How long will depression and lethargy last?

[Krissy_123]

My last oxycodone 5mg was Friday at 8am. I've been on them 11 years from my prescribing doctor. I've never gone longer than 24hrs before. Just started day 5. Was on 10-12 5mg oxy ir per day. Friday I took 3 tramadols I had left from a script,same with sat. Sunday I took 2 yesterday 1.5 and today I'll take none. Also taken 2 Imodium when needed. Usually every 12 hrs. Didn't need any Sunday or yesterday. Took two an hr. Ago. I feel so lost,I'm not working,kids are in school and for the first time in years I don't know who I am?? Thought 5 days in I'd start feeling bit better? I cry...a lot. I'm just rambling I think? Any help of what to expect in coming days or when I'll feel normal again would be great. I can't go back. I can't go back on them evil pills. I want my life back.  

[Krissy_123]

Hey ready4btr, thanks for your kind words. I know the feeling you have of being scared and having kids and no energy to take care of them. I know the biggest reason I stayed on my pills for so long was fear of the withdrawls. And I'm not gona lie it's hard,hardest thing I've ever done. When you quit you will deff want to take a few days off work. Goodluck. xox

[Krissy_123]

Hey bubulous, I did sleep almost 5 hrs. I really needed it. I was just out trying to shovel the driveway...lmao ah ya. I spent more time with my head on the shovel handle,but hey I did it! Now even eating soup chicken noodle soup (that taste like cardboard) so today so far has been...ok :)

[ready4btr]

Hang in there sweetie!  I too have an addiction to percocet (which is oxycodone) - I've been taking them daily for almost 3 years and I want off these evil things too!  So while I haven't gone more than a day without them I can't offer any advice on how long it will last but can be there for you to vent to. I cry alot as well and am sick of feeling like i need them to get through my day. I work full time and have 2 kids and need the energy so I worry about how I will function when I start withdrawing. Uggg...  
I would suggest keeping your mind busy..take hot baths and a lot of people say to take vitamins.  Keep your chin up. Post often...we can all support each other.

[Bubulous]

Good morning Krissy.  It seems you got some sleep huh?

[Krissy_123]

I totally get what you mean on the feeling weak and powerless....but hey,I'm still here! So I'm not to powerless! ;) day 6 and it snowed 9inches in one night,I'll have lots to keep me busy today clearing the driveway. Lol. I'll check back this afternoon. Have a great day! xox

[Krissy_123]

Goodmorning,and thank you for your responce. Ya I had always just thought tramadol was like an anti-inflammatory. My doctor started me on 6tabs a day of 20mg oxy ir. I've always been small,110-115 and 5foot7 so that really was a killer dose for me. I weaned all by myself down From 120mg to between 60-35mg a day. Then I just quit. I couldn't taper down that low anymore? It was to hard. Hardest part is is the pharmacy has called twice saying my monthly pick up wasn't picked up Friday. I'm to scared to answer the phone,cuz I'll say yup I'll be right there. My morning of day 6 (with the mess up of 7tramadols) and I'm feeling....ok. Tummy hurts,but bearable. Way to go on 61 days!!thats amazing! Much love Krissy xox

[NeverAgain127]

Hi Krissy:  How are you doing?   When I read your first post, I thought to myself "Uh-oh, I 'll bet she doesn't know Tramadol is an opiate.."

But that is water under the bridge now.  You're on your way.   I took about 40 oxy a day for 8 years, and had actually weaned myself down to 1/4 that when I stopped.  My withdrawals were not pleasant...I felt alwful for 2 weeks, then turned a corner on day 16 (and also developed a mysterious cough, which turned out to be just another symptom of getting off the opiates.)

When we take these drugs, our brain chemistry is profoundly altered and when we stop, we feel sad, unable to concentrate, etc.  What will speed up healing is whatever we can do to FORCE our brains to make their own endorphins (with is short for "endogenous morphine") again.  Laughter, chocolate, sex, exercise, any activity that makes us feel good.  

Water is so vitally important too...make sure you are getting 6-8 glasses of water a day...you should be peeing every 2 hours.  

This takes time...unfortunately.   I'm on day 61; I am still having sleep issues.  I may fall asleep for an hour, but then I'm up for 2, asleep for another 1, then I'm done for the night.  It makes me feel awful, but I know it will pass.

You are doing well; keep posting!  (And btw, regarding your inlaws; how much do you want to bet one of them has had a run-in with pain pills...it's a world-wide epidemic!)_

[Bubulous]

I got my strength slowly.  I crawled for a long time before I could walk.  There was a time I felt like superman when he gave up his powers in whichever movie that was.  I felt so weak and powerless.  I was as a child looking up to all the grown ups.  I had questions and fears and I tried to follow the path of least resistance to get to where I wanted to be.  The path of least resistance, however was filled with obstacles and you must gather the tools to break down those walls.
I am glad you have family in your life and I hope that the support you get here helps you along the way.

[Krissy_123]

You are an amazing strong human being!! You sound like you've fought hard for your life and come out stronger on the other side...I want that! Seeing y'all makes me feel like it's possible!! Thank you xox

[Krissy_123]

Yes,I think you're correct. I didn't no tramadol was an opiate. My docs an ***. But ya I took them couple over the weekend and started reading horror stories about others getting addicted and withdrawls were worse than oxys. I flushed them right away. All I've taken now is few imodim and my vitamins. No imodium today. Tummy feels not to bad. Thank you for responding. Xox

[Bubulous]

Well you are doing great.  I too listened to music non-stop when I was starting this.  It truly saved me.  Soon after getting better I started writing.  I wrote theories, poems, journals, and a whole lot of non-sense lol
Being bipolar made things a little more difficult than they needed to be and for that reason it took me a little longer than it should have but I was finally able to make it through.
I also had past trauma from my childhood and the wars that I had to contend with.  That is what inspired most of the writing.  I could not just cognitively work through those things.  I had to work hard to fight through insecurities and fear to ever see "the light".  However you want to take that.  I am excited for you.  It hurts me to see those who have been affected by this disease but I know what it looks like on the other side and I can't wait till you find it.  It isn't perfect, but hey, that's life.
But an inspiring day clean can ripple through your life and affect you in ways that those pills can never meet.

[Pat1956100]

I'm pretty sure taking the Tramadol set you back as well.  It provided relief because it is a narcotic so your still in withdrawal because of that.  You're still doing great though and be proud of what you have done.  Think of how much you took last week compared to this week.  
The depression part really is awful so make sure you watch funny movies or shows on youtube.  I find that really helps.  You are now a clean mommy so that's worth everything.
Hugs

[Krissy_123]

Oh my gosh,YES it does feel like day 20. Friday at 8am feels like weeks ago...I don't watch the clock as much. I find if I get outside,even play with the dog well listening to music the day goes by quicker. Then once the kids are home and I'm not alone,I quit lookin at the clock all together. Being alone is so hard,and scary.

[Bubulous]

It probably seems like it should be day 20 right now huh?  Time as stated above is what controls this thing but it is funny how hours seem like days sometimes and hours seem like seconds in good moments.  Hold on long enough and your days will get shorter.  You may even find yourself holding onto moments and wishing they would never go away and that is one of the wonderful parts of getting your life back.

[Krissy_123]

Thank you! I'll be here....right now there's no where else I'd rather be. Tomorrow is day 6...no way I'm f#ckin that up!! Lol

[Bubulous]

You better be lol
Hope to see you tomorrow and the morning finds you in a better state.

[Krissy_123]

Thanks man, me too. Take care...I'll be back tomorrow!

[Bubulous]

That is a funny a$$ movie.  Good night, I hope you can sleep.

[Krissy_123]

Music has always been something I've loved. It's gotten me through some rough patches these last few days. I just finished watching 22 jump street. And I laughed? I haven't laughed in days. Felt really good. Almost like a diff kind of high. I'm sleepy,hope tonight maybe some sleep will come.

[Bubulous]

Music can also give you a small bump in the beginning if you like music.  The thing to realize is that most of the "good feelings" whether they come from listening to a great song or watching your kids play are often fleeting.  The half life of the pills along with the instant gratification makes replacing them difficult.  Some things are more pleasing and rewarding than others like helping people or going for a walk.  I am proud of you for doing that and you should keep it up.  Nature is amazing and exercise is crucial.

[Bubulous]

Lack of concentration is one of the worst things you encounter with the withdraws.  It is kind of like being kicked while you are on the ground.  I mean you are already having all of these physical symptoms and on top of it the concentration of a newborn.  The fog will lift as you go and you can stimulate your neurons by learning new things and journaling.  If that is something you get into I would recommend it.  I journal everyday and can pick up any of my journals over the last few years and re-read the times when I was going through withdraw or a depressed episode to realize that, yes, I did make it :)
Kuddos to you for saying that you are not starting over.   There is no need to ever look back although it does happen for some and it did for me.  I had a hard head and I had not punished myself enough so I went back to the pills and re-lived the whole nightmare all over.  Each time I gathered strength and knowledge until I got to the point that if I did slip up I did not dive deep back into the addiction.

[Krissy_123]

Oh I really can't wait until I can read  again. I miss it,but my brain feels like mush. Can't concentrate. Just went for a walk and I actually feel like I can eat real food. Not crackers.

[Krissy_123]

Well there's no way in heck I'm starting over. I may still feel like crap,but nothing compared to Saturday when I was sitting on the heater with my sweater over my knees well still shivering. No,I'm done. It's just hard,but I guess if it was easy we'd probably all still be using.

[jifmoc]

Krissy, this may sound cliche but don't worry about another day of this. Literally, can you make it another 5 minutes? Think of it that way. Take this in baby increments.

Everyone on here felt exactly as you do now and here we are to talk about it! That will be you, too, just keep posting:)