Hydro Withdrawal, Need Input :)

[Stacy79]

Hi everyone!  I am new here, and I am trying to quit Hydrocodone for the second time now.  I have been reading all of these posts for guidance, but I feel like my situation is different in some ways.  Let me start from the beginning.  I was an everyday pot smoker for years, however I never thought it was addictive.  I had stopped using it many times, for various lengths of time, and have been completely fine.  Then, one day three years ago, I quit in order to get in shape for a summer of teaching at a tennis camp, and then leaving for grad school in Florida.  Then very next morning, I woke up feeling like I was having a heart attack.  I couldn't catch my breath, my heart was racing, and I felt like I was dying.  There were a few trips to the emergency room, where all tests were fine, and a few months of anxiety medications.  Long story short: I finally got to the point where I wasn't having panic attacks anymore.  What I was left with was this constant anxious, unsettling feeling, like I had to concentrate on breathing.  I have never been an anxious person, and I had absolutely nothing to be anxious about.  Still I was put on Xanax, then Zoloft, then Lexapro.  Nothing completely took it away.  Then, about a year ago, I found Vicodin.  I had a tooth removed, and when I took that first pill, it was like a miracle drug.  It took my anxiety away, I could breathe normally for the first time, I had energy... I just felt "normal again."  This is why I became addicted to it.  With the help of my roomate, I have realized that what I was feeling before was probably also related to drug use; That my body wasn't ready to live life sober, and it freaked out.  Instead of having the past three years to heal from that, I am now starting all over again, because I've replaced weed with Vicodin.  Now I am beginning the withdrawal process, and I can't differentiate what is withdrawal and what is the previous feeling I had (meaning my original "anxiety")  I hate this.  I know that withdrawal is SUPPOSED to suck, but I'm just really, really, really scared that for me, when I'm through the few weeks of withdrawal, that I am still going to feel this way because of the way I felt before.  I hope I explained all of this good enough.  I am just really freaking out.  Before, when I couldn't make it past day 3, I went and filled another script.  Now there are no more scripts to fill, which is a very good thing.  I WANT to beat this, and I want so badly to feel normal again.  Thanks for listening.

Stacy

[kyjobr]

try suboxone.  It eliminates w/d's and helps with anxiety.  Check out the info in my profile.  Sorry I'd write more but I'm at work.  Good luck!