Aa
I hate withdrawal
Getting the runs, don't feel motivated, don't want to eat but feel hungry, got a creepy feeling in my skin especially legs, feel period pain type feeling, yawn, sneezing n suicidal thoughts. Oh n tossed n turned most of the night feeling as restless as anything.
And this is sticking to the 15 x 4 taper. God know what this would be like with Zno Codeine.
On the up side i phoned the prescribed medications support service n they said they wont take my child they just want to help me, that i need to be open n honest n they'll ask the lady whos seeing me to call me this morning sometime.
Evey x
And this is sticking to the 15 x 4 taper. God know what this would be like with Zno Codeine.
On the up side i phoned the prescribed medications support service n they said they wont take my child they just want to help me, that i need to be open n honest n they'll ask the lady whos seeing me to call me this morning sometime.
Evey x
****************** THIS THREAD IS CLOSED *******************
NO MORE POSTS, PLEASE.
NO MORE POSTS, PLEASE.
You fixated on the word "twist". The whole phrase was "twist everything into excuses to stay on the path you're on". And that's what you do, in every post. Is the new idea that your kid won't be taken from you so can do codeine? Yesterday it was that your parents will be gone someday so you can do codeine. It's more of the same, and it's not "recovery".
You said you like our conversations. I find them maddening. Unfortunately, I got sucked into this never-ending drama. That's something I need to work on. However, I'm tired of debating whether or not you're an addict, or how and why you said something offensive, or if your parents are controlling you even though you asked them to control you, or if you're drinking wine with your pills or not today, or exactly how in danger your daughter is.
Nursegirl's great posts alone have given you a ton of blunt, realistic, intelligent advice. Many, many others have done the same. After that, it's just a broken record.
You said you like our conversations. I find them maddening. Unfortunately, I got sucked into this never-ending drama. That's something I need to work on. However, I'm tired of debating whether or not you're an addict, or how and why you said something offensive, or if your parents are controlling you even though you asked them to control you, or if you're drinking wine with your pills or not today, or exactly how in danger your daughter is.
Nursegirl's great posts alone have given you a ton of blunt, realistic, intelligent advice. Many, many others have done the same. After that, it's just a broken record.
I think perhaps you may want to do your homework about the child protection services where you are. Everything I've read indicates it's just like what we have here:
http://www.dhsspsni.gov.uk/standards_for_child_protection_services.pdf
Pay special attention to page 23, starting with #4..."protecting children in vulnerable circumstances." Then on page 24, you will see the following criteria:
"Children whose parents/carers misuse drugs/alcohol"
You better believe there are agencies in place to protect children. Do they automatically remove the child from the home? No, but if an investigation is intiated and that's the decision, then it could happen. Don't fool yourself into thinking otherwise.
http://www.dhsspsni.gov.uk/standards_for_child_protection_services.pdf
Pay special attention to page 23, starting with #4..."protecting children in vulnerable circumstances." Then on page 24, you will see the following criteria:
"Children whose parents/carers misuse drugs/alcohol"
You better believe there are agencies in place to protect children. Do they automatically remove the child from the home? No, but if an investigation is intiated and that's the decision, then it could happen. Don't fool yourself into thinking otherwise.
They do, Castaway. I have neighbours; a couple the mam is a drug addict n the Dadis an alcoholic n they still have their children.
Yes i was scared of my child being taken but now I realise they won't do that.
I'm not twisting things you're saying, Castaway.
As for my daughter well I'd help her anyway I can. I'm her mam n that's my job.
You know what, castaway? I like our talks. You say it how it is n do not *****-foot around. I remember when you first posted on my thread - created a stir hehe. Anyway thank you. I hope you are doing ok n taking care of yourself
Evey xxx
Yes i was scared of my child being taken but now I realise they won't do that.
I'm not twisting things you're saying, Castaway.
As for my daughter well I'd help her anyway I can. I'm her mam n that's my job.
You know what, castaway? I like our talks. You say it how it is n do not *****-foot around. I remember when you first posted on my thread - created a stir hehe. Anyway thank you. I hope you are doing ok n taking care of yourself
Evey xxx
Evey, you continue to twist everything we write into excuses for you to stay on the path you're on. If you loved your daughter you'd let her wean down slowly? C'mon. As far as things being "different in the UK", you've posted many times about fears that your child will be taken from you, but now they "let addicts raise their kids there", even if it's unsafe? C'mon.
I'm done.
I'm done.
Just need to correct something. I have been on treatment for cirrhosis of the liver for 3 months, with another 9 months to go.
Admitting you have an addiction, recognizing that you are an addict, is the first most important part of changing your life, and being in control of your life. It shows strength and fortitude to admit to drug addiction and make a decision to do something about it.
If ceasing to take the problematic substances, be it alcohol, codeine,puts you into a state of withdrawal (which you have stated you are feeling), then you have a habit and an addiction.
Withdrawal is uncomfortable, but no one has ever died from withdrawals.
The physical discomfort (can be very unpleasant) can be alleviated. It lasts for 3-4 days to 3 weeks at tops.
It is very distressing for children, family and friends to see someone in pain from addiction, and then withdrawals. It can affect people for ever.
You, however, have weakened in your moment of withdrawal from the original conviction to give up. Nearly everyone does question why we ever wanted to give up when we begin withdrawals, when we really know the answer still.
You were unhappy with your life, and want to gain control of it again. to be the person you know you can be, not the out of control drug addict you sometimes are.
Two things spring to mind.
Firstly, the health issues with burdening your body with so much codeine. (I am here for cirrhosis of the liver from years of polydrug use), and secondly, I know that after physical withdrawals from drugs, there is then the longer lasting issue of psychological support.
Drinking alcohol lowers one's inhibitions, encourages reckless behaviour, aggression, self pity etc, feelings of euphoria are rare at these times when you drink.
Be brave. Do this for your child, yourself. Just take each day at a time and wean yourself off. The long term ramifications of addiction can be horrible.
I am currently on a very harsh treatment for my liver, and I am houseridden. Have been for 3 months, with another 4 months to go. The treatment has left me lethargic, sleepless, covered in rashes, diarhhoea, nausea, hair falling out, edema, stretchy legs, mouth ulcers, bleeding gums, spontaneous blood noses, bruising, insatiable thirst, swollen stomach, muscle pain, dizziness, and more I need not mention.
I am just trying to let you know that addiction leads to irepairable damage, to families and ones' long term health, both body and mind.
I wish I had been patient all those years ago, and gone through withdrawals and really tackled my addictions, etc.
I wish I knew then what I know now.
If ceasing to take the problematic substances, be it alcohol, codeine,puts you into a state of withdrawal (which you have stated you are feeling), then you have a habit and an addiction.
Withdrawal is uncomfortable, but no one has ever died from withdrawals.
The physical discomfort (can be very unpleasant) can be alleviated. It lasts for 3-4 days to 3 weeks at tops.
It is very distressing for children, family and friends to see someone in pain from addiction, and then withdrawals. It can affect people for ever.
You, however, have weakened in your moment of withdrawal from the original conviction to give up. Nearly everyone does question why we ever wanted to give up when we begin withdrawals, when we really know the answer still.
You were unhappy with your life, and want to gain control of it again. to be the person you know you can be, not the out of control drug addict you sometimes are.
Two things spring to mind.
Firstly, the health issues with burdening your body with so much codeine. (I am here for cirrhosis of the liver from years of polydrug use), and secondly, I know that after physical withdrawals from drugs, there is then the longer lasting issue of psychological support.
Drinking alcohol lowers one's inhibitions, encourages reckless behaviour, aggression, self pity etc, feelings of euphoria are rare at these times when you drink.
Be brave. Do this for your child, yourself. Just take each day at a time and wean yourself off. The long term ramifications of addiction can be horrible.
I am currently on a very harsh treatment for my liver, and I am houseridden. Have been for 3 months, with another 4 months to go. The treatment has left me lethargic, sleepless, covered in rashes, diarhhoea, nausea, hair falling out, edema, stretchy legs, mouth ulcers, bleeding gums, spontaneous blood noses, bruising, insatiable thirst, swollen stomach, muscle pain, dizziness, and more I need not mention.
I am just trying to let you know that addiction leads to irepairable damage, to families and ones' long term health, both body and mind.
I wish I had been patient all those years ago, and gone through withdrawals and really tackled my addictions, etc.
I wish I knew then what I know now.
I think alanon / nar anon would be beneficial too but they are proud people n I really can't see them going to something like that.
My mam thinks that my Dad is an alcoholicn has nevee been to thrm but knows of them.
If my daughter was an addict I would stand by her. I would NEVER disown her ever. She grew inside me for 9 months i've been to hell n back to keep her due to ex'behaviour i will always protect her as she's my little angel.
I wouldn't take her stash as I would it makes a person worse. And if she need weaning down slowly I'd respect her.
You've gotta understand we do things differently here in the UK. I'm not trying to be mean but we have the NHS here n a lot of free support services (the downside is waiting lists). They offer maintenance programmes, counselling etc.
Also, over here they do not go taking children from addicts. They support them to get better n stay as a family i did not want her to be know this or I'd have accepted help sooner.
I really hope she never becomes an addict as I want her to be happy n it isn't happy being an addict :( i really hate that word :(
Evey x
My mam thinks that my Dad is an alcoholicn has nevee been to thrm but knows of them.
If my daughter was an addict I would stand by her. I would NEVER disown her ever. She grew inside me for 9 months i've been to hell n back to keep her due to ex'behaviour i will always protect her as she's my little angel.
I wouldn't take her stash as I would it makes a person worse. And if she need weaning down slowly I'd respect her.
You've gotta understand we do things differently here in the UK. I'm not trying to be mean but we have the NHS here n a lot of free support services (the downside is waiting lists). They offer maintenance programmes, counselling etc.
Also, over here they do not go taking children from addicts. They support them to get better n stay as a family i did not want her to be know this or I'd have accepted help sooner.
I really hope she never becomes an addict as I want her to be happy n it isn't happy being an addict :( i really hate that word :(
Evey x
If your daughter told she was addicted to codeine and couldn't stop taking it, that it was all she cared about, more than even her own child, would you not feel sad? Would you not hurt inside ? That's what your parents are going through.
As far as the controlling, for the millionth time, you asked your parents to help you and regulate your codeine. Sure, it would be nice if you could quit on your own, but you have repeatedly posted that you don't want to do so. Whatever their flaws, they're trying to help you as best they can. Al-Anon would no doubt be a benefit to them, or perhaps some other sort of counseling to deal with what they are going through.
As far as the controlling, for the millionth time, you asked your parents to help you and regulate your codeine. Sure, it would be nice if you could quit on your own, but you have repeatedly posted that you don't want to do so. Whatever their flaws, they're trying to help you as best they can. Al-Anon would no doubt be a benefit to them, or perhaps some other sort of counseling to deal with what they are going through.
Deal with my addiction?
:( do i have to call it that, my addiction. Really don't like it :(
How should they deal with it?
I think that they think they can get rid of it n all will be ok again. They've always sorted my messes out by controlling things. They're not bad people in any way n have been very supportive n helpful with me n little one
Evey x
:( do i have to call it that, my addiction. Really don't like it :(
How should they deal with it?
I think that they think they can get rid of it n all will be ok again. They've always sorted my messes out by controlling things. They're not bad people in any way n have been very supportive n helpful with me n little one
Evey x
your parents also need healing. they need to learn how to deal with your addiction. please suggest alanon to them.
humm... have you always been a whiny immature self centred ***** ? I hope not !!! there you have it... your parents had a daughter with a personality and now they have a different one...and the change is never for the better... not to say the suffering they go through and just by looking at the precipice her/his addict daughter or son is every day...it is a loss of the person they knew not knowing when and where and how he/she will end.... i guess because i am not the mother of an addict.
I read somewhere that parents go through a grieving process when they find out their offspring is an addict. Why?
Something needs sorting. Im in uni for 3 whole days next week. Doing my masters. Weight management n so this module will be behaviour modification in weight management. Haven't been since September. Each module is £650 so chose September was the obesity epidemic, May n June will be doing exercise n weight Management.
Last year i spent 3 weeks getting the personal starement right to be accepted on to it. Last year i was also almost ripped, doing exercise programmes like insanity n p90x, eating clean, drinking lots of water to 'flush out any toxins, getting in some vitamin D, walking, talking to like-minded people.
What a different a year makes, eh.
Evey xxx
Last year i spent 3 weeks getting the personal starement right to be accepted on to it. Last year i was also almost ripped, doing exercise programmes like insanity n p90x, eating clean, drinking lots of water to 'flush out any toxins, getting in some vitamin D, walking, talking to like-minded people.
What a different a year makes, eh.
Evey xxx
addiction destroys our souls too, Evey.. i am glad that you have apologized to Sarah... i have known her since day 1 here ( almost 4 years ago) i know she is made of what i can only aspire to be... she is made of one piece, i have the utmost respect for her, i have cried reading her words, feeling her pain for not having both her parents with her, i still talk to my father every night and i miss him every day just like her...i know her pain and how those words have hurt her because her love for them is infinite....
our words can be swords, evey.. an addiction can leave us with the cruelest soul and words like swords. Please, do take this seriously, it is indeed your worst enemy, it will destroy you before you notice it.... fight it, don't look back, work and live for your future, your daughter, your parents... clean your soul, your mind and focus on what is important: your recovery. Don't take it lightly, it is serious...Again, good luck tomorrow, ask for help tomorrow, don't play to them like it is not serious yet because it is codeine, it is serious .
our words can be swords, evey.. an addiction can leave us with the cruelest soul and words like swords. Please, do take this seriously, it is indeed your worst enemy, it will destroy you before you notice it.... fight it, don't look back, work and live for your future, your daughter, your parents... clean your soul, your mind and focus on what is important: your recovery. Don't take it lightly, it is serious...Again, good luck tomorrow, ask for help tomorrow, don't play to them like it is not serious yet because it is codeine, it is serious .
Ok. Yea you're right there. When i had a drink i should not have mentioned it but I'm not addicted to alcohol so I didn't see there being an issue?
I'm so very sorry I never meant to hurt, upset or annoy any of you.
You're all such ace, caring, giving, thoughtful, honest people who have given their time. I really appreciate all of this n I mean that.
You've all been there for me n honest not just telling me what I want to hear.
This is the best, most loveliest forum I've been on.
Hugs,
Evey xxxxx
I'm so very sorry I never meant to hurt, upset or annoy any of you.
You're all such ace, caring, giving, thoughtful, honest people who have given their time. I really appreciate all of this n I mean that.
You've all been there for me n honest not just telling me what I want to hear.
This is the best, most loveliest forum I've been on.
Hugs,
Evey xxxxx
she has realized that she is an immature self centred b**** ( her words) which i agreed with her and this is a first step to start making changes...
Your three posts that got everyone "annoyed" at you were all deleted, thankfully. Perhaps you can think about what you said in those posts and realize why the people who tried to help you were "annoyed"? Perhaps your posting while drinking wine and doing codeine is part of the problem as well (do you really consider that "sticking to your taper")?
for once i agree with you , eve..
now, try to keep yourself busy, the more you think about the doc, the harder ....i know it is not easy at all but what's your alternative? tormenting yourself ? break these thoughts by trying to keep busy and good luck tomorrow !!
now, try to keep yourself busy, the more you think about the doc, the harder ....i know it is not easy at all but what's your alternative? tormenting yourself ? break these thoughts by trying to keep busy and good luck tomorrow !!
What do you mean help others at my expense? Its me taking it not them n i am sticking to the taper so why are you all annoyed at me? I'm doing what I'm meant to do x
Im trying you know. You're all right. Im an immature self centred b***.
I'm truly sorry for the disrespectful things I've said. They're having a meeting 2moro to discuss whether i can have their service or not n if so, what treatment. Of course i don't want to lose my parents - just want them to back off a bit but when i try saying this they get hurt, shout or don't speak to me.
Yea i feel shame n guilt over all of this.
All ive thought about today was codeine, how to get it, where to get it n its tormenting me.
Evey x
I'm truly sorry for the disrespectful things I've said. They're having a meeting 2moro to discuss whether i can have their service or not n if so, what treatment. Of course i don't want to lose my parents - just want them to back off a bit but when i try saying this they get hurt, shout or don't speak to me.
Yea i feel shame n guilt over all of this.
All ive thought about today was codeine, how to get it, where to get it n its tormenting me.
Evey x
Sarah will get over it, she's working her recovery. Will you? How many sources of guilt and shame do you want to unravel? If you lose your manners with strangers trying to help, how often is your family the victim of your lack of self-control? Self-centeredness is a symptom of addiction, often not seen by the addict. Who do you want to take the codeine for? Does it help your kid, parents, work, or who? Do you think it's okay to help yourself at other's expense? Doubt you will respond to this, but I hope you think about it.
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