How to help/deal with a loved one with a drug problem

[Leah]

I feel like I'm at the end of my rope! Having a heart condition (open heart surgery) recently, the stress of dealing with a unhappy child on drugs and knowing what to do for them,the right way to handle the situation, and not cause them more trouble is
becoming more difficult each day. Question, do I keep calm and agree with them, listen to there problems,or get angry and shout and say "you have to help yourself first"? Please give me any advice so I will do the right thing.  Thank You!

[Kerrie]

Hi Brighty,
  I wanted to ask you about your daughter. Mine is 22 also. She'll be 23 in June.
  She is addicted to Hydrocodones and Zanex. I'm sure I didn't spell that right. But she also takes percocet and midrin and fiorinol. I know I'm not spelling right but just sound them out.I worry because she takes so much at a time. I've given her all the warnings I have been given from my friends here.
   How did your daughter decide to get clean. My daughter says she wants to go to rehab but that it's embarrassing to admit you have a problem and everyone find out. She knows all the family knows she's hooked. I tell her they love her and they will be proud of her for getting help.
   I worry about my grandchildren. I take care of the 4 year old a lot. But I'm not physicaly able to take care of the baby. He weighs about 17 pounds and I don't have much strength in my arms because of surgery to remove a large cyst off my spinalcord on my  cervical spine area. But when she was here the other day she was very tired. I asked her had she took too many pills and she swore she hadn't. Then her husband called and said she didn't pick him up from work and when he got home she was so out of it she couldn't hear him banging on the door. I had the 4 year old but the baby was with her. I was so upset that I hadn't kept him too. But I can't watch her every second.
  If you have any ideas I would love to hear them. I'll keep you in my prayers.
  Now to all my friends ,thanks again for being there. I'll write you more later. I'm tired after going to hospital today for scope. Love to all and God Bless.
        Kerrie

[Angelica]

Cin, Did you have to mention robbie....LOL  My speakers are blown in my car.  I have to get them fixed, and soon.  I miss listening to the radio, it makes the drive much better. LOL
Wiz: you are so full of life, and what an inspiration you are!  You are definately a nice addition to this board.  You are very supportive.
Love YALL,
Angelica

[Wizard]

Wow! Thanks for the kudos :-) People like you and all my friends here are the ones that desrve the pat on the backs.( you ALL know who you are) I couldn't have done it without ya! The best therapy for me is coming back here daily and keeping IN TOUCH. I havent been in touch for many years.....Now i cant's touch enough! LOL
power & Magick 2 U,
God Bless us all,
luv,
Wiz

[cindi]

I too am so glad you decided to stay...we all are able to help to help each other...and you are a valuable asset to his forum...and I do know from what you have told me that you benefit from coming here also...why stop a good thing? we are all in this together...I have to go and pamper myself now,,LOL   gotta get my nails done  LOL my one luxury   besides my foot messager I got from Mother's day  LOL  ohhh  Lala talk about a treat..ain't it funny how our priorites change as we get older  LOL  it used to be I would die for a little red sports car but now a foot message and a back message is like heaven  LOL my foot messager even has tiny bubbles and little rolly thingies on the bottom and heat   now, throw in George clooney and Robbie Thomas  (angelica and Brighty can relate to each) and man   we are ready to roll baby..LOL   so  after my nails i will come home and hop on and see if we can catch up,,,,,hang in there my friend  and like always  if you need me you know where I am.....HEY ANGELICA... thanks for the important message e-mail   scary huh?  I will catch up to you alos later  Love all of you guys

[Brighty]

So glad you decided to stay !! I have been around here since April 2000 and never have stayed on a forum too long... once for maybe 5 months and that was eons ago. This forum is different.... informative and caring... people who are suffering, have suffered and those in recovery offering hope and concrete advice.. helping others detox... telling them what to expect... been there done that.. and never with arrogance...always with tolerance and compassion. I hope you realize that my daughter too is an addict... she is 22 now and clean 14 months... a milestone after 3 nightmarish years which included institutions and jail... and nearly death numerous times... so if I have to say it over and over for newcomers.. thre is HOPE and HEALING. I have followed here Thomas and his detox from a 30 year opiate addiction.... that is awesome and inspiring... and there is more revealed here. I have heard it before and now know for sure.. addicts in recovery are the light bearers of the world. It bears out over and over again, here on the board and in our personal lives. Keep reading and praying and taking the right actions.... things will change ... it takes time.. it's a process. I wish you health and peace.

Love, Brighty

[Kerrie]

Dear Angelica,Cindi,Wizard,Dianne,Leah,Brighty,and everyone ,
   I tried to recall each name because each one of you have made an impact in my life in one way or another. This week some of you have made the extra effort to write to a woman that had decided to stay off the threads. Because of your words of encouragement I have decided I do need to stay. I need your help more than you can know at times.If you guys can stay around after all you've been through, I can do it too.
    Thank you Angelica and Cindi.You probley don't know how much you've helped me.To all of you that have kept me in your prayers I thank you. I am going to need them a lot in the days ahead. I'm going through a lot of testing now and it really gets to me. Some of you may remember I have bad health and chronic pain. Angelica ,I do remember you responding when I first came here.I was taken back by all you've been through and I know your pain is a daily struggle. I appreciated you trying to help me with all your going through. Cindi,I appreciate so much your honesty with me about you and your mom. I know you understand the hard time I have saying no to my daughter but you are helping me do just that. I can find the strength through God and friends like all of you. We can help one another.That's why I came here night after night and why I keep coming back. I guess that's why I let the thing with someone else get to me so bad. But I'll try not to let that happen again.
  Please remember me this week and next week in your prayers. My doctors are all out of town and it's difficult for me to go on trips like this even though their anywhere from 30 min. to 2 hours away.
  My daughter was so out of it yesterday her husband couldn't get her awake to open the door.She says she hadn't taken too much med but I know better.If any of you have tried the herbal thing when you were getting off the drugs ,would you tell me how and what you used? I'd like to offer her this option to see if she'll try it.
  Wizard, I want to tell you how PROUD I am of you for getting off the drugs. Pat yourself on the back. You all deserve it!!!!!!
  I will close now.Sorry I write so much but you are my only way of letting it out sometimes.
   God Bless and Thank You All,
            Kerrie