reading striders post, I am encouraged that things will get better for me. I'm 2 years on oxycontin. Today is my 6th day of cutting back into half the dose. I feel TERRIBLE. Minimal sleep. Leg kicks out of this world. My legs hurt so bad. My hands are cold and numb. Alittle shakey. I'm in hell and want out of this body. Any advice out there? I don't know if I should lay around (like I feel like doing) or get out and try to do something. My body feels so weird. I still have daily pain and am trying to manage some on my own. I know that I'm in this for awhile and that it will take along time to competely be free of OC's. Thanks for reading.
The more I read into the post's, the more I relate to Strider. I too was in the corporate world and lost my position to corporate downsizing (so anyway, "downsizing" was the word used for being canned!) An auto accident has me dependant on all this stuff. First Lorcet's, then another doc stopped the Lorect's and started the Oxycontin, along with Xanax, Neurontin, Celebrex, Soma and others, but those are the ones I'm wanting off of. I have taken it among myself to detox myself off. I'm confused because I still experinece pain on a daily basis, but want to deal with it differently, if at all possible. The drugs have made me feel somewhat normal and good for the past 2 years, but now I have found that I can't do anything until I start my day with at least 60 mg. OC. What a terrible life to live. I have also been informed that I have Acis REflux and I do believe that this is another result from popping so many pills on an empty stomach. I have ordered and on the way, Yoga tapes. I'm hoping that I can start myself into my own program of strenghtening and strecthing program. Today is a HELL day. I didn't get to sleep until 3am, was back up at 4 am and then again at 8am. I'm just looking for some advice or maybe just encouragment. Have a Great Day all and Hang in there.
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