Yes it is still from whats in us. Think how long we put the **** in us. Keep drinking fluids until your going to burst and eat good to this helps flush our systems out. Get exercise too.. Myself I hate this part but the more we exercise the better we feel.. I hope I helped some it take along time to get our minds and bodies back. But it took along time to get us where were at too.. Hang in there it does get Easier and better over TIME!!!!! Ill be praying for you. God Bless.. J.E.W.
Some of our opiate receptors control bowel motility, which is why opiates constipate. When you detox, diahrea is the consequence. Over the counter Imodium will take care of the problem. It is an opioid drug that binds to the receptors affecting bowel motility but not those that bring euphoria or pain relief. It is effective without being addictive. Keep a few in your pocket and use as needed. As for the chills, time will cure you of those. Until then, dress in layers and respond to how you feel as you feel it. You've gone two weeks. That's an eternity! You're over the worst. It's your mind that you must contend with now. Feel better.
I am not new to this forum because it has gotten me by for the last 2 weeks. I just haven't had the inner strenghth to "get involved". Today is day 14 of no more 10-14 a day 7.5 vicodins. The first 4 days were hell especially with 3 kids and a somewhat of non understanding spouse. He is glad I am off but doesn't understand how I "let myself" become addicted again. (I rehabed 3 years ago from a 2 year habit then) I was at first taking them for pain from a car accident but have an addictive personality and it wasn't long before I really, really "fell in love" again.
I am on here now to say that you have all helped and especially if it is you thomas03 that discovered the Thomas Receipe, you are my hero. It has helped tremendously, I know because I didn't have it 5 years ago when I detoxed before. I am not 100% yet and look forward to that time but I would have to say I am about 75% and that's alot better than a year ago when I felt as though my whole life depended on when I can get my next refill and how (consumed more than the prescribed amount and pharmacies and doctor started catching on). Never knew you could get them on the street and it's definately a good thing.
Don't get me wrong, if someone offered me one I would definately have to think and struggle but I beleive the last 2 weeks will have an impact of whether I really do it or not. ONE DAY AT A TIME!!!
I am sooo proud of you guys it is a great thing to make it two weeks. Hang in there...YOU have come through the worst...sooo proud!!
I just would like to know that one day soon, really soon, I will feel like a normal person. I didn't go out this weekend with friends because I was afraid I wasn't going to be my nice, fun, confident, normal self and they may not like the some what anxietied me.
Hello, my name is Kent and I'm also a mom to 3 kids and I know how hard it is believe me, I was up to snorting 4 80 mg oxycontin a day. I used to take so many pills nothing got to me, it was like who cares if the house is trashed I need to find some pills! I thought I was a good mom at the time because I was the "cool" mom who let all the kids play at my house. That was because my kids would play with them and leave me to my isolation. I wanted everyone to just leave me alone. I would yell at the kids inconsistantly and had terrible mood swings, the poor things never knew what to expect. After I yelled, I would go in the bathroom snort a pill and come out all smiles, no explanation just ok lets play now! I remember when I first got clean, one of the things I wrote in my gratitude journal was that I was thankful that now when the kids got on my nerves I would still yell at them but this time I would go in the bathroom and PRAY. I just kept saying "Lord help me, make me not so angry!" and when I came out the kids would usually get an apology and an explanation as to why their behavior needed to change. I changed from acting like Roseanne to acting like Mrs. Brady! they must have thought I was wacko! (well,I was)I am sooo very glad that I stopped while they are still young, my 2 younger children don't even remember, but my 8 year old does and definately harbors resentment towards me. Even now 2 years out of rehab (well actually 13 monthes clean after one 6 week relapse)I don't think she can really trust me yet but it is slowly getting better. I won't even go into the husband thing lets just say I relate to not feeling supported by your spouse. Although I have to admit, I have a good friend who is in the midst of it and even with everything I know I still get angry at her because she's not getting how badly she can screw up her life. It gets so frustrating sometimes. I guess God is trying to show me why my husband did what he did back then. You said you went to rehab so you have the tools to stay clean now. You know what to do. First off find a real live person that you can call and I went to meetings alot in the begining not everyday becase of my kids but enough to keep me grounded for awhile. Fourteen days is a long time without a pill. At your stage one hour feels like one day so your really doing great. Keep posting, there are alot of moms here that can help you to and of course you can help us to. Remember we are all in this together.
Hugs and welcome!
what thomas and the other said is just about
all there is to say,you will be feeling better soon,
2 weeks more than great its wonderful.
i will keep you in my prayers, keep up the good work.
Wow!!! Tears are filling my eyes right now. I can so relate to being the "cool" mom, yelling one minute taking a couple of pills and wanting to be their best friend. They are young and do not realize drugs are the reason. In the last 14 days I was "sick with the flu" and now am recovering but will need a little help from everyone as a family. See Vics gave me wonderful energy and I was the perfect housekeeper, maid and sex queen. Now for the last 2 weeks I am a slob, lazy and had sex maybe 2 times as oppossed to 12 like before. I just want to know when I will come to the happy medium.
This writing is helping already.....
I just need to write to vent. Im feeling really down right now and not wanting to be around. My arthritis hurts so bad all I have done is cry for hours. You guys are my only support. Everyone that is around me has always seen the strong side of me and doesnt understand all this like you do. All I can think about is running my car off the road. I know thats bad and selfish but I cant stand this anymore. You are always there for me and I just needed to talk. The depression just seems to get worse. I need help or someone who will just listen, cause my husband doesnt seem to. I feel like I talk to a wall when he's around. SOrry for my stupid sob story. I just know you guys always listen to me. I love you all.
I was worried about you. Havent heard from you lately. Hope you and your family are well. Ill be praying for you. God Bless... J.E.W.
OMIGOD!!! I totally get it!! I am at day 14 and need to talk my way thru this and was hoping it could be with the one I thought loves me the most in the world and I talked to the back of a head that had a body attached playing a guitar. I too have a non-supportative spouse but in no way will I ever feel or have felt thru this that I will let a chemical substance take something so precious away from me, my life...This forum has helped me thru these days and by the grace of God I have survived. If you are that bad you need to seek medical help, please!!
Thank you soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much for your comment. Maybe we can talk back and forth? You seem to understand. Why do our spouses treat us this way? Would they if they knew they were going to loose us? (huuuummmm) You wonder somtimes huh?
I appreicate you being here for me?!
Hey, it's not a stupid sob story - it's what we all are going through or have went through recently.
I know the depression thing, beleive me cause it hit me about 4 days ago. I come out of it in about 2-3 days and then things just turn around on me. What about you.
Are you still using or are you in detox mode? Have you been able to get any exercise? Also, are you using the recipe?
Think of all the great things in your life but most of all, try and think about something outside of you. Post some responses to the others here who are using and you will find some relief from the depression.
Pray that God will tell you why you ended up here, and finally, all evidence from everyone here suggests that each day gets a little better than the last...
God's Grace to you Erika. Hope you feel better soon.
Your crying and I'm smiling! I think I found my long lost twin sister! I too was a cookie baking, homework helping, project making, problem solving, over permissive super mom! For about ayear then it was all down hill. Doesn't that suck? It's good you stopped now, by the time I quit sex was the complete opposite. I didn't want to have sex at all anymore, I was numb and it wasn't worth the struggle if you know what I mean. Now, well lets just say my husband has been much more attentive and he seems to smile alot!
As far as when you'll feel better you should be getting spurts of some uptime within a few days maybe even tommorow. Its a gradual thing and at about a month clean you'll just realize you feel better and are more motivated to do things. There will still be some down times especially first thing when you wake up, I hated that! I wanted a pill to get me going so I could get the kids ready, pretty soon though coffee was enough. I relapsed after 8 monthes clean from a rehab for a short period because I honestly believed my kids should have a happy mommy for just one night. I thought there was no way I would relapse after what everyone had done for me while I was in the hospital. I was full blown immedialtely but I crawel into a meeting 6 weeks later, cried my eyes out and someone referred me to an addictionologist who detoxed me and put me on an antidepressant Zoloft and wellbutrin)and Ritalin, yes I abused it some, of course, but I didn't need it like opiates. I don't know if thats really what helped but I haven't had that horrible defeated feeling since then. Bad moods, yes. Tears, yes. Ups and downs, yes, but not extreme like before when I'd get a rush of euphoria then a horrific fall into depths of pure agony sometimes to the point of thinking I wanted to die. I have become much more balanced, you know, the way we are supposed to "feel", sometimes good, sometimes bad, but, I have laughed so more since I've been clean than I ever did when I thought I was that supermom person. I love to laugh and my kids are hysterical (when they are not getting on my nerves)it feels really great to be normal again. So hang in there a little bit longer you will see life is so much better clean. I promise. How old are your kids anyway? I have to log off but I will post again later tonight. Remember to breathe deeply when craving hits it will pass in just a few minutes you'll see.
Mine says he can't understand why I can't just quit and why am I not the same person anymore. I have too much of an insecurity to test the waters of would they be this way if they thought they were going to lose us? Unless you are taking in the life sense and not just the relationship sense....then I think if yours has the personality like mine then he would say I was just another crazy woman...(he has an ex-wife that I think was/is bi-polar)I think he is de-sensitized....Don't get me wrong he is a sweetheart deep down and would never intentionally hurt me but he is somewhat numb to feeling emotions. I have known him for 8 years but have only been involved for 2. He is not my spouse legally but we live together, just thought i would explain that.
I too feel as though I found my twin as far as wanting and thinking I am supermom with the homework, desert and a bed time story every night. I got goosebumps when you said the word balance because that is what I want now. Not the high if the really, really low has to come with it. I want the good with the bad, not the really, really good with the really, really bad. Does that make sense?
God, everything you said is identical to what Im going through. Weird. Yes, my husband is just like that. Why cant you be like when I first met you? Always, he says, I want Erika back. Ya, well I do too. Its not that easy is it? I can really relate to you. Promise me we wont loose touch?! I feel like I can talk to you and you understand. I appreciate you listening and responding. It means ALOT to me.
I promise I won't loose touch with you!!! I can't always get to the computer much at night because "he" uses it alot and isn't really thrilled with why I am using it right now. But I just got laid off my job and have days avail to chat. Some nights up until like 9 or 10 but mostly days. By the way, my name is Tammy and it is very nice to meet you....
Rex - How's the back bud!
lifeisbetter - Spent the weekend in New Orleans with my daughters dance company, did not go to Bourbon Street once! Must be getting old! (did go to the casino)How have you been?
Erika-Ann, Vicqueennomore - Hang in there ladies, I've lived you life from the man's side and I'll admit y'all have it tougher dealing with the kids than we do. Keep posting, everyone here is thinking about you!
I'm so glad the Recipe worked for you. It is hardwon knowledge not only from my 31 years of addiction, but from many other addicts as well. It's about time we started helping each other. I'm not Bill W. by a long shot, but it's easy to see that society as a whole chooses to shame us, demonize us, stigmatize us, incarcerate many of us and profit by detoxing the rest of us. We're everyone's favorite dog to kick and no one's hero -- well, almost no one's hero ... (thanks for your kind words).
So, two weeks. That's huge! If you can, use that L-Tyrosine "bump" to get into some mild aerobic exercise. That will stimulate the release of endorphins and help you recover more quickly. That's a GOOD addiction to have!
I will take your advice as well as beleive it or not my same dr that prescribe for so many years told me to do and that is exercise to release the endorphins a chemical that vics use to release. He called it simular to what they call a Runners High...
I totally understand the whole mom thing and trying to do the right thing and survive without "mammas little helpers". It is the pits. Stay strong go to a meeting if you can find one...I prefer AA to NA (NA people I have a hard time bonding with for some reason, younger more rough feeling croud for me) but I have found wonderful help through AA which is filled with just as many addicts as alcoholics...they see it all as the same...unless you live in the boonies and they are real old timers and not hip to our generation...I have friends who live in a small town and they have the hardest time finding young people in AA. But it is a great way of life and it will give you like this forum instant new best friends who have been what we are going through and want to help...GOD does AMAZING work there!!! God Bless you all...I am going on day 8 I think...the only problem is the mental anguish
Mom of two 7 & 12...BTW I told them I take meds for my back and I am coming off them for a while to see how I do without them and that coming off them is hard stuff..and I need extra help with patience... :)
it's nice to see all the relating and compassion and love
throughout the post here today.
just wanted to wish everyone a good day.
it is really encouraging to see so much positive reality.
it really helps us all, we are all in this together.
we have so many ties that bind us together.
I wasn't going to do the meeting thing because NA is very, very difficult to attend in my area...not really around here but AA is all over(I think) so maybe I will look into that...thanks for the insight on that and also about the being a mom and having mom's little helpers but creating a life without them is what I am looking forward to doing!!! This is the first day I have actually wrote something instead of just reading and I do see a light at the end of the tunnel, dim but a light....