You're asking the million dollar question and unfortunately there's no simple answer. What I have noticed is that almost everyone that I see on here who has significant clean time swears by aftercare. Aftercare means meetings or counseling or any combination or form of the same. You have to really work your sobriety. There are AA and or NA meetings in just about every town and at many different times and locations. Everyone has to take their own path but if you've tried doing it your own way without attending regular aftercare and aren't succeeding you may need to rethink things.
Bonny, Danny above pretty much said it. If any of us could have any control over our using, there would be no addicts. We would just be able to think our way out of it. Doesn't work that way, sadly. As I'm sure you know by now, we are completely and utterly powerless against drugs. I resisted going to AA/NA for so long but that was the magic bullet. Like Danny said, everyone that I know who has significant clean time works a program. Your way obviously isn't working for you. Good luck and keep posting.
Hi and thanks so much for ur response. I guess ur right it is a million dollar question really, I suppose I feel I need some sort of miracle, I guess I just have to really try and not think about gear all the time I just want to feel ok to move on from this relapse. I hate the thoughts and feelings which u feel in the days after having heroin. It's just hard.