I just can not quit, feel like it is taking over my life

[divorceddruggie]

I have been addicted to oxys for a few years, I have tried to quit a few times, cold turkey, through detox, even tried lowering my dosage, I feel like this is taking overmy life and job, I don't know what to do, It gets worst each and every day, my tolerance is up to 10 80's a day, I do not want methadone, as I beleive it is swapping one drug for another, nothing against methadone sounds great but just not for me, I need suggestions or advice on how i can get this done, I do want to quit, just have run out of ideas

[divorceddruggie]

Gutsnglitter: Oh okay, I get it now, I apologize, I was in a foul mood this morning, and may have misinterpeted it. I thought this as one other site I have been to was mostly people talking about getting high and where to get what and meeting each other. I would not date anyone from a site such as this also, the wrong type of person I would want, no offence meant though.

[divorceddruggie]

I atempted to do just one before getting out of bed, it did not work, I needed to do another one as soon as I got to the kitchen. I will try to do just 3 more before I leave for work in 2 1/2 hours. I will try to find a way to do less while at work. Tgtiffany: I understand that but jeeze he really is annoying with all that positive energy, however I probably shouldn't have been rude to him so I apologize Wantsnormalagain, Gutsnglitter: I appreciate I am your first post, however I got the smack on the *** if I screwed up, I didn't get speaches, got a smack and then it was forgotten, and why *wink* at me, If that is flirting, sorry that is not why I came here, and I will be as good as my addiction allows me to be, I work all day so I have to put the mask on as my subordinates have no clue, and my superiors do not know either, and I plan on keeping it that way no matter what. If I seem a little anal, sorry, just not having a good morning, I could not even drop one in the morning, I don't know how I am going to do this but I have to, I need my life back, the original me.

[divorceddruggie]

Well I just learned my consumption is a lot higher than I ever thought, I had myself at 10 a day, today by the time I go to bed will be 16. I am starting my Taper Monday instead just 1 a day, and each week reduce again, once I am at 2 or 3 I am going to go for it, I will try Cold Turkey with Meds I will be receiving from a friend (same guy who gives me my oxy's) I cannot continue this any further, I do not know where it all went wrong, or how I got to so many. I have them stashed in several places in my Apt just in case I have company and need to get away. I am still stunned my consumption is that much. Wantnormalagain, It will take more than just saying I CAN DO IT, it is nice of you to offer those words of "wisdom" however I beleive it will take more than that, but thank-you anyways. I will listen to others from this site as well as my friend as he is in a position to know what will work for sure, I came here for mental support and some advice on dealing with my reduction of Oxycontin.I understand that it is not allowed for others to offer advice on the taper, so I have made my own and will keep a journal of it, if nothing more, if I fail, then maybe I can look back and see how or why, and make a correction if needed, same as others can read my journal and offer any ideas and support. I am sorry Wantnormalagain, I did not mean to be so harsh, I am a little disappointed with myself right now and I don't think those words alone will help, if they did for you then great but realistically I believe it took more than that, like a few tranqualizers and muscle relaxers. If I have seemed rude, then I take back some of what I said, I am a little disappointed in myself with my consumption.

[wantnormalagain]

Hi, I have never posted to anyone before but i read yours and can sense the depression, you CAN beat this really even at 10 a day, which is alot, I cant give alot of advise as i havent been clean very long, but i tapered down and it worked for me as for the depression i went through it prior, during and after, but you can hold it together, comming here is the first step, i will admitt that this site is what saved me and the people here are great, there are a fe that have already contacted you and some yet to, they all give great advise and wont steer ya wrong, just keep saying I CAN DO IT, I CAN DO IT, i know sounds redundant but it worked for me, like i said i havent been clean long but i did it, and the people here were a big help, listen to them and take thier advise, they have great remedies to get rid of some of the symtoms of the withdrawls, anyways Have a great day, and remeber you CAN do it

[tgtiffany]

Hey!  Hope that you are doing well today, I read that you want to taper down then do CT?  I think that's what I would do if I were at a dosage that high!  It's too dangerous to just quit CT from that high.  First things first, use that link that they posted above also on the bottom right of the screen there's a link for the Thomas Recipe, also has some good stuff on it.  There are lots of people here to support and help you along the process.  Start changing the way that you think and you will get far.  The title to your post says "I can not do this..."  Yes you CAN and you WILL do this.!!!!  Keep your head up and smile ;)

[divorceddruggie]

I do not get these meds (oxys) from a doctor, and the meds I am being given do not come by a perscription, or from a doctor, I have a friend who has a position that allows him to do me favours like this, or to give me the oxy's I need. As for winning her back, this is NOT an option, I posted earlier that she is getting remarried and that we are done, just stayed friends, as the only problem was my drug consumption, she just couldn't watch me destroy myself any longer, thats it. but thank-you for the support