I think he is lying about this. Are you going to any type of aftercare?
I'm so sorry, sweetheart. But chances are pretty good that your husband is lying through his teeth.
All addicts learn to lie very early on in their addiction. Those who have a long history of it, or those who are a little brighter than the others, learn the best way to do it.
That is, when telling a lie the best shot you have at being believed is to mix the lie in with a little truth. So, yes he DID do coke, but Hell, NO(!) he didn't do any dope. Yeah, right.
I've been there too many times over too many years to not recognize BS like that. Think about it logically. To get the coke he'd have to meet with some of his old connections. They are most likely the same people who he gets his dope from. And, of the two drugs, heroin is the one that makes you more physically sick. So, if he were to relapse, it would probably be with dope.
I'd also ask myself why he was willing to admit to cocaine but not heroin. That tells me he feels, or he KNOWS, that you're more averse to him using the dope. If I'm right, and using heroin would make you more concerned than him using cocaine, then that's all the more reason to suspect he's not being very honest and upfront with you. And, if he truly loves you, and since you're still together after all this time I'm sure he does, he'd want to hurt you the least amount possible.
He doesn't WANT to hurt you at all.
But drugs are a frightening thing. They can and will overpower the mind's ability to do what's necessary here. And that would be to say no to using the drug. He knows it would hurt you but his mind and body are already heating up the drug with his cigarette lighter, even before he realizes what's happening.
Sometimes I think those meetings where all the ex users get together are detrimental, especially in the early part of staying clean. It only takes one word, or a certain look, between two ex users and, wham, before anyone knows it, they're knocking on the dealer's door.
Try to be as supportive as you've been in the past. Have a sit down with him, and him alone. Don't condemn. Simply explain that you're concerned because you know he's been falling off a little here and there and you think it might help both of you and your family if he went to an inpatient treatment facility. Tell him that you love him and are there for him--and I know it's going to be really hard at that moment, but bite your tongue hard if you have to.
Then explain all the good things that will happen, and have happened in the past, when he's clean again. Don't force him to answer right away if he's not forthcoming with it. I don't know him, obviously. Many people in his place will automatically deny, deny, deny. If he's like that, let him think about it for a day or so, let it sink in.
The fact that he's gone through this more than once before, tells me he's motivated, probably because of you and the family. That's a great thing and he's a lucky guy. Unless he's a total moron, he knows it too. In the meantime, get online and look up and call treatment facilities in your area, or even some place away from home. You decide which you think is best. Work out your speech too. Practice makes perfect and it helps to think about what he might possibly say or do and how to handle it in advance.
Good luck to you honey. You both are going through some rough times and I feel for you. You must be something special to deal with that for so long. He must be too or you wouldn't be there. Think happy thoughts. Try to anyway.