I am so happy day 5

[mommymarieme]

Hello everyone ; )
This is my first post for five days I have been reading about everyone and it helped so much knowing there are so many people who are making it through this horrible disease. I am a mother to 3 beautiful children and going thru withdrawal from percs and vics. I stopped cold turkey because I had no will power to taper down. It has been so hard the hardest part for me was being upset with myself that it took three years away from myself. My first day of withdrawal I remember crying to my husband and asking him what if I am not a good mom if I don't take because I like other moms that have taken took the percs to get all the things around the house done take of kids and work. My husband who has actually been clean 2 months said you were a better mom before you started taking and I am crying now writing that. Lol  I really needed him to say that! Everyday is getting a little better I am still having a lot of soreness and this crazy mental stuff but I know the worst part is behind me and I will keep moving forward in my recovery for my babies they deserve a mom that is not all messed up. :(  Thank you to everyone on this site you will never know how much you have helped me with all of your encouragement and words of wisdom to others!

[mommymarieme]

Thank you so much! I prayed and prayed on it and I strongly believe God gave me the strength to beat it this time. My last withdrawal lasted six days and then I made excuses on why I needed more. This time I do not want to make an excuse and I know it is going to be hard for me but I am going to take it day by day. Thank you for telling me about yourself you are definitely an amazing person. :) I have been reading you and a few other people's messages to others while I was having a hard time with the withdrawals and you are so positive to everyone. Again thank you

[mommymarieme]

Thank you very much! Yeah I have been sneezing and crying over everything! It is so weird to have real emotions again. I am still so very weak and have no appetite but today I am trying to get moving a little. I am starting to feel like I am not in a dream n e more and I am hopeful with each passing day!

[VICourageous]

Hi and Congratulations on 5 days..That is a big Step in the right direction..You are still young and have your whole life ahead of you..I started to play around with substances when I was 14. I usually got tired of it and walked away..Yep until the opiates led up to a 12 year ride on the Methadone..I too could not taper..I tried and tried and cried and cried for 10 years until I just had to c/t off of 3 meds at once.. It is not a easy walk not to run and hide..If you know what I mean!! BUT the Blessing just flow in when we give or get our Life back on track..Meetings help me alot..So you just hang tight and things will get better min by min..Day by Day..OK!

[RMSFevil]

Day 5 for me was the breakthrough day. Each morning is less of a chore and and the sky starts looking brighter. You have nearly conquered the physical portion of withdrawals. You will start noticing smells and colors that have been dulled by the meds. Keep some tissues with you. You will start sneezing soon, if you haven't already. Congratulations.

[mommymarieme]

Thank you again! I am doing this it has been very hard but I know I can do this it difficult but we can do it! How long have you been clean? Also how do you feel now? I will continue to stay on here it really helps talking to someone one else that understands. Sorry if I don't make much sense I have a million thoughts in my head while I try to write. Lol

[FourJays]

I am so glad you posted too, and you should continue to do so; there are so many people here that are willing to help and support you through this and it helps SO much; just talking to other people who know what you are going through; have been there.  And try not to stress about the house and laundry right now; you are busy working on something far more important - you; the Mom and wife.  So just take it one day at a time; the laundry and house stuff will be there (mine has never left!).  Definitely check out the meetings too; sounds like it would help you out and work for you.  You're doing this......:))

[mommymarieme]

Thank you so much for commenting I was so scared to even say how I was feeling and put myself out there. I am glad I did it was very hard. My husband quit two months ago when his God daughters mother over dosed on pills. It was a rude awakening for both of us and I wanted to quit but I had just had surgery and then I started making excuses for myself like I am just going to keep taking I will quit after I have my next surgery and then it was I will quit after my parents leave as they were visiting and know nothing about me using. Finally the day had come and I knew it was time I was out of them and ready. I know it will get better when I look at my husband he has more energy now than he ever did. I pray that I will get soon energy soon as I look around laundry is piling up and the house is not as gorgeous as I had always kept it while I had them. You know what? That's ok cuz I am doing something so special for myself and family right now. I have been really wanting to start going to meetings because I do feel all alone. I can not tell my family my sister is a recovering heroin addict  she has been clean for 8 years and my parents would be so heart broken if I told them. Again thank you for posting you made me cry someone out there that does not know me at all cared enough to take time out of their day for me! :)

[FourJays]

Hello and welcome!  Huge congrats on day 5 off of the Percocet and Vicodin - the best decision you will ever make!  I had to do it the cold turkey way also - could not taper either.  Please don't be down on yourself about it taking 3 years - it took me 15 years to finally get my **** together!  The fact is that you ARE doing it NOW and that it is the very best thing you can do for yourself (first and foremost), and for your babies and husband.  You mentioned that he is now 2 months clean as well....that is great!  Sounds like you are over the worst of the physical stuff (or should be soon).  Have the two of you talked about any kind of aftercare; counseling, group therapy, meetings or anything like that?  The physical detox and w/d stage is very challenging and you never want to have to go through it again - and you NEVER have to!  Your sobriety is something to cherish and protect forever; because there are challenges out there everywhere.  This site is a great source of support too; stay close and keep posing.  And again congratulations on your 5 days.....your future is looking brighter every minute :))