I wanted to check in with everyone and say hi and tell you guys what a great day I am having so far. I feel like I've gotten so much done. I did the laundry. Not a big deal right, I know, but considering I hadn't touched it in almost 2 weeks it was a pretty damn big deal I thought haha.
My whatever the hell he is is currently trying to get a new business up and running and called me needing some help with getting a DOT number for his company. Even though last night he had me so torn up that I was tempted to break weak I decided to help him out. I got it done for him and had a great feeling of success. It was nice :)
The thing I did though that I am the proudest of of all is I reached out to one of my old sober friends. He was my talk every single day bestbest bestie for years. I distanced myself from him as I got further down. He's a loyal good friend though because he answered right away and we talked for a while just about this and that. He didn't ask any questions. He knows I'll talk when I do. I'm so glad I called him and so thankful to have such a friend.
I had a little mood swing flip out a few minutes ago on my daughter and I feel not so good about that. She's been staying with a friend and stopped by because she needed some money. I was telling her about getting the DOT number thing done, being so proud of myself and all. While I was telling her she was standing there rolling her eyes and it just ran ALL OVER ME! I told her in my best sailor language that she was being rude and to just go on. She's a teenager and that's how they are so I should have kept my cool and I'm NOT AT ALL proud of myself for how I handled that.
Other than that it's been a good day though...not one craving, not one temptation, not one wd symptom. Thank all you guys so much for being here for me. This board has been a gift these last few days.
I didn't. I wanted to bad but I didn't. I stayed strong and I'm proud of me.
He is currently clean, yes. He is several days ahead of me and we have been off and on for 2 years.
Using isn't an option, it won't change your reality hon. You have to get used to FEELING again, the good AND the bad. Can you go to a meeting?
Is he clean? How long has he been in the picture?
I just had a really painful conversation. My man told me that even though he is trying to be my friend through this that he has absolutely no intention of ever being in a couple type relationship anymore. I was under the impression that we were just staying away from each other for a while to get our sh*t together and then try to work our way back to a sober life together. I want so bad to get high right now. I am totally, completely, crazy in love with this man and can't imagine not having him in my life.