I found a new life coach---me

[dove3053]

Thursdays are hard for me because my BF wants money so he can get a job and work. I think he has been off the pills for a few days because I see he has RLS and stomach troubles. What he said he was going to do was get into some kind of rehab. It's wearing me down.

Other than that I'm ok.

Dove

[dove3053]

I'm sorry to hear that. I know how hard it must have been with someone that close.

I also believe too that if someone wants to do it they will, no matter what.

Dove

[Britney83]

alright well than all the best to you....just trying to help.  I'm in medecine...i read people well too...and my mom commit suicide as well...for the record...

[dove3053]

When I was in my 20's a friend of mine tried to kill herself with my gun. So I take suicide
threats serious.

I'm in phone sales, I read people well. I know within less than a minute if they will buy. Same thing with my bf I know his bs too.

Dove

[Britney83]

First off congrats on your road to recovery! Sounds like you have to make a decision.  You of all people, should know that addicts will lie, steal, make up CRAZY excuses, anything to get their high.  ANd sadly, the people that love them usually give in.  So, it is our job to STOP choosing to enable them.  Vicuser you are absolutely right.  ANd i admire your pastor....and look how the true motive comes out when he offered to feed them himself? It is sad that people would even go to a person of God and try to feed off their sympathy.  Luckily they are usually pretty keen on the senses.  You don't have to be mean and hurtful, just explain. Becuase i love you, i will no longer enable you.  He wants cigarettes? Fine...go buy them for him...i know it's a pain..so buy a carton, hide it, and give them to him as needed.  As for getting around...if he sells his buss pass, than that should be it. You shouldn't have to now worry about how he's going get where becuase he sold it for pills...he has to have no way out in order to stop it sounds like....some people only change when they are forced to as sad as it sounds...you said he has no where to go....so he's not going to go far...he may throw a tantrum and say he's leaving to go jump off a bridge...don't worry..hold your ground...he'll leave to get you go cave...but he'll be back soon....your all he has.....and your also his only source to get pills......good luck...brit

[VicUser]

I can tell you are a loving and compassionate person and I am at a loss for words. Please know that I care about your wellbeing, as do others here, and I want to see you move onward and upward. If he wants to make that journey with you he needs to make the effort, otherwise you need to find the strength to let go. Just being with someone isn’t always a better place to be.

[dove3053]

I have a good heart. He has been living with me for over a year and a half. He took alot of abuse from me when I was drinking and he was a key factor in why I stopped. He has no where to go.

He told me when I came home that day he took the quarters.

I'm so conflicted about this.

Dove

[VicUser]

I feel for you. If you told him to take a hike where do you think he would or could go? I wouldn't have a thief in my house, that would be the last straw.

[Flutterby111]

YOu really are between a rock and hard place....but the headline on this post says it all.  Keep it together for YOU.  I can't imagine how tough that must be.  TOugh love might be the only way right now.  Stay headstrong...as you are.  I'll keep you in my thoughts.

[dove3053]

I know this sounds mean but I hope when I get home he is sick. So he doesn't have any energy to fight with me on this. I know now to hide my money. Last week he took $20 in quarters I needed for laundry and bus fair myself.

Dove

[VicUser]

WOW, I didn't know bus passes are that expensive and I would bet you are right about him selling it. How is his shoe leather?

I do understand about the smoking, I loved it, but one of the reasons that I gave it up was they went up to $0.55 per pack and I had a kid on the way.

[dove3053]

Let me know how it went with you PO.

Dove

[swtbreezie]

I feel your frustration my friend.  Hang in there don't give him the money take him or get him a way to go.  I hate that you have to go through this.  Got to go check in with my PO this morning but will be back later.
HUGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Breezie

[dove3053]

Bus passes are $70 for one month and he would probably just sell his.

I'm a smoker so I have a soft spot there. When going thru WD/s I needed to smoke.

Dove

[VicUser]

I understand, however during a conversation one time with that involved the Pastor from my church, he was asked about giving to the needy, he said that he often has people come to his door asking for money for food. He said he will either invite them in to eat with him or offer to take them to a local restaurant. He said that most of the time they decline the offer and go on their way.  How about offering to buy him a bus pass, I am not sure if you have those, but in the city near me (that has busses) they offer a bus pass that is good from a month, then if he losses it too bad. My feelings on cigarettes, and I am an ex-smoker, they are a luxury and should be place well below the basic needs.

[gizzy32]

no more enabling, no more money. he is your boyfriend and its time for tough love now. you need to focus on you and be selfish right now. you are doing so well in your recovery, but it is still early and dealing with this is a lot to take. if you see that he is really trying to stay clean, then that is different, but it does not sound like that to me. i could be wrong though, but i don't want to see you go down that road again. stay strong for you right now.

[toxictome]

You go girl...we'll support you to be your own coach!!

It sounds like you have things in life wearing you down that you shouldn't have to be responsible for...boss, b/f......what can you do to change these circumstances??? I just worry about you...thats a lot of "stuff" to deal w/ when you're trying to change your own life around....keep posting!!!!  

YOU ARE DOING AN AWESOME JOB, DOVE!!!
You really have the drive an determination to keep on track...be PROUD of YOURSELF!!!

[dove3053]

He says he needs money for the bus and cigaretts (sp). What I think he wants are pills. I know his game and I'm tired of playing it. The truth is I let this whole thing get out of hand so I have no one to blame but myself.

Dove

[VicUser]

Please don’t let him wear you down, you are doing so well and we all are rooting for you.

I don’t understand why he needs money to get a job. If it for clothes to be presentable and if you want to help him, what about taking him to the local thrift shop and buying one set of decent clothes. I don’t mean to sound cold, but from the age of 14 I have always been able to find something to do to earn money. Shoveling poop from pig and cow pens has never been beneath me, wasn’t great money but work is work.