I dont know if i even WANT this now

[dedicatedtostop]

its like 5 days. been emotional disaster for 2 days... now extreme, anxiety and bathroom trips... I never should have taken the immodium in the beginning. But really I dont even know if I want this now. I am leaning Hard the other way

[dedicatedtostop]

Good choice!!!!!!!! Now listen, You CAN do this if you want it  bad enough. Easy, heck NO. I am soooooo glad you made this choice.. You dont want to get married when your not truely yourself. Start loading yourself with gatorade, get a multi-vit, there is an otc med called dramamine for nausea that works wonders. I would however Not use the immodium unless you absolutely have to, the sooner your body gets rid of that poison the sooner you will feel better. So, since you are playing the flu, have you thought about maybe calling in?
I am so glad your doing this. It will be worth every minute of it to get you where you need to be. By June, you will be a whole new person. Please stay strong, get rid of any pills you have, and FIGHT this. We are all here for you

[amarw]

Thanks to you all. It has been 16 hours since my last pill. Stomach is starting to cramp and I am getting chills. I had to work last night and I will not have a day off until Sunday. I am going to try very hard to do this!! I am getting married in late June and there is NO WAY I am getting married on these things, I could never do that to him. I am going to an AA meeting today at noon to help the psychological side of it. I know I can handle the physical and come up with the "Stomach flu" thing, it's not picking up the phone and going to the ATM that I am worried about

[0421]

Must of got the kids off to bed, I was off reading old post, It is informative but scary. so many people back after 2 years clean,I know I will  always be in pain but I hope I never come back to where I am right now. Going to go to bed and watch tv for awhile, prayers to you

[dedicatedtostop]

Hang in there, you are doing great! yes i wish I would not have taken the imodium, but hey we learn Right? NO you will not give up, and for that matter we will continue to push eachother. Your sleep will come back slowly... Deep breathing seems to help me. Keep fighting, I am right there with you

[0421]

ya think :)
I think that the poison does need to come out, or I panicked. Dag I can't hit the keys at all, hope you all  can guess the words. We just got a new laptop for Chirstmas and the keyboard is different than our outdated big one. Never could spell worth a darn but make more typo"s then anything. I didn't sleep again  last night but I am not giving up. I sure am  glad I found this forum it makes me feel like I am not alone. prayers to you

[0421]

I am  sorry I have been offline all day, I couldn't answer you. I am new at this and I only tried to tell you my side. Listen to all these people they have more ideas and experience than me. I know one thing I went and took something for my trips to batmroom land and I have been sick to my stomach and I feel  like I hit a brick wall. I told my husband in is day 6 again, he told me to not let my mind play games with me. I think he was right, I panic so easy and that sure don't help. Good luck and prayers and keep us informed.  

[ImDONENoMore]

Well said dedicatedtostop!  :)

[dedicatedtostop]

Agreed!! The last two posts have given you a great insight. There is never a better time than Now. I agree with Zuma, Do you really want to go into HOLY  MATRAMONY as an addict?! No, I dont think you do. With that said that right there should be all the motivation you need. I dont know your wedding date but I do know this. The longer you put it off the closer you will be to that date. If you start now, by the day you say your vows you will be as good as new:) We tend to think we are "normal" while taking the pills, but wow with a little bit of healing time life on the clean side is beautiful. If you really want this, and you really love your partner, enter into this marriage as "YOU", not the old, fake you, remember while we are taking the pills alot of our emotions are numb... Please think about that.
Keep posting, keep us updated and there are many wonderful people here to get you through.

[ImDONENoMore]

I do agree that it's good to get as much of this poison out of your body as possible - even if that means spending a lot of the time in the bathroom!  But I did find even after a few weeks that the stomach issues would return every so often and immodium ad was a LIFESAVER for me.  And because it's an opiate (doesn't cross the brain barrier through your blood though so don't worry) it just helped my stomach calm down.  But I think if you can handle the constant back n' forth trips to the bathroom, then do it.  Better to get everything OUT of you if you have that option.  :)

[ZumaSun]

not to post ad-naseum but I'm referring to tapering from opiates.  You never want to go CT from benzos like valium or xanax. That could be fatal. So if you are taking anything else be sure sudden withdrawal is not a problem.

[ZumaSun]

and one more thing.  Cutting down (tapering) is statistically very difficult. I could be wrong but I think most here would agree that CT is the best way.  Unless you are an extremely disciplined person, or you have somone hold on to your meds for you, tapering won't work. It becomes a mind game between you and the drug. "I took only 1 night so I can take 2 today";"I just need more for this one day and then I'll get back to my regular taper schedule". Its endless, and after your last one, WD's are still a possibility.

[dedicatedtostop]

Are you referring to me? :) life is good today isn't it?
I wouldn't take the imodium unless you absolutely have to. I took it on day 1 to avoid the bathroom wish I would not have because I think I was holding that poison in. when I finally did start going to the bathroom as odd as it seems I felt better.

Your a rockstar, thanks for getting me through yesterday, I can see clearly now.... Big hugz

[ZumaSun]

I am in my 50's and have gone through WD's from various substances on and off for too much of my life. I am on day 7 of my most recent binge with oxy and norcos for over a year. Feeling really well today. The fact is, every detox experience of mine has been different. Some worse than others but for me, most of the worst was over by the 4th day.  There are things you can't control, like how much you have been taking and for how long, and things you can, like when you decide to quit, your environment, what you do, and, hopefully, your outlook.  If I were you, my biggest fear would be getting married while still addicted. You will regret it for the rest of your life, because you won't be emotionally or spiritually in touch with your life partner.  Blame it on the flu, see if you can get 4 days off, do anything but do it as soon as you can. You can make it. Google the Thomas recipie, it has helped me.  Keep a positive outlook and give your future spouse the best possible wedding gift you can: your sobriety.

[amarw]

How much did you cut down, did that help? I can totally do that!!!!!!!!!!!

[0421]

I can't answer that but the forum will  tell you that you will always have an excuse, hope you try, not everyone believes in cutting down but I did for a week and then just quit.

[amarw]

Thanks guys. My fiance has no idea and I don't want to get married on these things. This isn't my first time with addiction, but with particular drug it is. Previously I didn't have a choice in quitting and I don't want it to get that bad. I have a ton of wedding stuff to do this week with finals at school also. Should I wait until next week to start this process?

[0421]

not everyone is as lucky as I am I do not have to do anything if I don't want to, but everyone else works or has kids or both, they are doing it. AND so can you!

[0421]

I will tell you the truth, it is not easy, you feel like you have stomach flu and beleive me you will  cry at everyting. I made it 6 days then used one just to get through the night, don't stop and start I have done that twice now. This forum is the greatest place we had a person yesterday almost take a pilll, it was amazing to see  how many people said no do this do that, stay with us, we will get you through it. We did she went to bed last night and doing ok today, not easy but doable. I have been on this site and just read and read the post, it took me awhile just to get on a post, but glad I did. I am 12 days and I feel pretty good, the first 8 days for me where the bad ones. It is worth it, no more counting the pills to see how many left and can I make it to the next script. Stay with us and you and I and all of us can do it.

[amarw]

I just found this post and I am so relieved. I only have 5 pills left and I want to stop SO bad but I am scared to death of the withdrawals. I have only been taking hydrocodiene regularly for about 6 months -3 -5 pills a day, depending on the day. I am a full time student, work full time, and I am planning a wedding. I do not know what to expect here???? Very scared.

[0421]

I am scared to use it,  I read I should let the poison out, do you think I could try some now?? I wonder how long it takes to get  out of your system? Took 4yrs and 4 months to get in hope to he$$ it don't take that long to feel better, no I already do feel better, so I will keep on keeping on

[ImDONENoMore]

Have you tried immodium ad yet?  That works great for the bathroom issues.  :)

[0421]

Day 12
I am up and moving even doing some chores, my legs are bad and the steps are hard to do (exspecialy without Vicoden) but I am doing it. leg and ankle was crushed in 2006 said I would always use a cane or even a leg brace. WRONG I am walking on my own, even without the pills.
When do I get to stop taking trips to bathroom land? been there done that !!!

[dedicatedtostop]

Yep I was asleep, seem "okay" today. Playing cards is awsome, keeps your mind busy:) Yesterday was another day down!!

[0421]

I was playing cards, hope you are up and doing ok and if not you are asleep, something that
does seem to elude me, but doing good, and I will keep on keep on