I COMPLETLY ****** UP!!

[Beaten]

hey everyone....its been a couple of days thats becaus 2 days ago i completly fell off the wagon. I was doing so well. i dont know why i would do that to myself after all the pain i went through. I still cant believe it. I'm so dissapointed in myself. The person i used to buy them from came right to my door with 3 oxy 40 mgs. I diddn't even have to move. and i didn't move for like the whole wkd. just sat in my apartment stoned. I'm sick of this life i hate it. i dont wwnt sympathy but how do u pick urself up and start all over. I feel like i ruined everything!!

[GoingToMakeIt]

Ahh Shel, we are here for you. These things are so much bigger than us. You are an important person, I was getting worried not hearing from you. It is good to see you posting again.

[m_i_strongenuf]

I agree with spooked, deaming yourself "beaten" can have a huge psychological affect on how you're viewing yourself. Try a more positive approach, like everyone here has said we've all had those moments of relapse, but as long as we come back and try again...we aren't beaten yet!!

I myself have recently (over holidays- kids weren't here) fallen off the proverbial wagon (not oxy, but tramadol) and am just now getting back here to the forum for support from my friends. I have neglected their emails while I was "high", too embarrassed to tell them, but that was completly backwards, I should have come back sooner! the only thing that matters now is that I am back here and ready to go again!

i wish you all the courage it will take to pick yourself up and start again. Email me if you ever want to chat, we're all here to help each other and you are one of us now! :)

Feel a Hug
~shel~

[oxyaddict420]

If I were you, I would just create a free yahoo or hotmail account for this website personall and dedicated for this reason ONLY!  It is free easy and fast!  This way you can start over with  NEW NAME- NEW ATTITUDE- AND JUST IN YOUR FIRST POST REMIND US WHO YOU ARE!!!  You dont want to be known as beaten when we have all relapsed a million times combines right?  

YOU CAN BEAT THIS..

YOU WILL BEAT THIS

YOU ARE BETTER THAN THESE PILLS

I HAVE FAITH IN YOU

WE ARE HERE FOR YOU

[Beaten]

Thanks again everyone. I haven't been posting much becus i lost my internet connection at home. i was clean for 4 days but then messed up. yesturday i started going through the withdrawls again. I guess all i can do is start over again. .

p.s does anyone know how to i can change my name...lol

[taekwondo_fighter]

we're all human here and we all mess up.... it happens..  get back up and keep going

[avisg]

PLZ dont beat yourself up ,  Brush yourself  off get back up and start again ,its not going to be easy but you can do it .you ARE worth it
avis

[BlotOutTheSun]

ive quit several times b4 i finally could say no to pills, it was hard, everytime id quit someone would either try to give me some for free or someone would have a great deal, so i relapsed several times, but im on day 10 now, ive turned down free pills 4 times, i think that is the most difficult part, just keep trying eventually youll reach your goal, just might take some time, learn to say no its very f*cking hard but you got to do it, good luck

[newhope61]

Don't beat yourself up too bad, think most of us have been there done that
just never quit quitting
how much clean time did you have?

[Spooked]

First off, change your name if you can!! Second, from what I have read relapse is a part of most recoveries...you just have to come back more determined. You are only beaten if you quit!!! Good luck.

[liscamdave]

Just to answer your question, a 40mg Oxy here, is $20.00....I am in Philly, PA

[liscamdave]

Well, all you can do it try again. Right?? I can't begin to tell you how many times I would detox and be in w./d, BAD w.d, for 4 or 5 days, then see my dealer and buy an Oxy. Talking myslef into it, rationalizing with myself, thinking that I have dried out for a hew days and the w.d is over now and my tolerance has dropped and I would ALWYS cave in and buy some. I must have done that at least 100 times, literally. It happens, and you just have to have the will to try again. If its there, you will be ok. So you have a few attempts...as long as you finish what you have started eventually, it will be ok...Good luck...

Lisa

[oxyaddict420]

How long were you clean?  Because honestly i have gotten clean for about few weeks or so then relapsed with a few pills like that, sometimes even more.. As long as I dont take them for more than like 2 days in a row i am usually no withdrawls!! Are you going through w/d right now over the 3 40's?  By the way what did it cost you finacially for the 3 40's? just curious..