I hate hydrocone...it ruines lives

[soldier1683]

Hello all.  Well this is my first day without the help of any hydrocodone.  I have been taking them on and off for about 10 years now and have got up to 30 a day.  I also have bought them off of the streets and am so sick of spending my hard earned money on this hopeless situation.  I have two children who mean the world to me and a wonderful husband who doesn't understand this predicament I have got myself into.  I have done this cold turkey routine so many times and I am so sick of it.  I just want to feel normal again.  I want to have a wedding and marry my husband again but without the help of any drugs.  I want it to feel like me.  I have to go throught this by myself at home with my kids because my husband is gone right now in the military so I really need support.  I know that I can do this it's just my mind playing all sorts of games with me right now.  I just refuse to pay $6 a pill anymore and flush all this money down the drain and go to doctors and get refills when the only problem is my desire to get high and make it through the day.  My stomach is already rolling but I know I can do this.  I have to.  I have to save my life right now.  If you have any suggestions that will help please help me.  I have already started praying.  I need help from up above right now.  


Thanks

[IwillDoThis]

Hi and welcome -My use was very similar to you.   61 days ago I detoxed off hydros 10/325 I had cut back to 4 per day for quite some time down from 6 per day for solidly 2 years and sporadically much longer.  Your withdrawals will not be fun but you can get through it just assemble what you'll need now before you start feeling bad - having food, gatorade, immodium all readily handy to grab when you are sick will be so much easier.

Here is what you should expect:

My w/d started about 16 hours after my last pill - severe diarhhea which I did not manage at first - big mistake.

Get Immodium - take it aggressivly, every time you hit the toilet  take an immodium

Gatorade, juice, water - hydrate, hydrate, hydrate

Lots of hot showers for the cold sweats, every hour if you can

Try to force yourselt to eat something to keep your strength up

You can try nyquil or benedryl to help you get some sleep - sleep was very sporadic for me

Depending how your stomach feels and you can tolerate - you can take magnesium, potassium, zinc and B12

Also view the Thomas Recipe which can be found by scrolling up or down along the right hand side of this forum - look for heading "Most Viewed Health Pages"

A protein shake will give you amino acids and help keep your strength up if you can manage it - even mix it into an ice cream shake if that makes it taste better.

The worst will be day 2-4 usually, on day 4 FORCE yourself up and for a walk to get the blood pumping.

Treat yourself with care and don't beat yourself up - attitude plays a big part in this - you have to want to be clean more than you want those pills.  I'm stubborn and I wasn't gonna let them control me any more but make no mistake that your mind will mess with you, call to you, rationalize why you should be able to take them.  Think about some kind of aftercare - counseling whatever or what you are going to do differently to stay stopped.

If you are chronic pain pt like me thinking about what types of alternative pain management you'll use moving forward is critical.

I started a couple journals on my profile page about withdrawal, pain managment and sleep if you want to read in more detail some suggestions or what I'm currently trying.

I wish you well and post for support.  We understand where you are, we won't judge you.  We will help you through this!

stick around!

[motherof2needinghelp]

I'm in same place as you 2 kids husband and a script of 180 norco 10 I took last size yesterday 1 1/2 in the morning and by evening felt like crap ... So took 3 ultrams ,, tried taking buispoirne to help sleep didn't work... How bad and how long will with drawls last from taking 5 or 6 pills a day almost 2 years but used to only take 4 pills a day I can't get refilled for a week from today and if I get thru this I will never take another one. My kids need.me .and they are small.so I have to ne functional ,, what can I take to give energy and help mood thanks

[Radiostar55]

First of all, I and the folks here at MH want to thank you for your service to our great country!  I hope you were honest with your Doctor.  If you can get some sort of Valium ( Diazphine 10mg) helped me alot the first 10 days of w/d. You have the right addittude to quit.  I was taking 180mg a day of Oxycodone and 2-3 somas a night for 3 years. I am 64 days clean today.  The people here are wonderful and know first hand what you are going thru. Forget about any more scripts Cancel all of them!! I flush 55 oxys down the toilet on day 2 because I knew if I could get them I would have used again.  Sure its going to be tough for a few days, you may sneeze alot yawn all the time and have No energy.  Long Hot Baths helped..You have to start by minutes, then hours, then days..You will be so proud of yourself. You may have trouble sleeping for a while too. When trying to sleep imagine yourself on that beach with your Mom, blowing bubbles into the air and watching them go as high as you can see them in the sky..Just keep repeating it until you fall asleep. Don't let the mental demoms lie to you about getting that script!  Also, something that helped me..I wrote a goodbye letter to my drugs, and when I had cravings I took it out and read it out loud to myself as many times as I needed too. Good Luck and Keep Posting..Any questions feel free to ask me

G

[jjbird]

Hope you are doing good today!! We are here for you on the board. I am days clean of hydrocone and have to little ones too. Reading this boards helps cause people know what you are going thru and how to help. I agree with previous post though if you want it bad enough you will do it. That has been the key for me and remembering how I used  to be. And another thing that may help besides the vitamins etc that have been mentioned is to get thru the day hour by hour or etc if that will help.

[sharzi]

I'm so glad you are going to your doctor for advice and support.  Its something that you don't have to do alone.  It's very hard to quit a drug habit, it akin to cutting off one of our legs and trying to learn to live without it.  In fact, it may be harder than that!   We can't do it alone.  Our mind has become so wrapped around our drug of choice, that it literally cannot function without it.  

I sound like a broken record on these forum, but I urge you to go to a support group (like NA or even AA)  and find other recovering addicts,   Just because noone else will understand you or be able to help you like another addict.   When we try to do it alone we fall back to what used to comfort us. .  Looking back, I realize that every time I tried to quit on my own, I failed over and over.   With help, I am in recovery and staying clean.

I wish you the best, and pray that you get the help that you need and want.

Sharon

[soldier1683]

OK so I called my doctor and I have an appointment today at 3:15!  Holy Lord I think I am going to crap in my pants.  I am so stinking nervous!!  Ok well hopefully I will get some words of encouragement and make it through this and on my way to recovering this mess of a life.  I have blamed everyone else for my problems for so long and now I am taking a long hard look in the mirror.  WOW it stinks to see the real me because now I am this shell of a person.  I hope I get out of this hole.  Thank you for listening.

[kona2009]

Yes I would call him.  He should help you with this.  I'll bet he already knows you might have a problem.  Coming clean with your doc is going to be a good thing for you.

It was the best thing I did cause now he knows of my addiction.  He did give me a few scrips that helped with the WD's but they are not addictive at all.  They just made detoxing a little more bearable.

Yes you should tell him and you will be glad you did.  Take care and stick around the forumn and you will get tons of good advice.  Don't forget we are all here for you.

Kona

[soldier1683]

Thank  you...do you think I should call my doctor and tell him?  I just don't want to chance him prescribing me something else and me getting addicted to that.  I want to give this a valient effort by myself but I do know that that other script is out there waiting too.  I am going to see my mom at the end of this month and I want to be clean on the beach.  I have to do it.  Should I call him?  I am seriously so scared right now.  I just returned from Iraq and fought in the war-got shot at daily- and I have never been as scared as I am right now.  What the HELL??  This *****!  I am a very strong woman.  I have to do this.  Should I call him?

[kona2009]

I agree with gizzy, cancel the script cause you will be past all the detoxing bs.  If you want this bad enough you will do it.  You have 2 little ones that are going to need you.  The older they get the tougher the decisions get.  You need to get back on track to make those sound solid decisions.  The pills mask lifes hard decisions we had faced.  

You need to find your triggers in life and how to control them.  Stick around and you will get lots of support from us former addicts to the devils happy pill.  

Wishing you the best of luck!  You can do this!

Kona

[soldier1683]

I actually started looking at the pill bottle at about 30 of them left and started doing the bargaining bit with myself.  It was...oh ok I will enjoy this last bit of them and take 5 at a time and then realized within a day that I was down to about 5 pills left.  Then I watched the clock every 4 hours and took 1.  So last night was the last one.  I can have more delivered to me at a moments notice though...I just DONT want to do it.  I really need to get this demon over with and tell my doctor.  I need to just bite the bullet and do it.  I also have set myself some goals like getting remarried and running in a marathon so I have something to look forward to accomplishing when I get done detoxing.  I think that this is important for me to do as well.

[gizzy32]

Well by the end of this month you will have detoxed and wont need that script right? If it's there chances are you will fill it. I say cancel it, I know it's tough but what needs to be done. Addiction is a terrible cycle, so we have to do all we can to ensure our sobriety.

Did you taper down the pills or cold turkey from a large amount?

[soldier1683]

Hello!  I acutally went to rehab about 2 years ago and got it all out of my system then but did not complete the program and within a month of leaving filled my script and was doing the routine all over again.  I also have a refill coming up at the end of this month....what should I do?

[gizzy32]

Welcome to the forum. Today is the start of a better life for you cause drugs steal so much away from us and cause a lot of grief.  Congrats on stopping today and reaching out for support. What is the longest you have stayed clean from hydro's before?

Also if you look in the top right of this page, under health pages, you will see the thomas recipe and it can help with withdrawls. Keep posting here too, you will get a lot of support from others in the same boat as you, we understand. Good luck.