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Husband reacons roll up in pocket is 10 years old!! Positive for heroin
I've been on here a long time asking advice for husband's now 10 year addiction to heroin and now cocaine. He has relapsed 5 times.
He's been back in rehab since last September he's taking 10mg subatex a day..or should be.
His behaviour been weird again last 2 weeks.
Found tubes foil roll up
Tested them and it was positive for cocaine and heroin.
He said he hasn't done heroin the roll up had been in that jacket from like 8 years ago when he last wore it.
Is that even possible?
A roll up 8 yrs plus old would be in decent condition and still test positive for heroin??
He assures me it's cocaine which I'm still not happy with as he's in rehab.
Just needing to know if I'm wrong this time?
He's been back in rehab since last September he's taking 10mg subatex a day..or should be.
His behaviour been weird again last 2 weeks.
Found tubes foil roll up
Tested them and it was positive for cocaine and heroin.
He said he hasn't done heroin the roll up had been in that jacket from like 8 years ago when he last wore it.
Is that even possible?
A roll up 8 yrs plus old would be in decent condition and still test positive for heroin??
He assures me it's cocaine which I'm still not happy with as he's in rehab.
Just needing to know if I'm wrong this time?
I'm so sorry, sweetheart. But chances are pretty good that your husband is lying through his teeth.
All addicts learn to lie very early on in their addiction. Those who have a long history of it, or those who are a little brighter than the others, learn the best way to do it.
That is, when telling a lie the best shot you have at being believed is to mix the lie in with a little truth. So, yes he DID do coke, but Hell, NO(!) he didn't do any dope. Yeah, right.
I've been there too many times over too many years to not recognize BS like that. Think about it logically. To get the coke he'd have to meet with some of his old connections. They are most likely the same people who he gets his dope from. And, of the two drugs, heroin is the one that makes you more physically sick. So, if he were to relapse, it would probably be with dope.
I'd also ask myself why he was willing to admit to cocaine but not heroin. That tells me he feels, or he KNOWS, that you're more averse to him using the dope. If I'm right, and using heroin would make you more concerned than him using cocaine, then that's all the more reason to suspect he's not being very honest and upfront with you. And, if he truly loves you, and since you're still together after all this time I'm sure he does, he'd want to hurt you the least amount possible.
He doesn't WANT to hurt you at all.
But drugs are a frightening thing. They can and will overpower the mind's ability to do what's necessary here. And that would be to say no to using the drug. He knows it would hurt you but his mind and body are already heating up the drug with his cigarette lighter, even before he realizes what's happening.
Sometimes I think those meetings where all the ex users get together are detrimental, especially in the early part of staying clean. It only takes one word, or a certain look, between two ex users and, wham, before anyone knows it, they're knocking on the dealer's door.
Try to be as supportive as you've been in the past. Have a sit down with him, and him alone. Don't condemn. Simply explain that you're concerned because you know he's been falling off a little here and there and you think it might help both of you and your family if he went to an inpatient treatment facility. Tell him that you love him and are there for him--and I know it's going to be really hard at that moment, but bite your tongue hard if you have to.
Then explain all the good things that will happen, and have happened in the past, when he's clean again. Don't force him to answer right away if he's not forthcoming with it. I don't know him, obviously. Many people in his place will automatically deny, deny, deny. If he's like that, let him think about it for a day or so, let it sink in.
The fact that he's gone through this more than once before, tells me he's motivated, probably because of you and the family. That's a great thing and he's a lucky guy. Unless he's a total moron, he knows it too. In the meantime, get online and look up and call treatment facilities in your area, or even some place away from home. You decide which you think is best. Work out your speech too. Practice makes perfect and it helps to think about what he might possibly say or do and how to handle it in advance.
Good luck to you honey. You both are going through some rough times and I feel for you. You must be something special to deal with that for so long. He must be too or you wouldn't be there. Think happy thoughts. Try to anyway.
All addicts learn to lie very early on in their addiction. Those who have a long history of it, or those who are a little brighter than the others, learn the best way to do it.
That is, when telling a lie the best shot you have at being believed is to mix the lie in with a little truth. So, yes he DID do coke, but Hell, NO(!) he didn't do any dope. Yeah, right.
I've been there too many times over too many years to not recognize BS like that. Think about it logically. To get the coke he'd have to meet with some of his old connections. They are most likely the same people who he gets his dope from. And, of the two drugs, heroin is the one that makes you more physically sick. So, if he were to relapse, it would probably be with dope.
I'd also ask myself why he was willing to admit to cocaine but not heroin. That tells me he feels, or he KNOWS, that you're more averse to him using the dope. If I'm right, and using heroin would make you more concerned than him using cocaine, then that's all the more reason to suspect he's not being very honest and upfront with you. And, if he truly loves you, and since you're still together after all this time I'm sure he does, he'd want to hurt you the least amount possible.
He doesn't WANT to hurt you at all.
But drugs are a frightening thing. They can and will overpower the mind's ability to do what's necessary here. And that would be to say no to using the drug. He knows it would hurt you but his mind and body are already heating up the drug with his cigarette lighter, even before he realizes what's happening.
Sometimes I think those meetings where all the ex users get together are detrimental, especially in the early part of staying clean. It only takes one word, or a certain look, between two ex users and, wham, before anyone knows it, they're knocking on the dealer's door.
Try to be as supportive as you've been in the past. Have a sit down with him, and him alone. Don't condemn. Simply explain that you're concerned because you know he's been falling off a little here and there and you think it might help both of you and your family if he went to an inpatient treatment facility. Tell him that you love him and are there for him--and I know it's going to be really hard at that moment, but bite your tongue hard if you have to.
Then explain all the good things that will happen, and have happened in the past, when he's clean again. Don't force him to answer right away if he's not forthcoming with it. I don't know him, obviously. Many people in his place will automatically deny, deny, deny. If he's like that, let him think about it for a day or so, let it sink in.
The fact that he's gone through this more than once before, tells me he's motivated, probably because of you and the family. That's a great thing and he's a lucky guy. Unless he's a total moron, he knows it too. In the meantime, get online and look up and call treatment facilities in your area, or even some place away from home. You decide which you think is best. Work out your speech too. Practice makes perfect and it helps to think about what he might possibly say or do and how to handle it in advance.
Good luck to you honey. You both are going through some rough times and I feel for you. You must be something special to deal with that for so long. He must be too or you wouldn't be there. Think happy thoughts. Try to anyway.
1 Comments
Thank you for your reply.
Unfortunately he walked away and went to stay at his moms.
His mom was worried about his behaviour aswell so kept some roll ups he'd left in the ashtray.
Well it was what we thought. Positive for heroin and cocaine.
Still think I'm abit niave but he said he's taking his 10mg subatex everyday. I think he's playing a dangerous game mixing cocaine and heroin in the same smoke. But surely he shouldnt even be feeling the heroin if he's taking his medication. His mom assured me she watched him take his subatex this morning.
Its got to the stage i can't have him here anymore for my own sake. It's killing me. I said I love him and will support him but the kids can't see his erratic behaviour anymore.
If you could answer any of my questions I'd be grateful. He's decided to play silly buggers and won't tell me anything. He just says I'm sorting it.
Thank you xx
Unfortunately he walked away and went to stay at his moms.
His mom was worried about his behaviour aswell so kept some roll ups he'd left in the ashtray.
Well it was what we thought. Positive for heroin and cocaine.
Still think I'm abit niave but he said he's taking his 10mg subatex everyday. I think he's playing a dangerous game mixing cocaine and heroin in the same smoke. But surely he shouldnt even be feeling the heroin if he's taking his medication. His mom assured me she watched him take his subatex this morning.
Its got to the stage i can't have him here anymore for my own sake. It's killing me. I said I love him and will support him but the kids can't see his erratic behaviour anymore.
If you could answer any of my questions I'd be grateful. He's decided to play silly buggers and won't tell me anything. He just says I'm sorting it.
Thank you xx
COMMUNITY LEADER
I think he is lying about this. Are you going to any type of aftercare?
3 Comments
He goes to rehab once a month to get his prescription for subatex.
He said he'd told them he relapsed on cocaine but not heroin.
He is swearing he hasn't touched it. But he's messed around with heroin when he had his meds before. Having a few days on h waiting for withdrawal then back to subs to pass his pee test.
And this roll up Tested positive for h.
Can find information if after the time frame he's mentioned it would show a positive. But it didn't look 10 years old that's for sure.
He said he'd told them he relapsed on cocaine but not heroin.
He is swearing he hasn't touched it. But he's messed around with heroin when he had his meds before. Having a few days on h waiting for withdrawal then back to subs to pass his pee test.
And this roll up Tested positive for h.
Can find information if after the time frame he's mentioned it would show a positive. But it didn't look 10 years old that's for sure.
Girl, go to Alanon asap.
What's alanon. Sorry in UK.
Since post he's moved back to his moms. He's pretty much said he can't do sober it's got him and his best dreams are of dying so he no longer is going through this craving for heroin.
I don't know how to help him anymore and can't have him round the kids. They have no idea.
But after 10 years of this and 6 relapses they will start to notice dads erratic behaviour.
Since post he's moved back to his moms. He's pretty much said he can't do sober it's got him and his best dreams are of dying so he no longer is going through this craving for heroin.
I don't know how to help him anymore and can't have him round the kids. They have no idea.
But after 10 years of this and 6 relapses they will start to notice dads erratic behaviour.
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