How stupid am I?

[Thistime]

I have been addicted to hydrocodone for 4 years, and had managed to get off them twice!!
The first time, I quit the pills, and cigarettes together at the same time, and it was O.K.
I ran, and would ride a bicycle to keep busy and I felt GREAT. BUT I missed one important aspect of the whole process, and that was that I was still hanging out with the same folks who were doing the same thing and you guessed it.....I went back to the same ole thing I was doing!!!
Again 3 months later I got off EVERYTHING again, and had this time I went for three months and felt great, actually better than before. But same people, same problem....My question is now I can't even seem to find the "will" to fight this anymore because my brain says to me, "hey we've done this before....why bother"
What to do, and has anyone done this as well?

[addictedme]

This is a simple one. 1st take gtm"s advice and get with some recovery thru na or counsling. 2nd decide which of your friends you think that theres a value in the relationship and which ones you just use with,drop the 2nd group and inform the rest of your decision to stop using and change your life. Those that dont support or that even question your desire get dropped and those that are left and willing to support you,even if that means staying away from you are your friends.

[Brrrrad]

You were just practicing before - now this time it`s for KEEP`S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You have to bail on the user`s, you never know you they may see how strong you are this time and they may want to get off the pills too.   Stay Strong

[ochooked]

Hang in there and change your friends --   you can do this - the third time is the charm.  Best to you.

[gizzy32]

GTMI is right, each relapse get toughter and tougher. i had to break ties with those that used and it was very difficult, one being my best friend. i realized it was impossible for me to be around it cause eventually i alway broke down. our addictive brains will tell us anything to get us to use, but it's all lies. i hope you decide to do this, good luck.

[GoingToMakeIt]

Oh you are not alone with that battle. Many have relapsed and each time it gets harder. You have to decide to break ties with those who use. You have to join NA & or get counseling. It is a process. dig down deep. You can do this!