Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
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7733408 tn?1393752530

I am just starting!! HELP!!

I have been on 60mg of morphine three times a day and a mixture of opana, dilaudid, and oxycontin, those three to be taken as needed throughout the day.  I have been under the care of a doctor this entire time and all medication has been prescribed to me.  But now after almost 4 years the amounts I have to take for any relief are outrageous.  I now am at the point that I feel the pain medication is harming me and causing me much more pain than the pain I started out with.  So I have decided to stop them all together, they are most definitely not for me.  I can't sleep and I am moody and paranoid all the time.  I will feel like my fiance is being mean to me when he is not or I will say to him that he does not love me and I know that I am making his life miserable.  How can I help him to understand what I am going through and not run him off during my detox?  I really need his help and encouragement and I love him with all my heart.  I have since gone to a psychiatrist because I have suffered from depression all of my life and have been on antidepressants my whole life.  I told him about the pain medication that I take each day and he told me that he could help me detox from my pain meds with Suboxone.  So starting this week on March the 6th I will be going off of the pain medication completely and taking the Suboxone to hopefully help me.  I am scared to death.  I have never taken any drugs ever in my life and thought that since these were prescribed by a doctor that I would somehow be fine.  Well, I am NOT.  I don't like what they do to me and worse what they do to me if I don't take them constantly.  The mental part I am most worried about as like I said before I have Major Depressive Disorder, Anxiety Disorder and Posttraumatic Stress Disorder that have never gone away.  The Major Depressive Disorder is genetic as it goes all the way down my family line.  My father committed suicide 3 years ago and my sister is mentally ill as well.  So I realize that I will have to stay on my mental meds, but I am so worried how coming off of the pain medication is going to affect me mentally.  Can anyone relate to this problem and share any information with me???  I am just so scared to death and I haven't even started yet.  Please someone give me some insight as to what I am in for.  Depression in itself is a horrible thing.  It is a black hole that I feel I will never get out of.  I need some advice, information, words of experience/wisdom to help me understand what I am in for and how long am I going to feel like I am dieing and have no life.  And don't forget, I also want to help my fiance to understand my behavior and give him some good advice on how to handle me when I get in those states of mind where I say and do things that I later regret so much.  When I am going through the pain and agitation it is all so hard to bear and I feel like he just doesn't care.  But I know that he does it's just that he has no clue as to what to do or say to me to help me and I don't know how he can help me either.  How can he be of help to me?  How can he understand and have empathy for something that he knows nothing about and has never felt or experienced himself?  Someone please help me.  My email address is:  ***@****   I could really use some good advice, information and help.  Thank you so very much!  
6 Responses
7733408 tn?1393752530
I see they blocked out my email address.  I guess that is against the rules.  Sorry about that.  I am just so desperate for help, advice,information and someone to talk to who knows what I am in for and can talk to me about it.  Please....and thank you so much!!!
7689249 tn?1408018598
thats great you wanna get off your pain meds its a long road as i am just beginning myself tho i didn't get them from my doc and I'm also trying to get off suboxone that is very hard to detox off of some other people might suggest to go cold turkey the people on here have much more experience and insight than me i am brand new you are in the right place you will receive lots of great advice i hate to hear that you are going on suboxone its awful stuff its lifesaving in some situations but its a beast within itself can i ask how you will manage the pain you are having once off the pain meds?? and are you on meds for your depression and anxiety and your psd? i hope those are being managed also google withdrawal symptoms and share the info with your fiancé you will need all the support you can get good luck!!!
Avatar universal
hi...i am on day 5 of my detox, but i am going cold turkey. But this isnt my first rodeo of detox lol, ive done it over and over. but this time im really ready to be done. its really great you want to get off your meds and claim your life. i wouldnt worry too much, you will have very minimal pain and such detoxing with subs.
1235186 tn?1549257619
Hello and welcome. Do you feel you are dependent on the medication or addicted?
Do you run out of your scripts early? Have you ever bought them from the street? Stolen for them, lied to loved ones about not being on them?

I think suboxone should only be used if you are addicted. They are themselves an opiate with a blocker so you can't also take more pills to  get high with.
Does he plan on you staying on the suboxone?

I would suggest a slow, long taper of the meds you are on.
It can be done , if you aren't addicted and will take as prescribed and stick to your taper that is much easier on your mind and body.

And yes your body does ha e more pain the longer you are on the opiates. It is called opiates induced pain- hyperalgesia. As you take the meds your brain makes more pain receptors for the meds to fill.

You will find a true barametor of your pain once you are off all meds for a couple of months.

Keep the faith,
Sending hope, encouragment and prayers,
Avatar universal
I too think tapering your current meds would be best to try first. I am an advocate of Suboxone for heavy use of stronger opioids, after all other ways have been tried. Suboxone is not only an opioid, but a stronger one than any med you are taking. The reason other opiates don't work on subs is because buprenorphine is the second strongest opiate known to man. I'd get of the oxymorphone OxyContin and dilaudid first. Morphine is fast acting and natural, so it will detox feast and is not as strong as the others. My concern for you with subs is, the most common complaints of Suboxone detox are anxiety, depression, and insomnia. Subs take much longer to detox off than most opiates too, so your clinical depression is a concern for me. Some doctors are really good at prescribing subs, meaning they wouldn't keep a person on it for years from morphine dependence, but many get stuck on it. Subs saved my life, but after taking them and detoxing from them, I am glad they were my last resort or I don't know I would have ever quit them.

Let us know what you decide. It the mean time, what worked good for me were a good vitamin, amino acid shakes, cal/mag/zinc, EmergenC. Drink tons of water and eat real healthy, fresh veggies and whole grains. Avoid caffeine, red meat, processed foods, corn syrup and sodas, anything that has a small toxic effect is amplified in detox and can slow the process down. Keep walking, swimming, whatever exercise you can do. I had to push through the hyper anelgesia for a while, but also had to start doing alternative pain and fitness activities. You will feel much better off opiates. All your feelings will come back too.

Addiction is officially a medical term, not a psychological disorder. You were not made aware of prescription opiates being the most addictive and abused drugs in the world, more than cocaine, methamphetamine, and illicit heroine combined. So don't beat yourself up. Tell your partner all you learn about addiction. I will look for the video that I think explains it best. I think it's in Clean in Kansas journals, maybe it was Vicourageous, but one of my awesome friends I have here has it. Hang around and make some friends. This will all be so worth it.
Avatar universal
Hello i commented on your recent post but only read this one now. I didnt know you were on morphine or had post traumatic stress syndrome etc.
I would really seek some serious professional help to wean off these meds and make sure they didnt make your disorders etc. worse. You have a lot going on in your head at the moment and not to mention all the strong meds your on. But i really wish you the best of luck in succeess on your detox and recovery, well done !!
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