I just wanted to say wow you are a strong person. So all the non addictive stuff herbs black valerian root extract kava root chamomile teas and magnesium for any restless legs those help you relax and of course Tylenol for pain or if you want to get one Xanax just take it one night not more than two nights you dont want to become addicted you'll be able to get some good sleep that way you could just sleep through more of it but as we all know you cannot take Xanax more than two nights before addiction starts, kraton works for pain from methadone withdraw also, anyways keep up the good work. Your close to being over this it's in the rearview now.
I've been studying addiction for 6 years ever since my son got serious about his heroin addiction. I learned a lot about the brain and I finally realized the cure for addiction is -- Mr. Rogers. Seriously, That guy spent his life building communities, creating neighborhoods, bringing people together, getting people to feel good about themselves, and _that_ is exactly what addicts need to overcome addiction.
Like riding a horse. My son falls of 100 times, I tell him he's doing great. He's learning a lot. Now he's learned 100 ways not to ride a horse. Let's try this again. I point out his progress, I point out his strengths, I see the good in him and I reflect that back to him. I endlessly encourage him. He does the rest.
I think what helps him is our connection. He's not alone. He's part of a community, a tribe, a family, he's accepted as he is, I love him clean, I love him not clean, it doesn't matter, it's not a choice I make, the love doesn't come from me, it comes from above, through me, to him. It's always there for him.
You can do anything, in any way, as long as you have those connections with other people.
Best wishes. I admire your tenacity. (Your future self might even thank you.)
Do whatever you need to do to maintain and build those connections with other people that are meaningful for you. That's the best medicine for addiction I know of. Maintain those connections, nurture those connections, reap the gratitude and joy from those connections. That's it right there. (I call it the "Mr. Rogers" cure. He spent his life building neighborhoods and getting people to feel good about themselves. Best medicine for addiction right there.)