I am an addict

[KristiBelle]

I only just admitted this to myself like Tuesday a week ago. I LOVE 30's. I'm almost 38 and been around drugs all my adult life and never got hooked on **** til these damn 30's. I got so much **** going on I don't even know what to say or what not to. I haven't done one since Friday, so I guess I'm 4 days in. I'm really not even trying to count. I haven't even been on them all that long but I must have the tolerance of an elephant or some **** because I just want more and more and more. I would guess around the holiday's last year was when I really got going. I've been a casual user of everything forever but these are a *****! I never thought I would be such a mess. I guess I'm kinda addicted to a guy, too. He finally left last weekend. Maybe at least he was smart enough to know we had to get away from each other because all we do anymore is get high...or try to get high, mostly just not be sick. I know I'm rambling but I'm a freakin mess and I don't have anyone to talk to and haven't slept for **** in days. I saw my guy today. He's doing good. He's a few days ahead of me. Really seeing him just made me want to get high. I don't really feel too bad physically, my stomach is kind of a mess but my nerves are a wreck! I hate everyone but I hate being by myself. I don't know where to go except sit in the house by myself because I don't trust myself not to get out and chase down a pill. **** a pill. I'm tired of this ****.  

[dominosarah]

Get rid of the pot.  Having it there will only mess with your head.

[toothfairie]

go for it girl!! lol that'd be better than what i'm doing...just work...you are doing great....just keep that positive attitude and it will take you all the way....and I agree with Vic....try and stay away from any mind altering stuff  :)  

[KristiBelle]

I'm so glad I did too and I'm gonna do it again tomorrow. Hey, maybe I'll make it 2 laps around the circle tomorrow :)

[KristiBelle]

I plan to. I hadn't been smoking either but I slipped today. I'm not gonna beat myself up over it I'm just glad it wasn't a pill (or 5) up my nose. Tomorrow is a new day and I hope it was better than today. Thanks for being here for me. This board has been my miracle since last evening.

[KristiBelle]

I don't want to encourage you to do any other drugs. I am trying to quit smoking too. I just slipped today but tomoro is another day and it will be better. I think its good you got rid of the last of them. No need in tempting yourself. I know I couldn't handle seeing them right now. I'd do them as sure as I'm sitting here. Good luck and we can do it!

[VICourageous]

Hi Kristi, I do think you are really doing very well right now..BUT try to back off and quit the "Pot" because it is a Mind Altering drug and right now you need those Neurotransmitter/Receptors to balance back. This is a big reason why it takes awhile to balance back is because of what has happen to the Brain. The emotional/biochemical have to readjust after the removal of the stimulation,etc. Keep up the Good work you will love your new Life.
Bless