How to tell yor family and friends what you are going through

[smartgirlbadecisions]

good morning everyone, happy fathers day. i just am curious if anyone would like to share there experiences with telling family and friends that 1. you have/had an addiction and 2. what steps we can take together to create a better future.....i guess im really interested in knowing how on earth did others get through it
or if you want to just tell me anything. i wish i was someone else right now. im feeling very negative and i cant shake it.
you guys are my heros

[akitagurl12]

My family wasn't very supported, partly because they all have their own stuff going on and partly I don't think they understood how bad I was getting.  I think in my parents eyes, if i was working, living on my own and not asking them for money, i must be fine.  I pretty much blew all my friends off so much while using, i lost most of them before i even had a chance to tell them.  And then the people at work....well, they all knew, some used with me. i did have a coworker encourage me, but she never was addicted to anything so it was hard for her to fully understand.  I guess the best support I got was after I stopped using and my sister told me I was so much better to be around. lol  I think it is important to tell those closest to us, but we can't get upset if they don't understand or don't act like we think they should.  I spent alot of time holding a grudge against my family because no one really acted like they cared.  Now I see that wasn't the case, they just didn't know what to do or say.

[littlebit667]

I understand your fear.  I tried to withdraw alone (live with my husband) and see my kids often.  I failed miserably twice (I think, it gets fuzzy) and finally, I told my husband (I was in the middle of withdrawals at the time) and daughter.  She knew already and was glad I told her.  My hubby had no clue, but he has his own issues.  I failed again and when I was ready told my Son and my DOCTOR!  That was the big one.  Together we got a plan together for when my back pain got out of control again and she helped me with some meds for the withdrawal.  That helped me so much.  I am over 130 days clean and I thank my family who supported me, my doctor who gave me strength and this group.  

Secrets keep us sick.  At least for me it did.  Hiding keeps us tied to our secret.  I hope you can find a way to get their support!

[Bkitty]

When I told my husband that I was an addict,,he looked at me and said "Oh I know that". You would be suprised how people can react. I found that the best way was to be totally honest. I told my husband in the beginning what I needed him to know. I didnt go into specifics. As time passed he asked questions and I felt more comfortable opening up to him. I think what made the biggest difference was that he saw me doing something about my addiction. I was enrolled in aftercare and NA and he supported me. If I didnt want to go to a meeting or was feeling down he encouraged me to go. I didnt just spring it on him either. I waited until we were relaxed and talking openly and I kinda threw it in the there. I was honest and told him what steps I was taking to correct the issue. I did not and have not told my mother. I will never tell her. I am OK with that. I do feel that to recover from this addiction it is important to tell someone/ whomever you are close to. Keeping secrets is what keeps us sick and you need to be held accountable for your actions. If you dont tell anyone then you cant be held accountable. Id quit many many times before and never told anyone. This time I did and it changed a lot of things. It also took a huge weight off of my shoulders. My secret wasnt a secret anymore. I think if you are honest and tell them what you are doing/steps you are taking everything should be OK. They may initially get mad and that is normal. But they have to see that you are serious and working the program. I wish you all the best! Keep us posted! ~Bkitty