I'm feeling better everyday and the withdrawals aren't nearly as bad. I want to thank everyone for the support which was so vital in the first five days of this experience. Oh my gosh to anyone who tries to stop taking medication on their own this forum is simply priceless.
I hope everyone is feeling well and happy. I sure have been praying for you! God bless and remember that there really is happier, healthier and precious moments ahead of you.
Possibly a problem but I know some really extroverted people who have issues with drugs (especially when I was younger and they would start using recreational drugs and I would lose them to the "lifestyle") - so, I think it's pretty much anyone. If you would have told me a year ago I would be addicted to anything I would have laughed at you since I'm very stubborn. I just think it can take hold of any type of personality. I'm not shy and believe me we all have self esteem issues at one point or another - I have a girlfriend who is absolutely beautiful and some of the things she complains about herself makes me think she's crazy.
Today is better for me. I only took half a pill and still think about it constantly but I'm thinking it's going to be like a broken heart....it will take time to stop thinking about? Same with the suicidal thoughts which I will admit writing about helps a whole lot. Just being able to express yourself is helpfull.
How is your day going today? I hope you are feeling well and appreciate, more then anyone on this forum will ever know, the support. I wish we all lived near eachother so we could meet at a local church or something just to share our stories with others who relate - how cool would that feel? Anyway self esteem is mostly in the mind I believe. Attitude can make or break a person, lol.
Oh another thing I've been doing that's helping a little is watching Joel Osteen and Joyce Meyers ministries which help me to gain perspective on things a little. I also have been taking a lot of SAMe and black cohosh and other vitamins that were recommended and I think it's helping - even if it's a placebo effect I'll take what I can. What do you do to make the day go by better? What are your self help techniques?
I'm the type of person that holds everything in too. I have self esteem issues. Shy. Find it hard to share my feelings and open up to people. That kind of stuff. I had seen several people say the same kind of thing on here and wondered also if that is the kind of person that the pills hit.
Thanks for the support and I'm doing better today so far - I may take half a pill and then go to the gym. I sent you a reply not long ago too. I may try AA even though I rarely drink I may relate with their take on things better...I also share the problem of expressing emotions in front of others so I totally relate with you there. I think that may be one of our issues (holding it all in instead of allowing ourselves to be vulnerable). I think it's distrust after trusting the wrong people that causes us to be that way? I'm not a psychologist but it's not rocket science either...right? lol
One good thing is my work schedule allows me a lot of freedom right now so, I'm not having to deal with a lot of responsibilities that I could be totally screwing up right now even though my memory was starting to become affected by the meds I was able to focus unlike right now - I have the attention span of a gerbil.
How is your day going? I sure hope well. Let me know and thanks for thinking of me.
i sent that to quick!! lol ....... NA wasnt for me but i find that coming to forums like this one does wonders, i find it hard to express my feelings and addictions to those around me that i know on a personal basis. We are all here for you
Hi How are you doing today? I been thinking about you!
I think suicide has crossed the mind of every serious addict at one point or another, but to continuely think about it is something to really consider getting help with. I just can completely relate to the lost feeling of having no way out, but there is a way and although it will require some uncomfortable moments and patience, it is much better than giving your life away. All of us are valuable and have something to offer this world, I hope you can realize that and get some help. I will be rooting for you.
Thanks for taking time to do that. I will do exactly what you've suggested and I'm hopeful more tonight then I was this morning. I only took 1/2 a hydrocodone today 1/2 yesterday so obviously my brain is constantly thinking about the other pills. I just need to get past this addiction part. I don't think addiction is a natural part of my personality or, it wasn't before this phase. Anyway, thank you very much for registering and replying to my posting. Your advice is well received and I will use it.
I think an NA meeting would be very beneficial to you. What do you mean you are afraid for someone to see you? In the rare case you do, then they have the same problem as you and are no better or no worse than you, right? As far as 'protocol' regarding NA meetings, if its a decent meeting then you will be welcomed with open arms with people who have experienced what you are going through, and chances are they have been there and beyond. A 12 step meeting is a very, very good place to find moral support to get through your problems, not just relating to drug use. Find a meeting in your area and walk in there with an open mind, no expectations, no judgements, and talk about whats on your mind and dont hold anything back. What happens in there, stays in there.
Theres a reason its Narcotics ANONYMOUS, its not a huge public event, its where you go to remain anonymous and get help with your problem. Best of luck to you, I literally just now registered on this website for the sole purpose to post this information for you to read, I hope you will take my advice. You got nothing to lose.
Well thanks for the support and yes I'm aware of the law regarding medical records but, from experience, have learned NEVER rely on the law to protect your rights - hate to be cynical but I've seen it work completely opposite of what common sense (not to mention law) should allow. So, I let very few people into my "real" world - I'm thinking about going to an NA meeting but afraid I will see someone who knows me (pathetic). Maybe if I go a little distance from my home town - and I'm not sure if it's for me or what the protocol is regarding NA meetings.
Anyway, I appreciate the support and blessing and advice. Thank You. And I do pray, pray and pray again....life does happen in between our plans - Lennon had a realistic, grounded theory and must have experienced a few hard knocks himself. This is one of those situations, for me, that validates the saying "never say never" - boy you just don't see some things coming at you until it's too late.
God Bless ...
i know what you mean. When i go thru withdrawl i have suicidal addeations too. Its hard! Right now they have meon 120 mgs of prozac and 10 mgs of abilify! Im here if you wanna talk i know whatyour going thru . Best of luck!
I too am in a profession that frown upon drug use and the problems that arise from it but your privicy is protected by the HIPPA regulations and doctors CANNOT reveal your medical records to anyone you don't want to have them seen by. As all have told you here I would speak to your doctor(s) and explain your situation and what you are feeling. You will be surprised on how much help you will receive when you ask. I hope you will talk to someone about your problem(s) you are worth it. I will pray that God gives you guidance to make the right choice. God Bless you and keep posting and let everyone know how you are doing.
Thanks but due to my profession will NOT inform doctor of this - it can not be on my medical records that I'm thinking like this so I'm trying to deal with it alone. But, I appreciate the advice.
Please talk with your doctor ASAP about these feelings you are having and tell him exactly what you are taking and how much. They will be able to help you~~~sara
If you are considering suicide you NEED to speak with your doctor immediately. He/she can help you but you will need to get honest about all of the meds you are taking.
I wish you the best.